AITA for having no sympathy for my ex who’s about to be homeless?

A woman is grappling with her ex’s pleas for help as he faces homelessness after a seasonal job ends, leaving him without a place to stay. Having cheated on her with another woman while she was postpartum, he dismissed her pain and called her “crazy” for her reaction. Now, he’s turning to her for support, but she refuses to let him stay with her, prioritizing her newborn and her own healing. Her stance: he made his choices, and now he must face the consequences.

Reddit resoundingly backs her, urging her to protect herself and her child while emphasizing the ex’s accountability for his actions. Many suggest cutting contact and pursuing child support to secure her baby’s future. Is she justified in shutting the door on her ex, or should she offer compassion despite his betrayal? This story dives into the raw emotions of betrayal, boundaries, and parental duty.

‘AITA for having no sympathy for my ex who’s about to be homeless?’

OP’s ex moved in with his affair partner during their separation:

My ex took a seasonal job that came with housing while we were separated, and moved the woman he cheated on me with in with him. Now the job is...

The infidelity occurred during a vulnerable time for OP:

He did all of this while I had just had a baby, and called me crazy for the way I reacted while heartbroken and angry. But now he keeps crying...

After the way he did me, I won't let him stay with me at all, even if it means he will be completely homeless. My prerogative is, he made his...

OP’s refusal to house her ex is a justified boundary, rooted in self-preservation and the need to protect her newborn. His infidelity during her postpartum period, coupled with dismissing her as “crazy,” caused significant emotional harm. Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, notes that betrayal erodes trust, and rebuilding it requires accountability, not entitlement (The Science of Trust, 2011). The ex’s expectation of support despite his actions shows a lack of responsibility.

The Reddit community’s advice to pursue child support is sound, as it prioritizes the baby’s financial security. OP’s focus on her child over her ex’s plight aligns with her parental duty, especially given his failure to plan for stable housing post-job. His reliance on her goodwill ignores the pain he caused, making her refusal reasonable.

Cutting communication, as suggested, would protect OP from further manipulation. Using a co-parenting app ensures discussions remain focused on the child, avoiding emotional entanglement. While sympathy for his situation is natural, OP owes him no assistance, especially when his partner has a fallback option with her mother.

This story highlights the importance of setting firm boundaries after betrayal. OP should maintain her stance, pursue legal avenues for child support, and consider therapy to process her lingering pain. Open dialogue with her ex should be limited to co-parenting, ensuring her and her baby’s well-being remain the priority.

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Here’s how people reacted to the post:

The Reddit community stands firmly behind OP, applauding her for prioritizing her newborn and herself while holding her ex accountable for his betrayal. Below are all the comments provided, organized by theme to reflect the collective sentiment.

Many users validate OP’s decision to refuse her ex’s request, emphasizing that his actions have consequences:

That-Subject830 − NTA. He made his bed so he must lay in it. My advice is cut communication with him completely because he'll keep trying to get into your home...

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spaceylaceygirl − He fucked around, now he's finding out. Do not give him anything. He stabbed you in the back once, he'll do it again. You and your child are...

Loose_Employment_935 − You don’t want to house your cheating unemployed baby daddy? You monster! Let the dead beat lie in his own filth.

DescriptionFew6118 − Nta. Actions have consequences, which he needs to learn.

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ChildfreeAtheist1024 − NTA. No one is obligated to house their ex.

badmind88 − But now he keeps crying to me about his situation. "Aww, too bad, so sad. Good luck with that! Bye! !!" NTA.

Mira_DFalco − NTA Aside from the fact that he burned that bridge when he cheated and left, he's known all along that his housing was tied to his job, and...

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Several comments highlight the ex’s irresponsibility and entitlement:

Humble_Pen_7216 − NTA. Why isn't his AP putting him up at her mother's?

AdAccomplished6870 − NTA. To be an AH, you need to find out what bridge he is sleeping under and drive by it every morning, honking and waving. Which I think...

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CeeUNTy − Tell him that you have your hands full with one baby and can't handle another one. NTA.

Users strongly recommend pursuing child support and limiting contact to protect OP and her child:

Successful_Image3354 − I assume that the baby is his. Apply for a child support order ASAP, while you have an address where your lawyer can serve him with process before...

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NYCStoryteller − NTA. Mute him. Stop taking his calls. Everything goes to voicemail or text. Don't respond. Just copy the recordings/texts to a file that you keep for your attorney.

All communication goes through a parenting app approved by family court (assuming he's your baby daddy). Tell him that you're only interested in co-parenting-related discussions, and if he doesn't have...

then you will file for full custody and child support, and the court can decide whether or not he can have visitation. He's an ex. You have zero obligation to...

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WILD__CARD − lol NTA. Do NOT TAKE HIM IN. Also, I have a cousin in a similar situation who did not request child support... apparently, he cried every time she...

Well, she has the kids all the time, has no job due to the three kids, and is working in real estate (terribly). He, on the other hand, has a...

started a sucessful business together(and flaunt it on social media), takes annual vacations(again flauuuunt it), he has his toys, she is living with her retired parents, which are now basically...

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So they started working again. GET THE CHILD SUPPORT even if he doesn't pay now, it will garnish his wages in the future for your child.

One user warns OP to protect her home from potential intrusion:

Pitiful-Ad-9261 − If he’s desperate then I’d take steps to make sure he can’t break in and say he lives there.

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One comment distinguishes between feeling sympathy and taking action:

Hemiak − NTA. And for the record, having sympathy, and fixing his problem, are two different things. You don’t owe him either btw.

OP’s story is a stark reminder of the consequences of betrayal and the strength it takes to hold firm boundaries. Her ex’s infidelity and dismissal of her pain during her postpartum period left deep scars, and his current plea for help doesn’t erase his past actions.

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Reddit champions OP’s decision to prioritize her newborn and herself, urging her to cut contact and secure child support. Should OP soften her stance, or is she right to let her ex face the fallout of his choices? This raw narrative sparks debate on accountability, forgiveness, and protecting one’s peace. Share your thoughts below!

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