AITA for purposely misgendering a colleague?

A 16-year-old trans boy (FtM) started a summer job and didn’t announce his transition upfront, only sharing when directly asked. After one coworker learned he chose his own name, everyone knew, and the teen offered to answer questions. For the first month things were fine—coworkers used his correct pronouns.

Then one guy (X) started deliberately calling him “she” after learning he was trans—even though he’d used male pronouns before. Despite multiple corrections from the teen and others, X persisted. Fed up, the teen turned the tables during closing shift: he started calling X “Miss” and using she/her pronouns, mirroring X’s exact words back at him. Some coworkers laughed; others called it out of order. X confronted him, but the teen stood firm. Was this petty revenge justified, or did he cross a line?

‘AITA for purposely misgendering a colleague?’

The teen didn’t make a big announcement at work:

The misgendering started deliberately:

The retaliation during closing:

Workplace misgendering of a transgender minor is a form of harassment that can create a hostile environment and, in many jurisdictions, violate anti-discrimination laws protecting gender identity. Deliberate and repeated misgendering after clear correction—especially when the person previously used correct pronouns—demonstrates intent to disrespect rather than honest mistake. For a 16-year-old summer employee, this is particularly serious: minors in workplaces are entitled to extra protections, and employers have a heightened duty to prevent such conduct.

The coworker’s behavior—switching pronouns only after learning the teen was trans, then persisting despite multiple corrections—indicates targeted hostility, not ignorance. The teen’s response (mirroring by calling him “Miss” and using she/her) was a direct, non-violent way to highlight the disrespect and reclaim agency in a powerless situation. While not the most professional tactic, it effectively exposed the double standard and irony: the coworker demanded respect he refused to give.

However, intentional misgendering as retaliation risks escalation, workplace policy violations, and giving detractors ammunition to dismiss the teen as “unreasonable.” Better long-term strategies include calm documentation (dates, times, witnesses, quotes), immediate reporting to a supervisor or HR (if available), and requesting formal pronoun accommodation. In small or informal summer jobs without HR, involving a trusted adult (parent, school counselor) or labor authorities may be necessary.

The teen is NTA for defending his identity and boundaries. The coworker created the conflict; the teen merely reflected it. Those who laughed recognized the justice in the reversal. Those calling it “out of order” may prioritize superficial civility over the teen’s right to respect. Respect is non-negotiable—especially after explicit communication. The teen’s action, though imperfect, was a reasonable response to ongoing disrespect in a setting where he felt unheard. Formal reporting and support from family or LGBTQ+ resources would help protect him and ensure accountability moving forward.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit community overwhelmingly supported the teen (NTA), viewing his retaliation as a fair and humorous way to make the point that deliberate misgendering is unacceptable. Most saw the coworker’s behavior as malicious rather than accidental, and praised the teen for standing up for himself.

Most users called it a justified clapback – treating someone the way they treat you often drives the message home:

Many highlighted workplace harassment and urged reporting to HR or management:

A smaller group called it NTA but emphasized it was a one-time lesson, not a long-term strategy:

This incident shows how deliberate misgendering can quickly turn a workplace hostile—especially for a young trans teen. The coworker’s switch from correct to incorrect pronouns after learning the truth reveals malice, not mistake. The teen’s mirrored response, while not ideal professionally, was a direct, non-violent way to expose the disrespect and reclaim dignity.

What do you think? Was this a fair way to make the point, or should he have gone straight to HR/supervisor? Have you ever had to push back against repeated misgendering at work or school? Share below!