Was it inappropriate for my doctor to say “I should shave my legs” when coming in for a physical?

Medical appointments can be stressful even under the best circumstances. For people who already struggle with anxiety around healthcare, every interaction carries extra weight. That was the case for a 26-year-old woman who went in for what should have been a quick, routine physical exam required for her education. She expected a simple checklist appointment and instead walked out feeling unsettled. A comment that may have seemed small to the doctor lingered in her mind long after the visit ended.

It left her questioning whether she was being overly sensitive or whether a professional boundary had been crossed. When she shared her experience online, the response was immediate and intense. Some saw the doctor’s remark as wildly inappropriate, while others viewed it as rude but not reportable. Beyond the debate, the story struck a nerve about patient dignity and the power imbalance inside exam rooms.

Was it inappropriate for my doctor to say “I should shave my legs” when coming in for a physical?

The situation began with existing anxiety around healthcare appointments

Hello THT fam! I’m a huge fan of the pod and listen to it everyday on my hour commute to school. I’m just curious of other’s perspective on what seemed...

I want to start off by saying I have a lot of anxiety, and my interactions when receiving my healthcare have not been the most positive experiences unfortunately,

which then further my anxiety at these appointments. With that being said im not someone who “goes to checkups” quite often.

The appointment itself was required for school and meant to be routine…

I am in school though to be a Licensed Esthetician and my state requires a physical to sign up for a state board exam. So onto the story.. I arrive...

Early moments helped her relax slightly before the exam began

The first nurse asks a couple questions, takes my blood pressure,and weight then assures me the doctor will be in soon. I sit on my phone for a couple minutes...

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From hearing your ads on the podcast I was just curious what her reviews were like and in an effort to settle my nerves a bit I figured I’d check....

She has 4.8 stars and I only saw one negative review so I was like great! I can relax a little. I put my phone down and she knocks and...

She seemed pleasant and asked me what brought me in today. I told her I needed the exam for school and I have no concerns.

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She then says “Okay! This’ll be super quick, you’re a healthy kid, I just have to ask you some questions first.” This was my first red flag.. I’m 26 years...

Then she asked me a few questions about my general health and proceeded with the physical exam. She looked in my ears, throat, listened to my breathing, all the normal...

Everything felt normal until the final moments of the exam

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As we’re rounding the end she checks my ankles for swelling and this is where my real issue happened. (Note: I was wearing biker shorts since it was 79 degrees...

I immediately was a little stunned and uncomfortable but being my nonconfrontational self I just replied “I get them waxed at school.. they need a little hair for them to...

After leaving, she questioned whether the interaction crossed a line

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I IMMEDIATELY messaged my friends that works in healthcare and asked her, “was this weird??” My friends both think I should report her and it was wildly inappropriate to comment...

I agree but just curious knowing about Morgan’s background in healthcare as well as others opinions, am I blowing this out of proportion?

Situations like this highlight how vulnerable patients are during medical appointments. A physical exam places someone in a position where they are already exposed, often anxious, and reliant on the provider’s professionalism. Because of that imbalance, comments unrelated to health can feel far more invasive than intended. From a medical standpoint, body hair has no relevance during a routine physical unless it directly affects diagnosis or treatment.

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When a provider comments on appearance without medical necessity, it risks shifting the interaction from care to judgment. For patients with existing anxiety, this can erode trust quickly. According to Dr. John Gottman of The Gottman Institute, “people feel safe when they know they won’t be judged for who they are.” While his work focuses on relationships, the principle applies strongly to healthcare. Patients need emotional safety to feel respected and heard.

Some defenders may argue the doctor was attempting to be casual or friendly. However, professionalism requires awareness of how comments land, not just how they are intended. Gendered expectations, especially around appearance, can amplify discomfort even when a remark is brief.

Practical options for patients include switching providers, leaving feedback with the practice, or writing a review that explains why the interaction felt inappropriate. Formal reporting may not always be necessary, but silence can allow patterns to continue. Ultimately, medical care is not just about efficiency. It’s about preserving dignity in moments where patients already feel exposed. Even small comments can carry lasting weight.

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Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Many users felt the doctor’s behavior crossed professional boundaries

Racheli30 − Please, find a better doc! My gynecologist is a keeper. First time there I mentioned that I hadn’t shaved recently (I’m nervous in the stirrups and talk). She...

[Reddit User] − Yes. Sorry, yea, that’s not appropriate. As for the kid thing, that may have been something to put you at ease. I hope.

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Odinn_7000 − Both calling you a kid and the shaving comment are inappropriate, overly familiar, and crossing professional boundaries.

I had a (male) doctor who started calling me "baby" once (I am male and was 35 at the time) immediately after I told him I am gay. I did...

