AITA for refusing to let my friend open a Tinder account using my phone number?

What do you do when a friend crosses a line without asking? A woman was stunned when her old friend tried using her phone number to dodge a Tinder ban, sparking a heated clash. Was she too harsh for shutting him down, or was she protecting herself from his shady moves? Social media has plenty to say, and the verdict might surprise you.

This tale of trust, boundaries, and questionable motives hits hard. From sneaky texts to bold refusals, it’s a drama that unveils the complexities of fading friendships. Let’s unpack this wild story and see why it’s got everyone talking.

'AITA for refusing to let my friend open a Tinder account using my phone number?'

The drama kicked off with a mysterious text that caught the poster off guard.

My friend was banned from Tinder a few years ago. When he told me about this back then, he said he contacted Tinder and wrote a lengthy email asking to...

which I found odd because I didn’t try to login to any google account anywhere recently. Shortly afterwards, my friend texts me that he tried making a google voice number...

Her friend’s bold move came out of nowhere, assuming she’d be fine with it.

Then thanks me and says he appreciates it before I even opened his text.

Sensing trouble, she pushed back, wary of his past ban and her linked accounts.

I responded by saying I can’t do that because my google account is tied to my parents’ google family account. Then I tell him that I remember him mentioning he...

I think it goes without saying that he was somehow violating their terms of service. However, what I said to him was it sounds like you’re trying to circumvent the...

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His casual misogyny only deepened her unease about his intentions.

I think it’s worth mentioning he regularly refers to women as b*tches and can come off as rather misogynistic, which personally I find upsetting, disrespectful, and simply uncalled for.

When he doubled down, guilt-tripping her for not helping, tensions flared.

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Anyway, he tells me it was a ban that was unjustifiable, but on a deeper level, is a bit ashamed at my attitude because some big corporation banned him, he’s...

Over something that was equally unjustified? He says. Then tells me he’s equally ashamed I’d even remotely call him out on that and take their side and not be a...

Their once-close bond had faded, making his request feel even more out of line.

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Him and I live on opposite sides of the country, and last saw each other 5 years ago. We occasionally talk on the phone, but we’re not tight like we...

Determined to hold her ground, she offered advice instead of her number.

I have NO IDEA what specifically he was banned for, but imagine it must’ve been pretty bad. After politely telling him no, I suggested it might be worth reaching back...

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acknowledging what he did was wrong and why, explaining how he’s learned from it, and will make sure it never happens again, and then maybe ask if it’d be possible...

EDIT: For those assuming I haven’t called him out on how he talks about women, you are mistaken. I didn’t see it as relevant to my post in this particular...

he seemingly understood and supposedly is (was?) getting therapy. However, it’s been long enough where I don’t think he’s making a strong enough effort to change.. After reading thru the...

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This story reveals the tension between loyalty and personal boundaries in fading friendships. The friend’s attempt to use the poster’s phone number without consent is a breach of trust, especially given his Tinder ban and troubling behavior. His misogynistic language and refusal to respect her “no” suggest a lack of accountability, possibly linked to why he was banned. He may feel entitled to her help, but his manipulation—shaming her for not complying—raises red flags.

Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, emphasizes, “Trust is built in very small moments”. The friend’s actions erode trust, while the poster’s refusal protects her integrity. His defensive reaction may stem from embarrassment or a need to control the narrative, but it doesn’t justify his overreach. The distance in their friendship further weakens his claim to her support.

The poster could maintain her stance by calmly reiterating her discomfort, e.g., “I’m not okay with my number being used for this.” Blocking him, as she later did, is a valid step if his behavior persists. Exploring new friendships that align with her values could also help her move forward.

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This situation underscores broader themes of consent and respect in relationships. The poster’s decision to prioritize her boundaries over a shaky friendship highlights the importance of self-respect, especially when trust is in question.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Social media users overwhelmingly supported the poster, condemning her friend’s sneaky tactics and questionable character.

MissionHoneydew2209 − He used your number without asking you to circumvent a ban from Tinder, and thinks YOU'RE the AH? He'd have your number linked to whatever awful behavior got...

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phyrsis − NTA You say that you haven't seen each other in five years and that you aren't as close as you used to be, right? So now I’m wondering:...

ParagonOfAdequacy − **NTA** You **do not** want to get involved with this s__t, at all, ever. If you go along, I can pretty much guarantee he'll have some other fishy...

Queen_Sized_Beauty − INFO I think it’s worth mentioning he regularly refers to women as b*tches and can come off as rather misogynistic, which personally I find upsetting, disrespectful, and simply...

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pinkvictimxxx − "You getting laid is not my responsibility. Get a new phone number. " NTA

Some users offered balanced perspectives, noting the friend’s possible shame but emphasizing his manipulative behavior.

Violin_Diva − NTA. 1. He tried to steal your number without consent, almost like stealing a credit card or some other form of ID. You like those kind of friends?...

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3. Can you guarantee he isn’t hurting women on this site? You haven’t seen him in years, he could be mentally insane. 4. Why is he obsessed with Tinder? It...

5. If he does something wrong, it could follow you around for years. What if a new job wants to check out your social media? What if you ever want...

No one would believe you saying it was your friend, and even if they did, they would think you were extremely unintelligent in this matter at the very least. Your...

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Silent_Ad_8672 − Do not budge on this. NTA This feels so manipulative. You don't want his garbage coming back on you.

TheGoldDragonHylan − OP. ..what do you get out of this friendship? Consider all the things a person can do on social media, dating and like apps without getting banned. Now...

or anything like that; they want him out. Also, you get an ick from him in real life. Look, the end state of this situation goes one of two ways;...

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[Reddit User] − Unsolicited life advice. ..cut any guys out of your life who refer to women as bitches. They are not going anywhere positive in life.

[Reddit User] − Take a page from Tinder and ban this friend

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diminishingpatience − NTA. It's your phone number, not his. Absolutely not.

stroppo − NTA! If he's been banned he was likely doing something wrong. If he uses your number, \*you'll\* be the one getting in trouoble! Just say no!

Original_Magazine824 − I think your view on what friendship is might be askew. You're NTA, of course. He, on the other hand. .. I don't know if the TOS allows...

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A few injected humor, highlighting the absurdity of his request while reinforcing her stance.

PsychoApeMan − Hate to be one of those guys always going around correcting people's English, but you seriously need a paraphrase:

AITA for refusing to let **~~my friend~~** open a Tinder account using my phone number AITA for refusing to let ***some AH I used to be friends with*** open a...

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Rest easy man, 100% NTA Also: besides being an undeniable AH, your friend is a moron. In 7 years, he couldn't figure out how to get a new number for...

StAlvis − NTA Dude can get a burner, WTF?

This sneaky Tinder drama shows the cost of broken trust and the power of saying no. The poster’s refusal to let her friend use her phone number sparked backlash, but most agree she dodged a bullet. His shady move and troubling attitude raised serious concerns. Would you cut ties with a friend like this, or give them a chance to explain?

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