AITA for not allowing my mother in law to move in?

One evening, a young husband asked his wife to let his mother move into their cramped two-bedroom apartment, already home to their two young children. But after the mother-in-law caused chaos at his brother’s house by feeding their baby inappropriate foods, the wife firmly refused, fearing for her family’s space and safety.

This story explores the tension when family boundaries are tested and the strain of unrealistic demands. Was she wrong to protect her home, or was her husband right to want to help his mom? Let’s unravel this family drama to see what matters most.

‘AITA for not allowing my mother in law to move in?’

The husband’s sudden proposal to have his mother move in caught his wife off guard.

My husband (24m) came to me (22f) last night asking if his mother could move in .. I was confused because she told me about a week ago she was...

MIL currently lives with his brother (Caleb 27m) & his wife Tonya (26f) . She’s lived with him for about 6months but decided she wants to move out due to...

The mother-in-law’s actions led to a major conflict with her son’s family.

Tonya & Caleb have a son who was born 4 months premature .. he’s now thriving & hitting milestones . MIL babysits for them while they work & was feeding...

They had not introduced him to anything other than formula yet. So there was a huge fight between MIL & Tonya & now MIL wants to move out .. fine.

The wife worried about space and her mother-in-law’s behavior.

The issue comes in with my husband asking can she move in with us . The issue with this is we have two children (4months f) & (2y/o m) &...

if she were to move in with us our kids wouldn’t have a room.. my husband sees no issue with this as the baby sleeps with us anyways but that’s...

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I just bought a new bed & many other things for their room along with all of their belongings being in there . If she moved in I would have...

The wife doubted the mother-in-law’s ability to move out due to her spending habits.

Me & my husband had a disagreement about this because I don’t want her to move in due to these things & if she did it would be permanent ....

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it was $1975 a month plus utilities .. My husband says I’m being selfish & inconsiderate as his mother needs somewhere to leave & it’s just be temporary till she...

She’s not the most responsible person with her $$ .. For context she has a $40,000 vehicle that she makes payments on .. the car payments alone are close to...

not only that she’s constantly ordering things & buying clothes , designer bags , & other things that she cannot afford .. she gives $100 to her church every week...

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she goes on trips every few months .. all of this & the only income she has is uber .. so my question to him is where is the extra...

he doesn’t see my point but I don’t feel I’m wrong .. he’s not speaking to me at the moment so I guess I just really need to know AITA...

Refusing to let a mother-in-law move in is a tough call, but it raises critical questions about family boundaries and personal responsibility.

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The wife has valid concerns: their two-bedroom apartment is already cramped with two young children, and the mother-in-law’s history of overstepping (like feeding her nephew inappropriate foods) and reckless spending ($40,000 car, designer purchases) suggests she might disrupt their home long-term. Psychologist Susan Forward notes, “Clear boundaries are essential to protect personal space and mental health in family dynamics” (Toxic In-Laws).

The husband, while well-intentioned, overlooks the risk of a permanent stay and the strain on their marriage. His silent treatment shows a lack of mature communication.

The wife should stand firm, calmly explaining the impact on their children and relationship. Both need open dialogue, possibly with counseling, to navigate this. The mother-in-law should be encouraged to manage her finances better rather than rely on her children.

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Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Social media users rallied behind the wife, emphasizing her right to protect her family’s space and safety.

Many urged her to hold firm to avoid added stress.

Adelucas − NTA and make this your hill to die on.

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ColleenOS − Stand your ground. She already made your sister in law crazy by feeding her newborn foods that are unacceptable. Mil will destroy your marriage if she moves in.

gutsyradio13 − NTA. my husband one tried to convince me to move in with his mom to save money. i told him i’d get my own studio without him before...

YAreYouLaughing − Oh hell no! In a two bedroom apartment! With two kids as well! Just thinking about it I can feel the claustrophobia… Oh. Hell. No. This is the...

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Users highlighted her boundary violations and unreliability.

LouieAvalonMac − NTA Stop with the reasons and excuses Tell your husband there is no way your mom is moving in to my two bedroom apartment with us It won’t...

She turns up she’s not getting in If he cares more about his mom he can go live with her someplace He’s being incredibly selfish and immature with refusing to...

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Kajunn − NTA. Tell your hubs to consider this - If she's going behind your BIL and SIL's back with their child, she will do the same to y'all. Stand...

SamuelVimesTrained − Husband thinks she will leave? No - she`ll pull the same as she did with his brother - i would recommend he FIRST talk with brother and wife...

and he would allow a person doing that in a house with a baby roughly similar age? And how would that child be safe around a person ignoring all doctors...

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She can do airb&b, hotel, hostel, box under bridge - or he can rent her a caravan or whatever. NTA And for any long stay guests - 2 yes required....

Some criticized the mother-in-law’s spending and the husband’s silent treatment.

debbiewardx − Definitely NTA. And if it is forced on you she gets the sofa, you don't have a spare bedroom that's available.

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tinybuttempting − The silent treatment from your husband is a huge sign that he's not mature enough to handle this conversation. He's being a baby because he's not getting his...

hijabiexplorer − NTA. Stand your ground. She can live in her $40k car. If you and your husband insist, he can live in the car with her. I could understand...

What's to say she won't do the same thing here? Also, I could understand if she was genuinely struggling, but her irresponsible financial habits and decisions are not your problem.

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The online community nearly unanimously supported the wife, stressing that she’s protecting her family from an overstepping and financially irresponsible mother-in-law.

Protecting your family’s space and your children’s safety is a top priority. Clear boundaries and open communication are key to resolving conflicts, especially when facing unrealistic family demands.

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Have you ever had to say no to a family member to protect your household? How do you handle conflicts with in-laws without straining your marriage? Share your stories below!

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