AITA For Wanting My Son to Pay Me Back After He Ruined My Credit?

We all know that moment when a favor for a loved one backfires spectacularly. For one single mother, a generous attempt to help her adult son secure a vehicle turned into a financial nightmare that tanked her credit score.

She had set clear boundaries, but when the car was repossessed without her knowledge, she was left footing the bill while her son splurged on weed and guitars. Want the juicy details? The full story is right below.

AITA For Wanting My Son to Pay Me Back After He Ruined My Credit?

AITAH for wanting my kid to pay me back some of the money he owes me after he ruined my credit?

The groundwork for disaster is laid in the opening lines, highlighting the gap between clear parental expectations and the reality of co-signing.

My son had me co-sign for a car. I should’ve known better. The deal was if he was going to miss a payment for any reason to let me know...

A classic case of financial betrayal unfolds, where the son’s silence directly damaged her financial standing.

He missed so many, and didn’t tell me until it was repossessed. My credit took the hit. I’ve also been buying diapers and other things since then.

The tension peaks here: the son has money for hobbies, but none to repair the damage he caused his mother.

He now has a stable job, but is buying guitars and weed. Would I be the AH if I told him he needs to start paying me some money towards...

I do carry a lot of guilt because I was a single working mom, and also cared for my mom, too. It was hard on both of us. And yes,...

Reading about this mother’s struggle with her 27-year-old son perfectly illustrates the complex intersection of parental guilt and adult accountability. From an empathy lens, the mother’s lingering guilt over being a busy single parent is clearly driving her to enable her son’s irresponsibility.

She co-signed the loan out of love, but his response—demanding she drop the issue because he feels bad—is a manipulative tactic to evade responsibility while funding his lifestyle. According to financial psychology experts, co-signing for family members often leads to strained relationships when boundaries are breached.

ADVERTISEMENT

The mother needs to recognize that protecting her son from the consequences of his actions is hindering his maturity. A practical first step would be to firmly stop subsidizing his life—no more buying diapers or covering his expenses—and establish a formal, written repayment plan for the car debt.

Community Opinions

Reddit came in hot, nearly unanimous in supporting the mother while urging her to stop enabling her son’s behavior.

u/knight_shade_realms According to the edit: "he already feels bad enough and you should drop it" Excuse me? If he felt as bad as he claims he would have already been...

ADVERTISEMENT

u/Due_Bit_4617 Wait wait wait. He has a stable job, is buying guitars and weed (and has a kid?), but you're buying formula and other stuff? ESH. You did this. Stop...

u/BananaLemonLime He can feel as bad as he wants, but he needs to be an adult and take responsibility for his actions. The fact that you’re asking us is fing...

u/LawyerDad1981 Well to start with, "My son had me cosign..." No. It's "I CHOSE to cosign." NTA, but honestly he doesn't sound like anyone you're ever going to get a...

ADVERTISEMENT

u/Xalipu NTA. He apparently doesn’t feel bad enough if he’s not willing to make reparations to you over this, instead of blowing it on luxuries.

u/Lower-Elk8395 I read the edit, and are you serious? He said you should drop it...did somebody drop HIM as a baby for him to think he could say that? NTA....

u/SavingsRhubarb8746 NTA for telling him to pay back the money you had to pay because he didn't meet his obligations. You can (and probably should) refuse to pay for anything...

ADVERTISEMENT

u/KayDeeFL Drop it? Nah. He pays you back every cent he owes. Put him on a payment schedule just as if you were a bank. His disrespect for you and...

u/Cthulu-lulu NTA if you bail him out, you create a pattern that he will never learn responsibility.

u/Secret-Lingonberry28 NTA You set the parameters about the vehicle l, very reasonable might I add. At this point you might have to take him to small claims court if he...

ADVERTISEMENT

u/Full-Wolverine-3994 You would absolutely not be the AH for telling him he needs to start paying you back. He feels bad. That’s great, but he needs to pay you back....

u/FacetiousTomato NTA If he "felt bad enough" already, he would be paying you back. That is what the "enough" means in that sentence.

u/Lopsided_Ad2082 Nta. He knew the rules. He definitely needs to pay you back

ADVERTISEMENT

u/Any_Art_1364 NTA, if he genuinely felt bad he would be paying you back without you asking. Does he live with you? If so tell him he has to pay towards...

u/jdo5000 YTA to yourself for letting him walk over you like this already. Time for matey boy to pay up.

A few commenters reminded everyone that true remorse involves making amends, not just feeling guilty.

ADVERTISEMENT

The line between supporting a child and enabling bad behavior is often blurred by parental guilt. Do you think the mother should enforce a strict payment plan, or did she bring this upon herself by co-signing in the first place? And how would you handle an adult child who prioritizes hobbies over repaying a significant debt? Share your hot take below!

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *