AITA for bringing my daughter back to Pakistan?

A 52-year-old father moved his family back to Pakistan from the UK, rejecting the chance to stay longer or choose Canada, primarily because he preferred life in his home country. His two teenage daughters, now 16 and 18, strongly opposed the move, wanting to secure permanent residency in the UK for better future opportunities.

What complicates the situation further is the timing: the father refused to wait just a few extra months for his daughters to gain Indefinite Leave to Remain status, which would have allowed the elder one access to lower university tuition fees. Now facing much higher international student costs or studying elsewhere, the 18-year-old is furious, reigniting family tension over a decision that prioritized the father’s comfort over his children’s long-term prospects.

‘AITA for bringing my daughter back to Pakistan?’

A father from Pakistan relocated his family to the UK but later chose to return home despite his daughters’ wishes.

I (52M) have a wife (48F), and two daughters (16F and 18F). Some years back we got the opportunity to move to both the UK and Canada and I chose...

After a few years there, I decided I preferred my life in Pakistan and decided to move my family back and not renew my visa or apply for indefinite leave...

His daughters pleaded to stay longer in Britain to secure residency status before the move.

My daughter's really wanted to stay in Britain and wanted me to wait till they they had ILR status which would have taken a few more months.

Now my elder daughter will be going to university soon and she is angry with me again because universities in the UK are more expensive for internationals and she doesn't...

I told her she can go in Pakistan itself or Malaysia as there are good universities here for what she wants to study.

She also said I should have gone to Canada instead as then theoretically she would already have had the residence status. AITA here?

The father defends his choice, emphasizing minimal disruption to education and his role in providing the opportunity.

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I did everything to not disrupt their education, they go to a school that does the same qualification as UK schools (A Levels).

It was my choice to work in the UK and they were dependents so if it weren't for me there would not have been any opportunity for them in the...

This story centers on a parental decision that profoundly impacts children’s futures, highlighting the tension between a parent’s authority and the evolving independence of teenage offspring. The father’s unilateral choice to return to Pakistan reflects a common immigrant experience—homesickness and cultural preference—but it overlooks the significant advantages his daughters gained in a Western country, particularly in education and gender equality.

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Counterarguments might focus on parental rights: as the visa holder and provider, he enabled the move abroad in the first place, and families often follow the breadwinner’s lead. Suggestions like studying in Pakistan or Malaysia are practical from his viewpoint, preserving family unity and cultural ties. Yet, refusing to delay even briefly for ILR appears inflexible, potentially limiting options without clear necessity.

On a wider scale, such conflicts reveal generational and cultural divides in immigrant families. Daughters raised partly in the UK likely internalized values of individual choice and opportunity, especially for women, contrasting with traditional expectations in Pakistan. These moves can exacerbate gender disparities, as commenters noted concerns over rights and safety, underscoring how relocation decisions carry long-term societal implications beyond personal preference.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Many users strongly criticized the father, viewing his decision as selfish and detrimental to his daughters’ futures.

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OneExamination5599 − YTA, that's selfish. You really couldn't have waited a few months to give your kids as many opportunities as humanly possible?

CrimsonKnight_004 − YTA - This was a big decision you made on your own. It completely disrupted their lives and gave them severe hurdles just because you decided you wanted...

You did this completely based on your own wants, rather than your children’s needs. You couldn’t even wait *months* for your kids to get the ILR status.

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It sounds like you don’t care about the opinions, wants, needs, and feelings of your daughters at all. It’s all about you.

Purplefox71 − Are you serious? Of course YTA Let's see living in Pakistan or in the UK or Canada? That is really a hard choice, are you kidding?

You deprived your daughter from a great education and a dignified existence. We all know how women are treated in Pakistan.

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soap---poisoning − YTA, but you already know that. You intentionally dragged your daughters back to a place where they will have fewer rights and limited opportunities.

[Reddit User] − YTA because I’m positive you’re moving back there so you have more control over them. YTA for not waiting until after university started.

tidderhs − YTA. Mate I'm from the UK and I don't really understand why you would ask a bunch of westerners on reddit this because the thought of living in...

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ESPECIALLY women and girls in an Islamic country! Nobody here is going to be nominating you for father of the year.

I feel immensely sorry for your daughters. You've almost certainly condemned them to a worse life than they could of had here or in Canada.

Some commenters highlighted specific concerns like control, education costs, and factual discrepancies.

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SnooFoxes5460 − "Pakistan does not allow dual citizenship and if I became a citizen of Britain I would have to revoke Pakistani citizenship.

php And I know many people in Pak have dual citizenship. I find it a little hard to believe that you are unaware of this as immigration is quite common...

BananaPants430 − YTA. A few more months would have opened up many more opportunities for your kids.

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Frankly, it sounds like you actively wanted to prevent them from staying in the UK where they would have more (and better) educational options and face less bias, discrimination, and...

A couple of voices added pointed observations about gender dynamics and parental priorities.

No_Service2135 − YTA, you uprooted your family for your own wants with no consideration for your daughters feelings

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Dance_Sneaker − YTA. You considered your daughters future less important than your “preferred life” in Pakistan. So much so you couldn’t wait a few months? Of course you love living...

Ultimately, the father exercised his authority to return home, valuing his own preferences and family unity over his daughters’ desires for expanded opportunities abroad. While he minimized educational disruption, the move has created lasting resentment and practical challenges, particularly around university access.

How would you handle a major family relocation when opinions differ sharply between parents and teenage children? Do parents always have the final say on such life-changing decisions, or should older teens have more input when their futures are directly affected?

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