AITA for wearing a bikini at a work event?

A 31-year-old woman found herself at the center of workplace drama after wearing an athletic bikini to a company retreat at a golf resort. What started as a relaxing poolside day turned into a heated debate about professionalism and double standards when her colleagues called her out.

The twist is, she thought her swimsuit was modest enough for the casual setting, but not everyone agreed. Beyond that, the situation raises questions about workplace expectations and whether gender played a role in the criticism she faced. Let’s dive into her story, explore the community’s reactions, and unpack the bigger picture.

‘AITA for wearing a bikini at a work event?’

The woman sets the scene for a fun weekend at a golf resort, a reward for her small firm’s success.

I’m 31. This was 2 weekends ago. I work for a rather small firm. There’s 12 employees total. Since we exceeded our yearly goals for 2022, we were treated to...

I don’t love golf but I can play. The owners are big fans. I’m also one of 3 women employed. I’m the youngest, the other 2 are a few years...

She takes some time to unwind by the pool, enjoying the resort’s amenities in her athletic bikini.

They also had a pool, tennis, gym, all the fun things a resort needs. On Saturday, I took some me time to lay out by the pool and have some...

Her choice of attire sparks unexpected criticism from her female colleagues at the outdoor restaurant.

The 2 other women told me it was “gutsy” to wear what I was wearing. I was wearing a rather athletic bikini. The bottom was full coverage and was almost...

The other 2 women told me that I should be old enough to know that was stupid. And they even accused me of wanting to show off to the men....

She questions her decision, clarifying she wore a cover-up during lunch, and wonders if she misjudged.

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Maybe I didn’t think this through. But I purposely bought this suit for this trip. I thought it was as plain Jane as can be. I mean.. is it very...

Because that was pretty much all that was different between my swimsuit and theirs is that my stomach was showing.. Are they assholes or am I missing something here?

Edit: I was not wearing the swimsuit at lunch. I walked up the the place in it and put my coverup on as we sat down..

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Edit2: the restaurant was outside and next to the pool. Nobody was “dressed up”

This situation highlights the conflict between personal expression and workplace norms, even in a relaxed setting. The woman’s choice of a sporty bikini—described as a skimpy bikini with full-coverage bottoms and a sports bra—may seem appropriate for a poolside setting. However, her co-workers’ criticisms reveal implicit expectations of professionalism, which may be amplified by gender bias in a male-dominated workplace.

Dr. Amy Diehl, an expert on gender stereotypes, notes, “Women are often judged more harshly for their appearance in professional settings, facing scrutiny for choices that men may not face” (Forbes, 2023). The accusations of “flaunting” by co-workers reflect a broader trend of sexualizing women’s bodies, even when the clothing is practical. Additionally, the workplace setting creates added pressure to maintain a “professional” image, even when not working.

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What makes things even more complicated is the timing of her bikini appearance. Her brief trip to the restaurant may have changed perceptions. Experts suggest three solutions: 1) Clarify the dress code for work-related events, 2) Communicate openly with colleagues to address misunderstandings, and 3) Balance personal comfort with workplace norms to avoid unwanted attention.

The issue here is navigating unwritten rules and gender stereotypes. Women often face double standards, while similar actions by men (like going shirtless) may go unnoticed. This highlights the need for clearer boundaries in the hybrid work-leisure environment.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The online community jumped into the debate with enthusiasm, offering a mix of support, criticism, and humor. Their reactions range from defending her choice to questioning her professional judgment, with some pointing out potential double standards.

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Some users rallied behind her, arguing the criticism was unfair and possibly sexist.

DruncanIdaho − NTA Everybody in here shaming OP for being an evil distracting female. Case in point: If Steven J Businessman had been swimming and walked up to the (outdoor)...

nobody would give a flying heck. But bc op is a female (and apparently looks good in a bikini) she "should have been more professional. " Hypocritical double standard sexist...

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[Reddit User] − YTA. You sound a lot younger than 31. A work event is still work, and all work policies remain in force.

As three quarters of the group were male, the other two women may have felt you were trying to be s__ual or provocative in the sort of way that ends...

Others felt her choice, especially walking to the restaurant in a bikini, crossed a professional line.

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KitKatAttackkkkkk − YTA. You should have changed into more professional clothes to rejoin everyone for lunch. Or at least throw on a sundress coverup.

Your swimwear would be appropriate if it was a company yacht party or pool party, but you were clearly the odd one out wearing just swim attire to lunch. Just...

This_Grab_452 − YTA You should have covered up before you entered the restaurant. It’s not about the suit you were wearing, it’s about wearing any bathing suit while entering a...

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[Reddit User] − NTA at all. I'm an older woman. And I believe if men can expose their torsos so can women without it being a freaking thing.

A few users brought humor or sought clarification, keeping the tone light.

[Reddit User] − NTA. I personally couldn’t bring myself to wear a bathing suit on a work trip at all lol, but that doesn’t mean other people have to adhere...

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Edit: wait you wore the swimsuit *to lunch* …? Yea YTA lol. Swimsuit covers exist for a reason. Would you show up to lunch in your sports bra and underwear?...

Edit again: I understand she was wearing a cover. She walked in without it and put it on at lunch. I understand that, you guys can stop telling me lol....

whynot246810 − Why the heck did you put clothes on at the table and not before? You draw a lot of attention getting dressed at the table than if you...

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Honestly, I wanted to know why she waited to get dressed at the table instead of after lounging by the pool.

cbm984 − NTA but. .. I would be careful in the future. These are your work colleagues and keeping a mostly professional vibe should always be expected even when doing...

But then your coworkers might be thinking about you wearing string bikini from now on even when you're in the office. I'm not saying what you wore is inappropriate because...

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But, personally, I wouldn't want my boss (or any other coworkers) picturing me in anything revealing when we're back at work. When you're doing anything remotely work related, even if...

rbrancher2 − INFO: You wore the bikini to the lunch with your coworkers? If so did you have a coverup?

mutualbuttsqueezin − NTA, but I don't think this was a good choice professionally.

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The woman’s poolside moment turned into a workplace controversy, highlighting the blurry line between personal freedom and professional expectations. While she felt her athletic bikini was appropriate for a casual resort setting, her colleagues’ reactions suggest differing views on what’s acceptable, possibly influenced by gender dynamics or workplace hierarchy. At the same time, her clarification about wearing a cover-up during lunch shows she aimed to balance comfort and propriety.

What do you think—did she cross a line, or were her colleagues too quick to judge? How would you navigate a work event with a casual vibe? Share your thoughts below!

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