AITA for telling my mom I want to spend my money on myself after she used my earnings to buy consoles for my brothers?

A 17-year-old teenager finds himself in a tough spot when his mother uses nearly all his part-time job earnings to buy video game consoles for his younger brothers. He feels unfairly treated, especially when she calls him “entitled” for wanting to keep some money for himself.

Why should a teenager bear the financial weight of a family? That’s the question sparking heated discussions across social media, with many arguing the mother’s demands have crossed a line. Let’s dive into this teen’s story, from being expected to fund his brothers’ gifts to facing the pressure of becoming a “real adult” before even turning 18, and see what the online community has to say about it.

‘AITA for telling my mom I want to spend my money on myself after she used my earnings to buy consoles for my brothers?’

The story kicks off with a teenager navigating the heavy burden of family expectations.

Im 17, I've done some part time jobs since I was 16. I have 2 younger half-brothers, who are my mom's and step-dad's kids.

Ever since they were born, my mom asked me to help to take care of them, since i'm the oldest, she always mentions that it is my responsibility.

Since I started working, mom asks for 90% of the money I earn to help for house expenses, that includes buying whatever my brothers need, but as a result I...

There was a time when she told me that i'm an entitled, that before getting remarried she spoiled me, and that was a way to teach me how the real...

Things heat up when the teen discovers his hard-earned money funded lavish gifts.

For my 5yo brother bday in May, she bought him a Nintendo Switch, that seemed weird since they are always complaining about having little money, but I said anything. Last...

I said nothing during the day, but after the party I asked me mom if she bought the consoles with the money I gave her, and she answered yes. I...

my mom said that I also have to take care of my little brothers and it wouldn't hurt gift them something they will be happy with. Gotta admit, I got...

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and rely on the computer my school gave me for studying. Told her that my brothers already have phones, tablets and a playstation, if she was gonna use the money...

The argument escalates as the mother doubles down, labeling him selfish.

She called me entitled, and that is easy for me to say it since im not an adult with children, that all I have to do is study, work and...

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using money that could go for little brothers on "stupid things" was being selfish, and that I dont appreciate how much they as parents do for the 3 of us....

I'm still in contact with my dad, but he told me that my mom's expectations for me are normal, and yes, is my responsibility as the older brother to "help...

I also told this to my classmate, but he says my mom is crazy and I should have money for myself. Im not sure about anything, that's why im asking...

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The teen starts questioning his family’s norms and seeks help, with little success.

Edit: Gotta say that 90% was a rough estimate. I did some math and the exact amount I give her based on my current salary is 84.5%. I have so...

I never questioned if my mom is a bad parent before. Thanks for all the comments. Also, I dont have a bank account, my current boss is friends with my...

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EDIT: Hi, I try talking to me grandma (Mom's mother), told her everything that has been happening to me, but she just said that is normal for me to take...

After some talk, he told me that was in a similar position when he was a teenager and had to take care of my mom and their younger sister. I...

I don't want my sister bothering me, sorry kid" and hang up on me.. My mom's sister lives in another country, so she is out of reach. I'm still trying...

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I'll try to find a way to get myself fired from my current job, but some of you suggested joining the military. I don't know if I might qualify, but...

Is it a lesson in responsibility or a case of financial abuse when a teenager’s earnings are funneled into family expenses?

This teenager’s story highlights a troubling dynamic known as parentification, where a child is forced into adult responsibilities. His mother’s demand for 84.5% of his part-time income to cover household costs, including luxury gifts like Nintendo Switches for his brothers, leaves him with little for himself. This isn’t just unfair—it’s exploitative. He’s left using an outdated iPhone 6 while his brothers enjoy multiple devices.

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At the same time, the mother’s response—calling him “entitled” and demanding rent when he turns 18—suggests a lack of empathy for his needs. Both she and his stepfather have full-time jobs, raising questions about why a minor is shouldering such financial burdens. Social media users labeled this as financial abuse, and the term fits.

Family psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour notes, “Teenagers need space to develop independence, not to be burdened with adult roles” (The New York Times, 2023). The mother’s actions undermine the teen’s ability to prepare for his future, potentially trapping him in a cycle of dependency.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Social media erupted with opinions on this teen’s situation, with voices ranging from outraged to witty, but nearly all agreed he’s in the right.

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These users were firm: the mother’s actions are unfair and exploitative, and the teen deserves to keep his earnings.

000-Hotaru_Tomoe − NTA And if, when you turn 18, your mum really makes you pay the rent, my advice is to look for a shared house/room elsewhere. I'm under the...

ClarkKent0072 − Are the kids yours? ?? Absolutely NOT your responsibility! !! You are definitely NTA!

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survival-nut − NTA - This is parentification. At your age you should not have to give money to your parents. They should be providing for the children (including you). Open...

[Reddit User] − NTA 90% of your paycheck is not a normal or reasonable expectation. She's entitled, not you.

Pandasrthebest − NTA. The only one entitled here is her. You are a minor and she is the adult as well as her husband. Forcing you to support expensive purchases...

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NewfromNY − NTA, you need to hide your money and save for an apartment. They are abusing you.

lolsxoxo − NTA. Try to contact your bank to make the account private! She’s not entitled to your money and she’s legally obligated to take care of you until you’re...

Some users took a cheeky approach, suggesting clever ways to push back while reinforcing the teen’s rights.

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FickleBlacksmith9758 − Side note: I'm petty. Get in writing ( write it out yourself) what amount of money she wants for room and board. Then charge her for everything extra....

Does she want you to clean? Here's the hourly rate. Etc. For pushback just tell her you're learning to be an adult and adults don't work for free and tenants...

One user asked a pointed question, still siding with the teen’s perspective.

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[Reddit User] − INFO: If you're giving her 90% of your money already, where is she expecting rent to come from?

This group stressed that the parents, not the teen, should handle family expenses.

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Gypsy-Nyx − Nta. since i'm the oldest, she always mentions that it is my responsibility. No its not your responsibility. . it s her and the stepdads. Yes you should...

The community overwhelmingly supports the teen, calling his mother’s demands unreasonable and urging him to protect his finances and plan for independence.

This 17-year-old’s story reveals a family conflict where boundaries between responsibility and exploitation blur. His mother’s demand for most of his income, coupled with her dismissal of his needs, has sparked outrage online, with users labeling it financial abuse. The teen is left questioning what a “normal” family looks like, while seeking ways to regain control.

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What do you think about a teenager being asked to give up most of their earnings for family expenses? How can someone balance supporting their family with maintaining personal financial freedom?

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