AITA for not wearing a bra when my bf told me too?

A 24-year-old woman has gone braless since her mid-teens, finding them uncomfortable and unnecessary for her small-to-medium build. She dresses casually in thick t-shirts, tank tops, jeans, or shorts—nothing revealing. When she started dating her 26-year-old boyfriend last summer, she mentioned it upfront, and he seemed fine.

Lately, as weather warmed up, he’s grown uncomfortable, worrying about other men looking and saying he doesn’t want to “share.” Past partners never minded, which upset him more. She’s explained her side but stands firm on comfort. Now she’s seeking perspectives on whether she’s wrong for prioritizing her preference.

‘AITA for not wearing a bra when my bf told me too?’

The choice to go braless has been longstanding and tied to personal comfort:

I (24F) have stopped wearing bras since 2016 so around 15- 16 years old. I never like them and found them so uncomfortable, so I decided to not wear them...

Anyways my bf (26M) has been having an issue with it lately especially since the season is become hotter. We’ve talked about it and he says that he does not...

He goes on about how I don’t want other guys looking at them and how he doesn’t want to share? I don’t know. I’ve explained to him that I’ve never...

He then asked me how my past relationships felt with this and I told him honestly. They’ve never had a problem with it or were bothered by it and some...

I’ve tried to explain my side and as much as I understand his pov, I just don’t want to wear them. So AITA? I just need a different perspective and...

She clarified common assumptions and shared an update:

Edit: I didn’t think it would cause lots of attention but it is Reddit. I’ve always read stories and debated on posting mine cause I know how ruthless some of...

Also another thing, I wear T-shirts and tank tops. Nothing revealing. My usual outfit is just a T-shirt and jeans/shorts. The shirts I wear are mostly thick material so no...

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I’ve had many people message me about that so thought I’ll answer it here. I think when people hear the word “braless” they think they must be wearing very revealing...

I prefer being comfy and if I do dress up I wear a dress but again some dress have think material on the chest area so it doesn’t show.

Again I have small/medium breasts they’re not huge (I do envy my big chest friends but I know it hurts) I think I was a 32B??? Back in 2016. Bras...

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We met and dated during the summer of last year. I did let him know right away about not wearing bras and he didn’t mind. I always tell anyone I’m...

Anyways we are gonna talk about it again when he comes home. He messaged first and apologized. So let’s see how it goes. I might use some of the suggestions...

Comfort in clothing is deeply personal what feels freeing for one might feel vulnerable for another. Bras, designed for support or modesty, aren’t universal necessities, especially for smaller sizes.

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Relationships thrive on mutual respect for bodily autonomy. When preferences shift after acceptance, it raises questions about control versus insecurity.

Societal norms around women’s bodies often fuel these debates, placing responsibility on women to manage others’ reactions. Open dialogue about roots of discomfort—like jealousy or past experiences—can build empathy without demanding change.

Compromise might involve understanding each other’s feelings deeply, but core comfort choices rarely yield without resentment.

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Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Online voices overwhelmingly said NTA, highlighting control issues and celebrating comfort:

Many noted the sudden change as a red flag and praised her consistency.

didyoushitmypants - NTA but it sounds like you two may not be compatible if this is a big issue for him.

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Time_Designer_2604 - NTA - he met you when you didn’t wear a bra but now that you’re dating all of a sudden he has an issue with it? He shouldn’t...

Mykona-1967 - NTA for those of us who could never be in public without a bra we secretly envy OP. Not having to wear a bra is the most freeing...

Ask any woman with large breasts what’s the first thing they do when they get home? The answer is take the bra off. Clothing is made for smaller women with...

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Those very same tops are never as appealing for those of us who have to wear a bra. If it bothers him that OP doesn’t wear a bra borrow a...

He’s not allowed to take it off or complain how uncomfortable it is, he’s also not allowed to spend the day at home. He has to run errands, do chores,...

When he says he doesn’t need to wear one because he’s not a woman and he doesn’t have breasts then you will know he will never stop hounding OP about...

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TampaFan04 - This falls under the whole. ... He started dating you when u weren't wearing a bra. Now he wants you to change? This is on him, not you....

Others stressed bodily autonomy and called out possessiveness:

ProgramEffective7955 - I had a similar issue with my partner out of the blue recently. Didn’t like me wearing a crop top with some shorts (albeit short shorts but i...

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I’d tell him what I told my boyfriend— it isn’t my problem if others can’t control themselves because of my body. i do what i am comfortable doing, and that...

it’s not his body. if he has an issue with people staring he better be saying something to them before saying something to you, because that isn’t your problem.

Hungry_Composer644 - There are a few reasons a woman might choose to wear a bra, and a few reasons she might choose not to. All of them have to do...

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Not the desires of men, the preferences of men, the insecurities of men, the lusts of men, the fears of men, the jealousies of men. None of it.

Decades later and we’re still dealing with guys like this. Wear whatever you want. It’s 2024, not 1824. He needs to grow up and learn to respect women as people...

Twenty-six is too young to have such outmoded opinions about women. Who raised him, for crying out loud?

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TKyzr - Buy him a six pack of man thongs and insist he begins wearing them since policing undergarments is ok. NTA.

TheWeenieBandit - So your boyfriend is jealous about the idea and the concept that your tits exist and some guy might look at them? And you said this man is...

Vegetable-Cod7475 - He doesn't "want to share? " You're not some possession, like a console controller. And your comfort is not secondary to his comfort. NTA.

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TarzanKitty - NTA Your boyfriend is super controlling. Your breasts belong to you. He does not own them and the “sharing” comment is just gross.

chibbledibs - NTA. Tell him to stop commenting on how you dress.

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CommunicationOk4707 - A good boyfriend doesn't TELL you. He ASKS nicely, and if your answer is no, he respects that. You do not have a good bf. Find a better...

sasheenka - I wish I had smaller boobs and didn’t need to wear a bra. NTA. Live comfortably.

grajuicy - NTA I mean, people are going to stare, regardless of the bra. That’s just how men are. You’re not doing anything wrong. Even if you were going out...

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[Reddit User] - NTA here but it sounds like the "control your woman" folks have got their worms in his brain. Probably gonna need to break it off if he...

What might it reveal when a partner accepts something early on, only to push for change later? How do we balance personal comfort with a loved one’s insecurities—does one outweigh the other? Consider the language of “sharing” or not wanting others to look: whose responsibility is it to manage those feelings? If roles reversed, would expectations feel fair?

As you prepare for that next talk (great he’s apologized first!), what outcomes would honor both your autonomy and the relationship’s health? Curious how it unfolds—what questions might you ask him to uncover the root? You’ve got this; reflection often lights the way.

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