AITA for yelling at my husband to stop calling me Grandma?

In a cozy home filled with the soft hum of a sewing machine, a 39-year-old woman found solace in stitching, a craft passed down from her late mother. Each thread wove memories of love and resilience, but her husband’s relentless teasing turned her sanctuary into a battleground.

Calling her “Grandma” with a smirk, he mocked her passion, even in front of his work colleagues, leaving her humiliated. Her frustration boiled over into a heated confrontation, raising the question: is she wrong for demanding respect for something so dear?

‘AITA for yelling at my husband to stop calling me Grandma?’

Hi, I F39 have been unemployed for 3 months, I had plenty of free time so I took on sewing . I love sewing and I've learned some skills from my deceased mom as this was her favorite hobby, later her way of making a living as a single mom of four.

My husband (37) started teasing me about sewing calling me stuff like 'Granny' 'aunt grandma' or 'Grandma' and it's annoying AF. I told him I didn't appreciate the way he is mocking my deceased mom's hobby and calling me grandma all the time.

He's answer is 'nah I'm just messing with ya' or 'I'm teasing ya'. I could barely take it when he does it at home between us but yesterday we had formal guests over from his work and when I came to greet them (I dressed properly for the occasion) my husband sarcastically introduced me as ' grandma ',

and said I spend my time sewing like an old lady which he called 'weird' when one of his colleagues asked what I do and they laughed. I felt upset and embarrassed. I excused myself to the bathroom and didn't return. The guests later left and I blew up at my husband saying I didn't like how he kept calling me grandma in front of his colleague's and that its gotten too far.

He said I was too uptight and couldn't take a f**king joke and that I embarrassed the hell out of him by leaving him and the guests like that just because he called me 'Grandma'. I yelled at him to stop calling me that and went to the bedroom. Today he brought up how messed up my reaction was and said I'm being over the top dramatic.

I told him I don't like when he makes fun of something I consider precious since this is what mom used to do and he shrugged and said ' mom is not here so she won't know about my 'potential' insults towards her' then left. He's hinting I apologize for reacting this way but I won't. I think I'm might be oversensitive and maybe if I stopped sewing he'd stop calling me grandma. He also said that it was a turnoff when he sees me sew.

The sting of being mocked for a cherished hobby cuts deeper when it’s tied to a loved one’s memory. The woman’s husband crossed a line by dismissing her feelings and humiliating her publicly. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Contempt is the greatest predictor of divorce, as it erodes respect”. Here, the husband’s sarcasm and refusal to apologize reflect a lack of empathy, signaling deeper relational issues.

The wife’s sewing is more than a hobby—it’s a tribute to her late mother, a single parent who supported four children through this craft. His “Grandma” jibes belittle her grief and identity, while his public comments amplify the disrespect. This behavior hints at a power imbalance, where one partner’s amusement trumps the other’s dignity. Studies show that 69% of relationship conflicts stem from unresolved issues like these.

The broader issue here is emotional invalidation, where one partner dismisses the other’s feelings, often rooted in gender stereotypes. Sewing, unfairly labeled as “old-fashioned,” faces mockery, reflecting subtle sexism. The husband’s claim that it’s a “turnoff” further devalues her autonomy.

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Advice: The wife should set clear boundaries, calmly reiterating that the “Grandma” comments are hurtful. Couples counseling could help address underlying disrespect. She should also lean into her sewing community for support, reinforcing her confidence in her craft.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s finest didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of wit and wisdom. Here are some spicy takes from the community—candid and unfiltered.

Knkstriped − NTA - does your husband often insult you, bully you, put you down in front of others then get mad that you’re upset as a result? Is it common for him to claim to have been ‘joking’ when his abusive behaviour is pointed out? Because if so - a)major yikes and b)he’s unlikely to change. You deserve better.

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It doesn’t sound like he sees you as a whole human with feelings, but just an extension of himself. 🚩. Also, what’s with the sexism and ageism? Grandmas are awesome, and so is sewing. Edit: wow this blew up while I was elsewhere, thank you for the awards, kind strangers!

Saberise − What no one seems to be even picking up is he told her it was weird and a turnoff that she sews. And made light of the fact that her deceased mom isn’t there to see him insult it. That makes it much worse than just calling her grandma. That stakes to to the next level. Most definitely NTA but OP I don’t see his view changing.

dodo_273 − Start calling him grandpa. If he is married to a grandma, that's what he is. See how he likes his own medicine.. If they ask why, tell them 'well, there are things, you know'. He will not like that.. ​. Tell him you will stop as soon as he behaves.. ​. He is an AH. NTA

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Comfortable-Cup-7925 − NTA, your husband sounds awful

Myabyssalwhip − NTA. This is extremely toxic and he’s trying to make you feel guilty because he’s being mean. Couples joke around all the time, and sometimes it goes to far, but a good partner recognizes when what they said was hurtful, and makes an effort to stop it. This is a big red flag, and you should consider if this is something you want to deal with long term.

WallabyInTraining − NTA. Its not a joke. It's insulting and cruel, especially considering it is a fond memory of your mom and something you share with her. The fact that he hasn't apologised is concerning by itself, but him gaslighting you into trying to make you believe it somehow was *you* who crossed a line is horrible and borderline abusive.

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Is this the first time he has disregarded and steamrolled over your emotions and concerns? Because this usually is a longer established pattern. He doesn't care about your happiness and that alone would be reason enough to reconsider the relationship.

HerderOfWords − NTA. *Your husband hurts you for his amusement*. I wouldn't stay married to a sadistic, misogynistic ass like that.

yonanano − NTA. Your husband is a d**khead. Enough is enough. If it hurts your partner and they've expressed it multiple times why do you still do it? It's not funny and it's so childish and he has the audacity to call you overdramatic? ***PLEASE.*** That's the shittiest thing I've read all day. If someone doesn't like it then shut the f**k up even if you think it's stupid.

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blurrybyrdy − NTA. You are not being over dramatic. What he is doing is abusive. Even if his intentions are “just joking” once you make it clear the impact the “joke” is having on you, it is no longer appropriate to continue “joking” ESPECIALLY in front of people.

He is trying to make you feel bad for your reaction so that you can forget that he is blatantly ignoring your feelings every time he makes this “joke”. I personally do not believe you over reacted. Your emotions and reactions are valid, someone else doesn’t get to tell you how you should feel.

MurghanaFLR − NTA. You don't own him any apologies. He should be very sorry, it was inappropriate since the first time you said you didn't like the joke. Repeating it in front of guests is even worse. It's a lack of respect.

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These fiery opinions light up the thread, but do they cut to the core of the issue? One thing’s clear: the Reddit hive mind smells trouble in this marriage.

This woman’s stand against her husband’s mockery is a raw cry for respect, woven with the threads of her mother’s legacy. Her sewing isn’t just a hobby—it’s a lifeline. Should she apologize, or is her husband the one who needs to stitch up his act? What would you do if your partner belittled something precious to you? Share your thoughts below—let’s unravel this together!

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