AITAH for gossiping to all the women in my major about a creepy classmate?

One private message was all it took to divide an entire major. In a department with more than 2,000 students and only around 30 women, things already felt tense. The women had formed their own club—a space to vent, study, and simply exist without being treated like potential dates. So when one student received a blunt sexual proposition from a male classmate, she didn’t just feel uncomfortable. She felt like staying silent would be a mistake.

What started as a single DM quickly spread through the women’s group—and then across the wider student community. Some accused her of going too far. Others believed she did exactly what needed to be done.

‘AITAH for gossiping to all the women in my major about a creepy classmate?’

It began with a description of the environment she was navigating:

Then came the unexpected direct message:

But the confrontation didn’t end there:

Soon, the messages were circulating widely:

Then came an update:

At its core, this situation isn’t just about one inappropriate message—it’s about what happens afterward. In environments where women are vastly outnumbered, even a single interaction can feel amplified. A sexually explicit proposition in an academic setting shifts the tone from collegial to uncomfortable in seconds.

Some argue she should have explained privately why his behavior crossed a line. But placing that responsibility on the recipient ignores a larger issue. Psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula has written in Psychology Today, “When someone crosses a boundary in a blatant way, the focus should not be on the recipient’s tone, but on the initiator’s behavior.” In other words, the burden shouldn’t fall on the person who felt uncomfortable.

There’s also a broader social context. STEM fields, particularly computer engineering, continue to struggle with gender imbalance. Research consistently shows that feeling objectified or treated primarily as a romantic prospect reduces women’s sense of belonging. In that light, sharing the screenshots within a trusted group may have felt less like gossip and more like mutual protection.

Practically speaking, there are three reasonable steps in situations like this: document the interaction, seek support within a trusted circle, and report formally if necessary. Institutions also have a role to play—clear policies and education about professional conduct matter, especially in spaces where power dynamics or demographic imbalance can heighten vulnerability.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

As expected, people online had strong opinions—and many leaned firmly in her favor.

Several commenters openly supported her decision to warn others:

Others imagined how differently things could have unfolded:

Some responses were sharp and sarcastic:

And many emphasized personal accountability:

What began as a private message quickly turned into a campus-wide debate. Some see her actions as public shaming. Others view them as a necessary warning in an already uncomfortable environment.

When someone crosses a line, silence is one option. Speaking up is another. In this case, she chose the latter—and the ripple effects were immediate. What would you have done? Keep it private, or make sure others knew?