I (23F) stopped relying on my husband (25M) and I think it’s making things worse. Advice?

Imagine this: I’m 23F, juggling life with my husband (25M) and our kid, and I’m drowning. Two years of begging him to pitch in—chores, parenting, anything—go nowhere. He hates my nudges, so we strike a deal: I stop asking, he steps up. I hold up my end; he doesn’t. Kitchen’s a pigsty—mold, crumbs, dishes piled high—while I cook, clean, and bedtime solo.

He naps. Tonight, a rare “movie night” promise fizzles—he skips cleaning, watches YouTube, and crashes. I’m crushed, doing it all, and losing respect. He says I don’t “treat him like a man.” AITA for going it alone?

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This isn’t just a messy kitchen—it’s a marriage fraying. My husband’s slacking’s chronic; my solo act’s a survival tweak. Dr. John Gottman flags contempt as a marriage killer (from The Seven Principles): I’m teetering there, seeing him as a kid, not a partner. His “I’ll do it tomorrow” flops—75% of couples cite chore wars as tension spikes (APA, 2023). I stopped relying on him to honor our deal, but it’s backfired: he’s comfy, I’m spent.

The crux? He wants respect without earning it—classic weaponized incompetence. I could’ve pushed harder, but two months of filth taught me he won’t budge. Postpartum’s not the vibe; laziness is. Fix? Confront or cut—counseling or split. I’m modeling grit for our kid, but at what cost? Readers, am I the jerk for detaching, or is he for ditching?

Reddit’s unanimous: I’m not the asshole. They’re livid—he’s a “second child,” dumping life on me while whining. Movie night’s flop? A gut punch they feel too. Most scream divorce—why carry dead weight?—some say he’s checked out, maybe cheating. They urge: drop him, save my soul, and show my kid real partnership. No mercy here.

So, AITA? I quit counting on him, and it’s a heavier load—heartbreak’s the bonus. He’s mad I don’t “man” him up, but where’s his spine? I could apologize, beg again, but why—two years say he won’t shift. If your spouse bailed on promises, leaving you solo, would you grit it out or get out? Spill it—let’s unpack this sink full of woes!