AITA for opening the curtains and eating breakfast in a shared room?

Living with roommates in university housing often means learning to compromise, but what happens when two schedules are completely opposite? One student found himself in that exact situation, waking up at a normal morning hour while his roommate was just going to bed at sunrise.

The conflict seems simple: a bit of sunlight versus uninterrupted sleep. Yet the emotional tension quickly escalated. With threats of retaliation and accusations of disrespect flying around, the situation left many online users divided. Is it unreasonable to want daylight at 8 a.m., or is shared living all about sacrifice?

AITA for opening the curtains and eating breakfast in a shared room?

The tension started with two very different daily routines

So for context I am living in a university residence. I share my bedroom with one other guy (two beds in a room). We also share the bathroom, but the...

Our room has a huge window, that let's in lots of sunlight, but we also have very thick curtains that practically make the room pitch black if closed.

Their sleep schedules could not be more opposite

Now, the problem is that my roommate and I have very different sleep schedules. I want to sleep between 10:30 and 11.30 pm and wake up between 7:30 and 8:30...

He on the other hand, goes to sleep around 6 am! To his credit, he doesn't make any noises or disturb me in anyway during my sleep hours. I try...

Morning routines became a battlefield over light and noise

He expects the room to be pitch black, absolutely no light. This makes it very hard for me to wake up, since I need sunlight in the morning to function....

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He is also quite sensitive to noises, so my basic movement wakes him up. He expects me to wake up, get out of the room and let him sleep till...

eat my breakfast and then leave all while having some light to work with! I tried to compromise by only opening the curtains a little bit, or using night lights...

The argument soon turned into a debate about fairness

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He argues that he respects my sleep schedule why I don't respect his. I argue that he is welcome to open the curtains or turn on the lights during the...

(after 8 am and before 11pm) but not within sleep hours. He has been threatening to not let me sleep if I don't let him sleep! Am I the a__hole...

I don't really want to bother him, but I also don't want to wake up and live in the dark in the mornings because this dude is too lazy to...

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He clarified that he was already trying to minimize disruption

P.S: Mind you, he already uses sleep masks, and I only open the curtains a little, maybe 10 percent. But he still gets up!. Edits: I live in Turin, in...

B. It's a freaking cloudy city, it's a little sunnier than London! So it's not like we are in Florida and I am making him tolerate direct sunlight at 11am....

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Roommate conflicts often stem from mismatched lifestyles rather than bad intentions. In this case, the issue is less about curtains and more about compatibility. When two people operate on completely opposite schedules, even basic routines like turning on a light can feel disruptive.

Sleep experts consistently emphasize the importance of consistent circadian rhythms. According to Dr. Matthew Walker, neuroscientist and author of Why We Sleep, “Sleep is the single most effective thing we can do to reset our brain and body health each day.” That said, irregular schedules can clash with shared living environments.

The roommate who sleeps at 6 a.m. may genuinely struggle with light sensitivity, while the early riser needs sunlight to regulate mood and energy. Both needs are valid. However, shared spaces require realistic compromise. Expecting total darkness until mid-afternoon in a shared dorm may stretch that balance.

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Practical solutions could include requesting a room change, using stronger blackout sleep masks, adding white noise machines, or setting clearly agreed-upon “quiet but functional” hours. University housing offices exist for this exact reason. Sometimes the healthiest solution is simply admitting that two people are not compatible roommates.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Many users believed the situation simply wasn’t sustainable

Situation-Mediocre − OP, go to university housing. State clearly that it’s “not a complaint” against your roommate, but as you’re on vastly different schedules it’s difficult to cohabitate,

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you both do your best, but it’s not working. Ask for a new room assignment. And yes, until the room change is available put your clothes for the next day...

and eat your breakfast in the kitchen (ensuring the bedroom door is closed). Edit: Wow! Thanks heaps for all the awards everyone.

2mankyhookers − Time to get a new room partner you two are not compatible

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doyousmellmel − Is it possible to ask for a new roommate? Your lives are literally the opposite of each other, that’s so difficult to work with! I don’t think you’re...

Unless he’s got work things during the night, his sleeping behaviour is out of the ordinary and he should definitely take extra steps to make sure he’s able to sleep.

