AITAH for refusing to let my ex inlaws around my kid because they wont cut off their son?

When a young mom learned her ex’s brother had a history of inappropriate behavior with a student, she drew a hard line to protect her daughter. But her ex’s family, who defend their son, pushed back, sparking a bitter feud.

Her decision to ban them from seeing her child has her ex and his parents calling her cruel. Was she too harsh, or is she doing what any parent would to keep her kid safe? This story’s got social media buzzing with heated opinions.

‘AITAH for refusing to let my ex inlaws around my kid because they wont cut off their son?’

t all started when OP, a 24-year-old mom, explained why she’s keeping her daughter away from her ex’s family, tied to her ex-brother-in-law’s troubling past:

The title isn't about my [24F] ex [31M] rather his brother [28M] who was fired as a TA (teachers assistant) because of inappropriate contact with at least one student.

He didn't go to jail but got years of probation, he had to pay a fine to the government/courts and pay the students family for emotional distress. Did he actually...

My ex and I dated for about two months when condoms failed and I was pregnant. I am absolutely pro choice, but I've always really wanted to be a mom...

Her ex proposed quickly, but his parents demanded paternity tests, straining things from the start:

my ex ended up proposing not even a week after I told him and I said yes because I thought I loved him. His parents insisted he shouldn't tie the...

After marrying and having the baby, OP realized they weren’t compatible and moved out to live with her mom:

I honestly didn't care that much since we planned to elope first for tax reasons and then have the party way later. We did elope a few months after birth...

I ignored stuff while pregnant since I tried to convince myself a two parent household would be best for my baby but I ended up realizing a dysfunctional household is...

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I can give details if any of you want but in broad strokes he didn't know how to take care of himself let alone the baby or me. I went...

Post-divorce, her ex had partial custody but often left the child with his parents during his time:

He tried to win me back and draw out the divorce but after a bit over a year he met some wide eyed 19 year old and I guess she...

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Before that truly tragic breakup he agreed to divorce and he got partial custody, but I had the majority since he wanted time to really live in his prime (that...

During all that I had some contact with the glamma (barf) and grandpa who were the ones actually watching the baby during his custody time but it was very minimal.

When her daughter started school, the ex-in-laws pushed for more time and a religious school, which OP rejected:

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It's stayed the same till she started school and since then they want more time with her and to send her to a religious private school which I absolutely refused...

I found out about the stuff with my exBIL and I of course said that I wouldn't let that man around my kid. they weren't stupid enough to really argue...

I initially said that they could see my kid but she could not be in the same place as him and if he's living with them she will only stay...

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The ex-in-laws tried to downplay the brother’s actions, alarming OP further:

They seemed annoyed and have since constantly tried to justify stuff and the more I hear from them the less I want them around my kid at all.. In their...

\- He would never do anything to my kid since she's family and IM the disgusting one for even thinking of that

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\- I am so dramatic and I'm using the lies of a troubled child (wow ironic) as an excuse to take away their grandchild.. Theres more if you guys want...

Finally, OP banned them entirely unless they disown the brother, leading to tension with her ex:

So I told my ex that till they disown his brother they will not be around my child and that if he doesn't want to step up I'm willing to...

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but of course then said that I was cruel for taking away their grandchild when they almost lost their son (yes they meant exBIL maybe going to jail). It took...

but is so whiny every pickup and drop-off since I stopped contact unless through our lawyers or in the custody app we have. He will tell me how sad his...

Well its been two months of this at every pickup and I can tell they're really getting to him because he is slowly getting more and more frustrated and outright...

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He wont listen to me and seems to completely side with his parents. I am sure my kid isn't around them since he does also realize that would be all...

I might show him this post so he can see how stupid he's being and its not on me that he now has to actually parent and he's only in...

I think this got really long so thanks for reading, venting felt really good so if you want to do me a solid and tell him off please do.

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OP’s fierce stand to protect her daughter from her ex’s family, who defend a brother with a history of inappropriate behavior, is entirely justified. The ex-brother-in-law’s firing for misconduct with a student and ongoing probation signal a clear risk, especially since his parents minimize his actions, calling a 15-year-old victim “not really a child.” Their dismissal of the issue shows a dangerous lack of judgment, raising valid concerns about their ability to prioritize the child’s safety.

As Dr. John Gottman notes, “Disrespect and manipulation in family dynamics often stem from a need to control or protect one’s image”. The ex-in-laws’ defense of their son and accusations against OP reflect a refusal to acknowledge the gravity of his behavior. This makes OP’s boundary—banning them unless they disown him—not only reasonable but necessary to shield her daughter from potential harm.

The ex-husband’s whining and pressure, influenced by his parents, complicates things. OP’s insistence on communication through a custody app or lawyers is a smart move to keep interactions clear and documented. His reluctance to fully support her stance, combined with his questionable past behavior, like pursuing a much younger partner, suggests he may not fully grasp the seriousness of the situation either.

