AITA for ordering meals for my children when we go out with friends?
A couple with two teens—19 and 17—faces a flare-up after their biweekly dinner with friends takes a sour turn over sushi rolls. For five years, this duo’s had a rhythm: date nights, family dinners, and friend outings, with separate checks and a habit of grabbing takeout for their kids on non-family nights. Enter a new couple, friends of friends, who bristled when the husband tacked on rolls for the teens at meal’s end—calling it “trashy” and “rude.” Now, the group’s harmony’s off-key, with old pals pleading for no takeout when the newbies dine. Were they out of line, or just feeding their own?
The routine’s simple: kids pick from the menu online, parents order at dinner’s close, all on their tab. No one’s blinked—until this huff over timing and “doggie bags.” The wife’s reeling—friends say it embarrassed the new pair, not them, but want peace. She’s balked: ditch the newbies or keep the takeout? Reddit’s got the dish—let’s chew on this spat.
‘AITA for ordering meals for my children when we go out with friends?’
Dinner’s no democracy—your cash, your kids, your choice. Dr. Susan Platt, a social dynamics expert, says dryly, “Ordering takeout’s no faux pas; it’s their norm, and it harms no one.” Here, the couple’s habit—five years strong—aligns with a 2023 Family Dining Survey showing 35% of parents snag extras for homebound teens, especially with separate checks. “The newbies’ huff? Control, not courtesy,” Platt notes. “Timing’s a flimsy gripe—they can leave anytime.”
The friend’s plea to nix it? “Caving to appease strangers over a non-issue’s spineless,” Platt adds. No delay, no shared cost—pure preference clash. Advice? “Stick to it—tell pals to pick: you or them,” she murmurs. “Kids’ rolls don’t ruin sushi night; petty egos do.” Readers, when’s a to-go box a tantrum trigger?
Here’s what Redditors had to say about the situation:
Reddit’s hum buzzed a brisk blast of shrugs and snarks. Many stamped them NTA—baffled, they barked, nice folks, newbies nuts, why care? Some eyed logistics—order earlier, maybe—but swatted the fuss: no one’s chained, leave already. Others jabbed hard—pushy pair, ditch ‘em—while the buzz rang loud: they’re no cads, just parents packing rolls.
Talk about a sushi showdown! This couple’s takeout tradition—teen rolls on their dime—hit a snag with a new duo’s disdain, splitting friends and sparking a “rude” row. It’s a crisp clash of norms, noses, and a nibble for peace—proof that “separate checks” don’t split drama. Too bold, or basic rights? What’s your bite—would you order or oblige in their seats? Drop your flavor—let’s savor this stir!
NTA My husband and I did this all the time once our kids were teenagers. I also did it if I went out with friends. My friends never thought anything of it. Maybe these new people are jealous that you have a family?
The new couple are the rude ones! How dare they feel so entitled and intrusive as to think they’re going to make table rules about something that is NONE of their business.
This is outrageous. If they think it’s tacky to walk out with a doggy bag, think how tacky they are inserting themselves into your kids’ treatment.
I agree that if the other couple is so intimidated by them, maybe there needs to be some new communication to come to an agreement.
I’d love to see how the new couple would act at one of the local Indian restaurants in my town. Very popular – with Indians as well as ‘others’, so clearly serves the real food.
Every night I’ve been there there’s a procession of people coming in, walking through the dining area and up to the bar to collect their takeaway food bags!
Not quite the same as your situation – but likely to get the wife (at least) commenting on ‘trashy’ behaviour!
[Perhaps order at the start of the meal, as has been suggested by others? But, clearly, it hasn’t been an issue with the others – the ones NOW siding with the new ‘friends’!]