AITA for charging my Aunt and Uncle to babysit my little cousins?

What happens when helping family turns into a full-time unpaid job that blocks your own future? An 18-year-old found herself trapped in exactly that spot, caring for young cousins daily while her own plans stalled.

She asked for modest pay to continue, sparking outrage from relatives who saw it as greed. The fallout exposed deep divides over expectations, fairness, and what “family help” really means in practice.

‘AITA for charging my Aunt and Uncle to babysit my little cousins?’

The background sets the daily routine in motion.

So I (18F) routinely babysit for my Aunt and Uncle as they both work a lot, I currently babysit their children: (1M and 1F) and (8M) five days a week...

the older cousin is in school for most of those hours so he's not so much trouble I just need to pick him up and ensure he has dinner and...

The request for payment changes everything.

I recently told my Aunt and Uncle that as this is severely cutting into my ability to look for a job and start making my own money that I could...

and much cheaper than paying a stranger to take care of the kids we're family after all I didn't want to overcharge. They also make good money so this would...

Tensions explode during the confrontation.

It seems however this was a mistake as my Aunt blew up about how entitled I am and how you don't charge family to babysit and began to rattle off...

I pointed out that taking care of two one year olds I have basically no time to go on the wifi and that I can't eat their food and have...

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The public backlash adds fuel to the fire.

My Aunt has now taken to Social Media to rant about how spoiled and entitled I am and how she's not going to pay someone for the easy job of...

My parents are now up in arms over this defending me and my Mum is not talking to her sister. I just feel awful for causing this family drama, should...

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The core conflict stems from mismatched views on family obligations versus fair compensation. The young woman provides 60 hours of weekly childcare, limiting her job search, while her aunt and uncle rely on this arrangement without cost. Emotions flared when payment entered the discussion, highlighting boundaries and perceived entitlement on both sides.

Fear drives the aunt’s reaction, possibly worrying about finances or losing control over free help. The niece feels guilt for disrupting harmony but seeks independence. Communication broke down as assumptions replaced open talks, leaving empathy absent and resentment building.

Relationship researcher Dr. Sue Johnson explained that “Secure bonds require mutual respect for needs, not sacrifice without acknowledgment” (Emotionally Focused Therapy Institute, 2020). This fits perfectly—ignoring the niece’s time eroded trust, turning support into exploitation.

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Start with a calm private conversation outlining specific hours and rates based on market values. Set weekly check-ins to discuss adjustments without accusations. Reflect on personal goals first, then respond, ensuring boundaries protect everyone long-term.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Social media users weighed in heavily on this family standoff, splitting into clear camps with strong feelings about labor and fairness.

Many readers backed the original poster fully. They highlighted the intense workload and urged immediate change.

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indiajeweljax − NTA. Stop babysitting immediately. 12 hours a day, 5 days a week? For free? She’s smoking crack. Tell her SLAVE DAYS ARE OVER. You’re not even a

babysitter—you’re a full-blown nanny working overtime for free .99! Don’t even accept the 80£ when she changes her tune and realizes what REAL babysitting rates are. Get a job. Earn...

ETA: I’ve lived in London—I bet they’re going to the pub a few hours every day after work before coming home, leaving them virtually no time with their children. These...

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SECURITY! ETA AGAIN: Not one person here has rated you the a__hole. Not even the trolls. That should tell you something… INFO: What do you want to do for a...

Before you started working for free, what did you want to do with your life? You’re at the age where you need to think about yourself. Your future. Your finances....

You’ll look back and wish you’d furthered your own life instead of helping further theirs. Lastly, the concept of family is overrated. You’re going out of your way to help...

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BessertQween725 − NTA. Childcare is expensive and they are taking advantage. I never charged my sister but she also usually gave me pizza money booze and I did it like...

redditisthebest710 − Nta - 12 hours a day 5 days a week is insane. That's way over a full time job for nothing. Instead, 80$ a week let her pay...

Edit: OP I promise she's gonna fold and offer up the 80$ and I strongly advise you decline. What is a 18 year old gonna do with 80$ a week...

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Reenvisage − NTA. I looked up babysitting rates in the UK (guessing that’s where you are). The rates run from £8-£15 per hour.

For twin babies, that would probably be at the higher end. So they should be paying someone about £900 per week. Don’t accept any less, or better yet, don’t work...

dragstermom − NTA. You should have never done it for free. Your Aunt has been taking advantage of you, and now is angry you will no longer allow her to...

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Critics targeted the relatives’ expectations. They stressed market rates and exploitation.

[Reddit User] − You're NTA, your Aunt is. She's saving buckets of money by saving by exploiting you. If she doesn't want to pay you, tell her to see what...

TheUtopianCat − NTA. You weren't a babysitter, you were a full-time nanny, and that is a job that you should get paid for. Your aunt is the entitled person for...

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That's just audacious. You were being exploited. FWIW, my son occasionally babysits my niece and nephew, and he always gets paid. My brother and SIL are decent people.

bluegeocachingmonkey − NTA. Your relatives are getting free childcare for 60 hours a week, and they’re saying you’re entitled? Oh, hell no. Tell them good luck finding someone else to...

A few raised practical questions or shared experiences. They focused on sustainability and responses.

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MaddyKet − I don’t understand what you do for money. Do your parents pay your bills? So basically your mom is paying for her sisters kids.

I don’t understand how you could work 12 hour days / 5 days a week FOR FREE and have that be sustainable. You are 18, you need a livelihood.NTA and...

[Reddit User] − NTA. 12 hours a day for free? ? Why do they even have kids? ? 80 pounds is not nearly enough. Either they pay you something in...

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moderatelywhelmed − $16 A DAY? You're willing to babysit two kids for $16 a day. .. which to clarify is $1.34 an hour? NTA.

SpeedBlitzX − Info let me get this straight you're babysitting their kids 5 days a week 12 hours each day for free and they're claiming you're spoiled for wanting £80...

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[Reddit User] − NTA I nannied for my sister for a year and she paid me just about what she would have paid to put her kid in daycare because...

If you're asking under what it would actually cost them, it would still work out in their favor. Clearly they are the entitled ones. I hope you can start looking...

Dye_Harder − NTa my Aunt blew up about how entitled I am "You are the one who thinks they are entitled to 60 hours of free labor a week. "...

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I was eventually told to get out. "No problem. " I just feel awful for causing this family drama You did not cause drama, your entitled aunt and uncle did.

RainCityMomWriter − Um, NTA in a major way. It's one thing to babysit every once in a while for free, it's completely another to do it as a full time...

This situation shows how unpaid family help can quietly become exploitation, especially with demanding schedules. Valuing your time early prevents resentment and protects relationships built on mutual respect.Readers can learn to set clear boundaries from the start, treating childcare like any job regardless of blood ties. Fair pay acknowledges effort and allows everyone to thrive independently.Would you demand payment right away in a similar setup, or offer a trial period first? When does family favor cross into unfair labor?

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