WIBTA if I didn’t go to my husband’s family’s Christmas because they make fun of my stutter?

Family holidays are often supposed to bring warmth, laughter, and connection. But for one woman, the annual Christmas gathering with her husband’s relatives has become something she dreads. Instead of feeling welcomed, she finds herself bracing for comments about something deeply personal—her stutter.

Over time, what some relatives describe as harmless teasing has started to feel far more painful. The jokes rarely stop, and attempts to express how hurtful it feels are often brushed aside. Now, with another gathering approaching, she’s questioning whether staying home might be the healthiest choice—even if it disappoints her husband.

WIBTA if I didn’t go to my husband’s family’s Christmas because they make fun of my stutter?

The situation began with a holiday gathering that was already a bit unusual.

My (28F) husband’s (31M) parents (50s F/M) both had COVID over Christmas so we are celebrating Christmas this weekend. It will be smaller than it usually is. I believe it’ll...

aunts and uncles, a few of his cousins, and maybe his grandparents. Still a pretty large gathering and although most of his family has already had it, it still makes...

But her anxiety about attending doesn’t come only from the size of the gathering.

What makes me even more nervous is his family. His family likes to tease a lot. They usually just pick on little things like someone’s outfit or something stupid someone...

They will mock it endlessly. Literally I cannot get a word out while I am there without them mocking it. I’ll say, “Would you l-like some more water?” And his...

Attempts to explain how much it hurts often lead to even more frustration.

It hurts a lot and when I say that, they will just be act like I am out of line for being offended and use the excuse “I’m just messing...

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My FIL has said something a few times and my husband speaks up occasionally, but it’s only when things get really bad. Like one time, his cousin asked a dinner...

Then last year there was an incident where his uncle got me a present, but said I could only have it if I said a certain sentence without stuttering.

Because of these experiences, the gatherings often end the same way.

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Both my husband and FIL shut that down real fast. But the usual thing is to just tolerate it. It really hurts though and usually I end up just sitting...

I know that I’m just being overly sensitive here, but I really don’t want to go this year. I know my husband will be upset especially since I don’t really...

but whenever we go to the holidays and parties, I always come home crying.. WIBTA if I didn’t go to my husband’s family’s Christmas because they make fun of my...

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Situations involving family teasing can be complicated because what one group sees as playful banter may feel deeply hurtful to the person on the receiving end. In this case, the repeated focus on a speech difficulty transforms the dynamic from light teasing into something much more painful. Over time, experiences like this can erode confidence and make social gatherings feel emotionally exhausting.

From the relatives’ perspective, they may genuinely believe they are joking. Many families rely on teasing as a form of bonding. The problem arises when the jokes continue even after someone clearly expresses discomfort. When humor repeatedly targets something a person cannot control, the line between playful and harmful becomes impossible to ignore.

Psychologists often highlight the importance of emotional safety in close relationships. According to Dr. John Gottman of the Gottman Institute, “Trust is built in very small moments.” Those moments include respecting vulnerabilities and recognizing when a joke has crossed into hurtful territory.

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Moving forward, addressing the issue directly could help clarify expectations. A conversation between the woman and her husband about stronger support during family gatherings may be an important step. Sometimes boundaries also involve practical decisions, such as limiting time at events or choosing not to attend when the environment consistently leads to emotional distress. Ultimately, relationships tend to thrive when people feel respected and supported, particularly by their closest partners.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Many users immediately supported the woman and said no one should tolerate being mocked for something they cannot control.

HorseWithNoNames − NTA he's allowing his family to bully you plus a large gathering

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Biteme75 − NTA. Your husbands family are huge jerks. "Just joking" does not excuse repeated hurtful teasing.

Thatlyingbitch − NTA by any stretch of the imagination. What they are doing is disgusting. I also have a stutter and if my MIL ever teased about it, it would...

ohdearitsrichardiii − NTA it's so tacky to make fun of someone's speech impediment

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[Reddit User] − NTA, don’t go. It’s not safe. Stop the spread.

Other commenters emphasized that the bigger issue might actually be the husband not stepping in more firmly.

nintendo_d_s − NTA. Your husband's family members are all assholes, especially to you. Some teasing can be funny for both parties, but when they tease you about something you can't...

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Especially after you tell them that you don't like it. If your husband doesn't understand why you don't want to go, there's a problem with him too.

idrow1 − YWNBTA I know that I’m just being overly sensitive here wtf? That you'd even think that shows just how bad they've been treating you and you don't even...

tmss16 − YWNBTA. These people sound like enormous assholes and please, please don't feel like you have to subject yourself to them for the sake of not pissing anyone off.

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poofy_dinosaur − NTA. What! ?!? More than an in-laws problem, you have a husband problem.

Interstate15 − Wow! !! They are f__king horrible thunderbastards! !! Hubby too, to an extent! !

And a few users responded with passionate reactions and suggestions for handling the situation.

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stringbean76 − NTA his cousin asked a dinner if I “stutter while we’re f__king”. This is s__ual harassment.

blahdefreakinblah − NTA except you are being an AH to yourself by letting them treat you this way until now.

bonniebluest − NTA. You need to be aggressive with them. Shut it down.

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[Reddit User] − I know my husband will be upset especially since I don’t really have a good excuse for skipping out, but whenever we go to the holidays and...

Revolutionary-Bus448 − NTA. Why would you want to attend any function where you become the object of ridicule.

Family gatherings can be joyful, but they can also become difficult when someone consistently feels singled out or mocked. In this case, the woman is struggling with whether attending another holiday celebration is worth the emotional toll it has taken in the past.

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Some people believe skipping the gathering is completely understandable, while others think stronger support from her husband could change the situation. Either way, the discussion highlights how important respect and empathy are in family relationships. What would you do if a family gathering repeatedly left you feeling hurt?

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