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OP should stay firm, continue documenting all interactions, and consult a lawyer to explore full custody or supervised visitation, especially if the ex-brother-in-law is on a sex offender registry, which could legally restrict his contact with minors. Therapy could also help OP and her daughter navigate this family tension, ensuring a safe and supportive environment for her child’s growth.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Social media erupted with fierce support for OP, slamming her ex’s family for defending a predator and pressuring her to compromise her daughter’s safety. Here are the full reactions from the Reddit crowd.

Many rallied behind OP’s protective stance, validating her concerns:

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Fanky_Spamble − Short Version: "AITA for not wanting to associate with pedophile sympathizers? " Short Answer: NTA

BadMoFo84 − NTA. Your concerns are valid, and their rebuttals are bananas. Also, as a child of divorce, I too was dumped at grandma and grandpas when it was my...

God forbid he’s actually got to hang out with the kid and do some actual bonding. Took a while for me and my dad to be cool growing up, for...

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Maybaby31 − NTA you are protecting your kid

Ok_Conversation9750 − NTA and his whole family (him included) sound like a damn train wreck! !! I wouldn’t want a child anywhere near them.

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FerroMancer − NTA…. .but looking forward to seeing who in their right minds could disagree, ‘cause that’s gotta point your ex out faster than a camera at a Coldplay concert.

The ex-in-laws’ victim-blaming and minimization drew sharp outrage:

FartMasterChamp − NTA. Please tell your ex he's the worst kind of loser. He goes for younger girls because no woman with a fully developed brain would put up with...

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Not only is he a s__t partner and a deadbeat, he doesn't care enough about his own child to keep him away from a pedophile. Keep protecting your child because...

moominsmama − NTA. From my standpoint, it's not even about not disowning their son. I can understand loving their son unconditionally, even when he is a monster. This goes beyond...

They are willing to blame the victim. They are willing to sacrifice their relationship with their grandchild for him, let alone her safety. You have a good reason to believe...

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It shouldn't matter whether or not your BIL qualifies for a textbook pedophile definition (as in someone who is s__ually attracted to prepubescent children). You're not a psychiatrist, he is...

All that should matter for you, and for them, is that he may present danger to your child. He demonstrated that he is not in control of his urges and...

They are not safe adults. They cannot be trusted to make safe decisions for her. Is it possible to figure out a way to do pickups and drop offs without...

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Like, maybe, at the police station? Let him have this conversation of front of actual police officers, I’d love to be a fly on the wall there. If that is...

rocksparadox4414 − There is NO WAY I'd feel comfortable with my child around any of these people, but ESPECIALLY pedo BIL. I don't care how the in-laws spin it, the...

Users offered legal advice, urging OP to strengthen her case:

ForwardPlenty − if the exBIL is on probation he is most likely also on the s__ offender registry. It could actually be a crime for him to have your child...

It is all too common for parents and loved ones to minimize the crimes and the impact, that is really the only way they can justify to themselves allowing him...

Fact is that since most s__ crimes against children are not reported, he may have been doing this a long time and most of his victims will never be known....

You need to do everything possible to keep your child away from exBIL. You can contact the probation office directly, and find out if he has restrictions on contact with...

You can use this in your arguments that you are just trying to keep exBIL out of jail. You can also talk to a lawyer if they persist in wanting...

Condensed_Sarcasm − I would be taking info about the ex-BIL to the courts to petition for full custody and supervised visitation ONLY since your ex-in-laws only care about their precious...

I was in your daughter's shoes, with a predator like this and his enabling parents, and guess what? Me being a family friend didn't stop him from assaulting me. Your...

CenterofChaos − NTA. I'd start documenting the drop off behavior in the app too. Be blunt "I am not okay with our daughter having contact with known s__ offender. Your...

Do not bring her to their house and stop asking me about it. " Every single time he whines, same message. Keep the log in the parenting app to show...

The ex-husband’s behavior sparked alarm, with users questioning his character:

CXM21 − Sounds like your inlaws have 2 predatory sons, not just one. .. a 31yr old chasing a 19yr old! ? RED FLAAAAG.

ApricotBig6402 − NTA but your husband is having issues because his moral compass is fucked up too. Coming from someone in an age gap relationship married 33F to 45M your...

Given you saying your child is school aged I think even if you were legal it seems to suggest that he groomed you too. .. I understand that I am...

I had a university degree and a good paying career. This man seems to have met both of you very shortly after you left the nest. .. He fails to...

Your ex isn’t that far off. Of course he’s gonna decide with his parents with repeated harassment. You’re definitely gonna have to take this one to court. I definitely pull...

Cute-Profession9983 − I mean, brothers of a feather. They both chase naive young girls and try to train them.

OP’s unwavering stand to protect her daughter from a family that excuses dangerous behavior has drawn a line in the sand, but it’s come at a cost—endless complaints from her ex and his parents’ pleas for access.

Her resolve reflects a mother’s fierce love, yet their pushback paints her as the villain. Can she find peace while holding this boundary, or should she bend to ease the tension? What do you think about this gut-wrenching family clash? Drop your thoughts below!

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