At the time it wasn't possible to submit any sort of online rating or feedback but had it been I definitely would have.

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littlestbonusjonas − Doctor here. This is out of line. Period. The only time I comment on someone’s physical appearance is when it is relevant to me explaining a diagnosis to...

For example “do you see how when I press on your leg it stays indented? That is edema” Or as a question if I want to know again because it’s...

For example “do you feel like your legs are swollen compared to what is normal for you? ” I never. Ever. Comment on someone’s appearance outside what is medically relevant.

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With perhaps the exception of if a patient points out something to me they are proud of like a new haircut in which case I quickly say “I love it”...

Budge1025 − Yes, very inappropriate. Not everyone wants to shave their legs and it was wildly presumptive and judgmental of the physician to make such a comment.

Whether it bothered you enough to report it or call the practice is up to you, but know that they never should have said that.

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Others believed it was rude but not worth formal reporting

[Reddit User] − Dr was probably trying to be friendly and relate to you but showed incredible poor judgement for both kid and leg shaving.

I don’t know if I would report them but I’ve learned to have a “is that a medical concern or your personal preference? ” follow up question on hand for...

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Athyrium93 − This is "leave a bad review" bad, not "make a formal complaint" bad, but it's still inappropriate and really uncomfortable

elizajaneredux − What. The. F__k. Inappropriate for sure. Not “call-the-licensing-board” inappropriate, but I wouldn’t go back.

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In my experience this wouldn’t rise to the level of malpractice or the kind of serious violation that would make the state/licensing body take action, so don’t waste your time...

But if you’re inclined, you could send a letter to her practice with the feedback and stating clearly that this is why you won’t return. Maybe she’s learn from it...

[Reddit User] − Was it a little rude? Yes. Dors it raise to "report her for being inappropriate" level? Not in my opinion.

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Some responses shared deeply personal reactions and experiences

SparkleWitch525 − I’d have been so upset to hear something like that. I couldn’t have even stayed in the room after that. 100% I’d have left in tears.

And I absolutely would make a complaint. I’m disabled and as far as shaving my legs goes it’s really not a priority for me when I’m considering what I’m capable...

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I’m lucky to have a husband who doesn’t care and so far no health professionals have reacted at all beyond saying they don’t care when I’ve apologised for the state...

However it was intended, it was highly inappropriate and could be soul crushing if said to someone like me.

MNConcerto − Not appropriate, never in my 57 years has a doctor or medical practitioner mentioned the state of hair on my body. I have been shaved, not,

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partially shaved to the knees, pits cleanly shaved, stubbled, full grown, now sparse as a result of radiation. I've never waxed or shaved the nether regions, only trimmed, given birth...

I've had a partial mastectomy, radiation, 2 knee replacements, multiple rounds of PT and as stated above given birth 3 times so all the appointments that go along with that

and the uncounted other appointments for the past 3 decades or so. NEVER has any practitioner mentioned the state of my body hair.

At my age(by the time you hit 50 you really stop giving a f__k about the opinion of others) I would probably call them out right then and there,

in my 20s I would have died of embarrassment. Your doctor is shaming you by calling out your body hair, it is inappropriate.

ButterfliesInSpace − As someone who doesn’t shave or wax my legs at all (out of a mix of preference and having overly sensitive skin), I would be very uncomfortable if...

Herbal_Soak_Token − Yes that's wildly inappropriate for a medical professional to make comments on your physical appearance that has literally nothing to do with your health. Is leg hair dangerous?...

WikkidWitchly − Frankly, you need to start speaking up for yourself. If you don't like being called 'Kid', tell her that. She's going to keep doing it because you haven't...

As for the leg hair thing, I'dve been snippy back. "Wow, you need to shave those legs. " "For what health benefit? Do you tell your male patients to shave?...

bec-1 − Hey girl, I’m a podiatrist so I look at legs, feet and ankles all of the time. This was super rude and unnecessary. I never comment on people’s...

Often women will say “oh I should have shaved, how embarrassing” and I am always reassuring them that leg hair is perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed about.

It’s actually a sign of good circulation! I can’t imagine being so rude and embarrassing a patient like that. I also completely disagree with the idea that women must shave...

As a health professional it is not our place to judge people’s bodies and I’m upset for you that something as benign as leg hair was enough for her to...

What may feel like a passing comment to a medical professional can stay with a patient long after the appointment ends. This situation shows how important awareness and restraint are in healthcare settings, especially when patients already feel anxious or vulnerable. While opinions differ on whether the incident should be formally reported, most agree the discomfort was real and valid. Respect and professionalism matter in every interaction. So where should the line be drawn, and when something feels off, is speaking up the right move?

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