AITA for asking my FIL to wear shoe covers or take his shoes off in our apartment?

A 31-year-old woman recovering from foot surgery set a temporary no-shoes rule in her small one-bedroom apartment to keep the light rug clean for home physical therapy. They provided a bench, shoe rack, slippers in various sizes, and disposable shoe covers for guests.

Everyone respected it except her father-in-law. On three visits, he refused to remove his boots or use covers, calling it “rude” and “demeaning.” The last time, he tracked mud in, forcing her to spend an hour spot-cleaning while in pain. After repeated arguments, she calmly told him: if he won’t comply, they can meet at his place or out for lunch. He left early, told her husband she “banned” him, and now her husband thinks she embarrassed his dad and should have let it slide for family harmony. Is she wrong for enforcing the rule and suggesting alternatives?

‘AITA for asking my FIL to wear shoe covers or take his shoes off in our apartment?’

The rule was set for her recovery:

Everyone complied except FIL:

After three refusals, she set a boundary:

This is a textbook boundary issue in family dynamics: the woman is protecting her health and home during recovery, while FIL sees the rule as a personal slight. Shoes-off policies are common in many cultures for hygiene (outdoor shoes carry dirt, bacteria, and chemicals), especially with light rugs and someone doing physical therapy on the floor.

From FIL’s perspective, being asked to remove shoes can feel like a loss of control or disrespect. But experts like family therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab stress: “Boundaries aren’t about controlling others; they’re about protecting your own well-being.” Offering multiple alternatives (covers, slippers, shoehorn) shows flexibility — his refusal is the problem.

Practical advice: Have your husband back you up and speak directly to his dad. A script like: “Dad, we love having you over, but the rug needs to stay clean for her PT. We’d appreciate if you could use the covers or slippers — it’s temporary.” If he still refuses, stick to meeting elsewhere. Your recovery and comfort come first — family harmony shouldn’t mean sacrificing your health.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The Reddit community overwhelmingly supported the woman, calling her NTA and shifting blame to her husband for not supporting her:

Most people praised the no-shoes rule as reasonable (especially in recovery) and criticized FIL’s entitlement and her husband’s lack of spine:

This story highlights how small rules can reveal bigger issues: respect for your home, support from your partner, and consideration during recovery. The woman offered every reasonable compromise, but FIL’s refusal and her husband’s “harmony” push made it worse. Most agree her health and boundaries come first.

What do you think? Would you enforce a no-shoes rule during recovery? Have you dealt with in-laws who ignore house rules? Share your take in the comments!