Like if his mask doesn’t do enough, try more? Because it looks like you’re already trying everything you can without living as a caveman in the morning. He sounds impossible...

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Pure-Fox6434 − nor. this is really a incompatibility issue! honestly, just report it to your residence office,explain that you’ve tried to compromise

and it’s not working, ask for a room change. that’s exactly what they’re there for, and it’ll save you both a lot of stress

LilLatte − INFO: You have a kitchen and bathroom that are outside the bedroom, why are you not eating breakfast and doing your skincare in those rooms?

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Others felt the morning light crossed a line

CannibalismIsTight − YTA. Eat breakfast in the kitchen, do skincare in the bathroom (with the door closed), and don’t assume he’s lazy just because his sleeping hours are different than...

Urbanyeti0 − YTA, if he manages to work around your sleeping pattern without disturbing you then he’s right that you should reciprocate

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Throwaway-2587 − Could you not eat breakfast in the kitchen? Do your skincare in the bathroom? There are options that don't require opening the curtains and waking him up. Is...

Yes, but that is life with roommates. Have your clothes laid out where you can easily grab them and respect his sleep just like he has with you. That said,...

True-End6765 − Movement is okay but opening the blinds makes it so YTA.

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JuniorGuitar3001 − Hm soft YTA. This is what it’s like to have roommates. People have different schedules. His schedule is not your prerogative,

but you need to respect it within reason. You should make some effort like having breakfast in the kitchen, doing your skin care in the bathroom, etc.

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also I suggest having a fan running as white noise to cancel out the noise you might make getting ready since you mentioned he’s sensitive to noise

And some thought the expectations were unrealistic

SnarkyBanter − No one is the a__hole, you’re just two people who run on separate schedules stuck in a box together for the sake of saving money on your education...

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Heavy-Macaron2004 − Man wtf is happening here? ? Why are so many people insisting you're the a__hole for wanting to use your own room during normal hours? This is an...

Yeah it's unfortunate that roommate chose this weirdass sleep routine, but their bizarre antisocial choices don't mean that OP should be banned from using their own room during normal people...

When you make decisions to put yourself outside the norm, *you* need to be making accommodations for *yourself*, not demanding everyone else change their routines for you.

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Is he next going to complain about the people in the room next door making noise *during the daytime*? Does the entire building need to conform to his sleep schedule...

Why ain't this dude doing anything to protect his incredibly delicate sleep schedule, why's it all on you? NTA, you're doing a reasonable amount of accommodation

but asking you to be completely silent and invisible for half the damn day *in your own room* is absurd. Go to your housing people and inform them of the...

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They might not change immediately, but this will help protect you from backlash if your roommate decides that clanging cymbals at 2am,

is a reasonable response to you eating breakfast at breakfast time in your own room 🙄 Roommate needs to buy earplugs and a sleep mask.

Defiant-Split6756 − NTA he is being completely unreasonable with his sleeping hours, but I think the only workable solution is to find someone else with similar hours to you.

Angelf1shing − How is he getting to his classes if he only goes to sleep at 6am? At some point they’ll kick him out and your problem will be solved.

Anyway, you could reasonably eat your breakfast in the kitchen but you clearly need some light to wash and get dressed by. You can’t safely do that in the dark.

He’ll have to accept that there are standard sleeping hours and if he chooses not to follow those, he’s going to get some disruption. NTA.

politicalstuff − NTA. These comments are ludicrous. OP should of course make reasonable efforts to be considerate, but being forbidden to use his room for half of the waking day...

The roommate has extremely non-standard sleeping hours, and as such is the one who needs to figure it out. If he is that sensitive to noise and light, he needs...

OP should make reasonable efforts to be quiet and close the blinds when he leaves if the roommate is still asleep. It could be a good idea to talk to...

In addition to the academics, an important part of university is learning how to function in society and getting along with other people. Demanding everyone accommodate your 6 AM bedtime...

At the heart of this conflict is a simple truth: two very different lifestyles are sharing one small space. One needs morning light to function, the other needs darkness to sleep after sunrise. Neither request is outrageous on its own, yet together they clash hard. Sometimes being right matters less than being compatible. In shared housing, harmony often depends on matching rhythms as much as mutual respect. If you were in this dorm room, would you close the curtains or open them?

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