WIBTA for building a fence to keep kids out of my yard?

In a quiet suburban neighborhood, a 27-year-old woman settles into her new home, craving the peace of her own space after a bustling city life. Her yard, complete with a swing set left by the previous owner, seems perfect—until three neighborhood kids start showing up uninvited, sledding in winter and now swinging in spring. No parent has introduced themselves, and the unsupervised play leaves her uneasy, feeling responsible for strangers’ children on her property.

Torn between her boyfriend’s suggestion to talk to the neighbors and her instinct to build a fence for privacy, she hesitates, aware a fence might dim the kids’ joy. With a park just a block away, she wonders if her boundary is too harsh. This Reddit tale dives into the tension between a homeowner’s rights and the carefree play of neighborhood kids, sparking a debate about community and personal space.

‘WIBTA for building a fence to keep kids out of my yard?’

I (27 F) purchased a house in November in the suburbs looking for more privacy and due to COVID I haven't met many of my neighbors. This winter 3 kids started showing up to sled in my yard. I'm not sure which house they live in, but no one has introduced themselves to me. It only happened a couple of times, so I decided to let it go.

Fast forward to a week ago and the same kids started showing up and are playing on a swing set left to me by the previous owner. I was kind of annoyed because no one had asked and I felt like they were making me responsible for their kids since no adults were around.

Also we live a block from a huge park with a playground in a very quiet neighborhood. My boyfriend thinks we should go talk to the neighbors about it and ask for at least an adult to be present.

I just want to build a fence and not have to deal with it. But I feel bad denying children joy. So, WIBTA if I built a fence (with permits and a land survey) without consulting my neighbors and denying children a place to play?

This yard-play dispute captures a homeowner’s quest for control her space amid unspoken neighborhood norms. The 27-year-old’s concern about kids using her swing set without permission is valid—unsupervised play on private property risks liability if injuries occur. Her inclination to build a fence reflects a desire for privacy, especially as a new resident navigating post-COVID isolation. However, bypassing a neighborly chat could strain future relations, as her boyfriend suggests.

Property liability is a real issue. A 2021 report from the American Bar Association notes that homeowners can face lawsuits for injuries on “attractive nuisances” like swing sets, even if children trespass. The nearby park reduces the need for kids to use her yard, supporting her right to restrict access. Yet, the kids may assume prior owners allowed it, highlighting a communication gap.

Dr. Deborah Gilman, a family psychologist, advises, “Clear boundaries protect both personal space and community ties, but starting with dialogue can prevent misunderstandings”. The homeowner’s fence plan isn’t unreasonable, but a conversation with the kids’ parents—introducing herself and explaining her concerns—could resolve the issue without barriers. If talks fail, a fence with proper permits is a fair fallback.

To move forward, she could approach neighbors calmly, stating her liability worries and pointing out the park’s proximity. Removing or securing the swing set could also deter play. If privacy remains a priority, a fence aligns with her rights, but openness first might foster goodwill. Balancing her needs with neighborly courtesy can maintain peace in her new community.

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Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit’s verdict leans strongly toward the homeowner, affirming her right to control her property. Most users see the kids’ unsupervised play as a liability risk, noting that a fence is a reasonable solution, especially with a nearby park. They stress that parents should have sought permission, and the homeowner isn’t obligated to provide a playground, particularly for strangers’ children.

Some suggest talking to neighbors first, suspecting the kids had prior permission from the old owners and may not know the rules changed. A few view the fence as a costly avoidance of a simple chat, but all agree she’s not wrong to prioritize her privacy and safety. The consensus supports her boundary, urging action to avoid legal or neighborly trouble down the line.

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TemporaryExam5717 − NTA. Put a fence up and i guarantee the parents will show up to tell you that you are an ass. You are not one tho🤪

dusktildawn9 − NTA. If a kid gets injuries on your property, you can end up being held liable and sued.

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travellingdink − NTA. It's your yard and people should teach your children to ask before using it. Our first house had a family in it before we bought so all the neighbourhood kids thought our yard was still fair game to run through.

They were 40% of the reason we immediately built a fence. One of them even tried to argue with me that I'm not allowed to build a fence while we were building the darn thing. (dunno where where she got that from?!?).

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that-bro-joshy − NAH, if they got hurt, you’re liable, it’s your property you can do whatever you please with it. You aren’t “denying the children joy” if there’s a huge park near by anyway.

At first I’d recommend asking parents to accompany their children or even just make it clear that it’s YOUR land the kids are playing on and not some public hill and swing set (which is probably what the kids think it is)

thatasiandork − NTA I wouldn’t suggest just putting up a fence and saying nothing, but something has to be done. The old neighbors might have let them play in the yard all the time, you just don’t know. Talking to your neighbors or the kids would be the best thing to do before putting up the fence, but it’s your property.

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IsMyHairShiny − NTA. They shouldn't be going into someone else's yard to play.

nimbusniner − No assholes here. You're entitled to put up a fence if you want to have a fence. But if the only reason you're doing it is to keep the kids out, then your boyfriend is right: just talk to your neighbors! The kids almost certainly had permission to play in the yard from the previous owners and may not know the house has been sold if you haven't met them yet.

I doubt they just woke up one day and decided to use the swingset out of the blue. You could let one of them put it in their yard and skip the fence entirely (again, unless you want one for other reasons). But spending thousands of dollars to avoid a simple conversation is silly when there's no indication that the kids or their parents would be unreasonable about it.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. You are liable if they hurt themselves on the swing set (which is probably old and damaged). It is an attractive nuisance.. I recommend:. \- To build a strong fence. To check the swing ASAP. If it is in good state and you want it, maintain it. Otherwise, demolish it.

Dookwithanegg − YWNBTA not only do you have a right to keep trespassers off your property, what if something happened and the kids got injured in your garden. You do not need to be held liable for that sort of thing.

Evil_Black_Swan − NTA Build your fence without guilt. If those kids get hurt on your property, you will be at fault legally. Meanwhile, if you catch them tell them to leave and try to find their parents and tell them to keep their kids out of your yard.. It is not your responsibility to provide joy to other people's kids.

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This Reddit story unearths the challenge of claiming personal space in a neighborly world. The homeowner’s fence plan guards her privacy and shields her from liability, but skipping a talk risks souring new ties. With a park nearby, her yard isn’t the kids’ only joy spot, making her boundary fair. Have you ever had to set limits with neighbors over shared spaces? Share your story below—how would you handle these uninvited playmates?

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