AITA for not forcing my son (11M) to like his step-sister (15F)?

The hum of a bustling theme park awaits a mother and her 11-year-old son, a well-deserved escape after a weekend gone wrong. Her autistic son, fiercely protective of his beloved Nintendo Switch, faced a clash at his father’s house when his new step-sister, a 15-year-old, accidentally smashed it down the stairs. The sting of that moment lingered, leaving the boy silent and unwilling to return to a place that felt unsafe.

Now, the mother stands firm, refusing to force her son into an uncomfortable situation, even as her ex accuses her of sabotaging their bond. With a broken Switch and bruised feelings, this family drama unfolds, raising questions about boundaries, autism, and what it means to prioritize a child’s comfort.

‘AITA for not forcing my son (11M) to like his step-sister (15F)?’

Navigating co-parenting with an ex who abandoned them years ago is tough enough, but add a new step-sister and a broken Switch, and things get messy. Here’s the mother’s story, straight from Reddit:

ADVERTISEMENT

I(29F) had my son(11M) with my ex. My son is autistic and does not like it when people touch his belongings. When I had him, my ex decided he didn't want to be a father and abandoned us. My parents were life-savors, they took care of him when I had to attend college classes. I work full-time now and live in a great apartment.

My ex reached out when son turned 8 and wanted to meet him. I brought him to a nearby park and we came to an agreement that son can stay with ex every other weekend. I bought my son a switch for his 8th birthday and he brings it with him everywhere. My ex has been seeing a girl for the past couple of months who has a daughter(15F).

My son came back home yesterday and didn't speak to me at all when I picked him up. I was extremely worried and called my ex when I got home. He told me that son wasn't letting girlfriend's daughter play on the switch and he grabbed it out of son's hand. Girlfriend's daughter dropped it down the stairs and it has a huge crack in the screen.

I went to talk to my son and told him that I would be happy to get him a new switch and any game that he wants. He was very happy and told me that he didn't want to go back to exes house because the daughfer was mean to him. I told him that I was not going to force him to do anything he didn't want.

ADVERTISEMENT

My ex wanted to take my son this coming weekend, I told him that we had plans to go to a theme park and that son didn't want to go over to the house. I told my ex that the daughter made son very uncomfortable.

My ex flipped out and accused me of keeping son away from him. I had enough at that point and hung up on ex.. AITA for not forcing son to like girlfriend's daughter? Edit: I do have full custody of my son and did suggest having ex come over to the apartment, but he refused.

A broken Switch is more than a cracked screen for an autistic child—it’s a breach of trust. The mother’s son, protective of his belongings due to his autism, faced a violation when his father forcibly took his Switch, only for it to be damaged by his step-sister. The mother’s decision to prioritize her son’s comfort over forced visits reflects her advocacy, but it’s ignited a firestorm with her ex.

ADVERTISEMENT

Autism often heightens sensitivity to boundaries, especially around personal items. A 2023 Autism Society report notes 80% of autistic children experience distress when routines or possessions are disrupted (Source). The father’s disregard for his son’s needs, paired with the step-sister’s actions, created an unsafe space.

Dr. Temple Grandin, an autism advocate, emphasizes, “Respecting an autistic child’s boundaries is crucial for their emotional security” (Source). Here, the mother’s choice to let her son skip visits aligns with protecting his well-being, though it risks escalating co-parenting tensions.

ADVERTISEMENT

She could propose supervised visits without the step-sister or seek family mediation to address boundaries. The father should replace the Switch and apologize.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit brought the heat, with users rallying behind the mother and throwing shade at the ex’s parenting. From practical Switch-saving tips to fiery calls for accountability, here’s the community’s take:

ADVERTISEMENT

TheBoaBunch − NTA. He’s being a d**k to your son, and abandoned you and your son eleven years ago. He doesn’t suddenly have a claim over him.

AspiringChild − NTA. That 15 year is old is a huge a**hole for trying to steal and subsequently breaking a child’s toy. She should know better. He’s also autistic, so she should be extra aware of being tactful. You said he doesn’t want to be around the daughter, not the father. His father can visit him without the daughter or have him over when she’s not there.

ADVERTISEMENT

catzrob89 − NTA. Your ex is trying to impress his new (potential) squeeze and is an a**hole.. Be careful about violating court orders and the long term impact that might have on you.

ShakenNotStirred915 − NTA. Your ex forcefully took something out of your son's hands, first of all. That's a BIG no-no. Secondly, your son has no obligation to stick around a kid who damaged their switch after demanding to use it to the point of having your ex basically steal it from your son for them to use.

ADVERTISEMENT

At least for now, the Switch should still be operable, but further incidents could worsen the situation.. That being said, BEFORE YOU GET A NEW SWITCH: Have the Switch profile your son uses connected to a MyNintendo account, if it isn't already.

By doing this, linking that same MyNintendo account onto a profile on the new Switch _should_ allow any digitally purchased games to be redownloaded onto the new device at no extra charge, and a link to the account on both the old and new device is required to transfer save data locally via 'Transfer Save Data' under 'Data Management' in the settings menu.

ADVERTISEMENT

Dimirosch − So your ex just wants to play happy family while catering to the new family but not his son?. This alone makes him the ahole.. Abandoning you and your son for 8 years makes him double the ahole.

With the fact in mind, that you ex had 3 years to understand that your son is autistic and therefore has special needs but still neglacting that, he scored the ahole-hattrick making him a tripple ahole!. Therefore my verdict: NTA.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA. Clearly this is going to turn into a whole situation. It sounds like your ex is attempting to spite you by how disregarding of son's feelings he is. He doesn't love that child. And this is gonna go south fast. The kid's feelings matter, good for you for letting him be comfortable. Don't make him go back.

WinterBourne25 − NTA- Did he make his step daughter apologize to your son? Also, he should have come over to your place, with you present, talked to your son. Edit: Your Ex is the one that owes your son a new Switch and an apology. Also, you’re right not to make him go over there again.

ADVERTISEMENT

errkajune − NTA. You have full custody. This absent father has no legal right to demand weekends. Continue protecting and listening to your son. Don’t let this man tell you what to do. And you’re not forcing your son to not like this father of one weekend current gf’s child…they did that themselves.

I am surprised you even allowed a weekend to begin with. He’s playing fake bc his current girl has a child and wants to act like he’s a father all of a sudden.

MeaninglessRambles − NTA. He’s allowed to not like someone, especially someone who crosses his boundaries. He doesn’t have to share his Switch if he doesn’t want to, considering you bought it for him. How versed is your ex in autism and your sons specific needs? I’d recommend a sit down between the two of you before he goes over again.

Icy_1 − NTA. Your job is to look out for your son. It’s someone else’s job to look out for a grown man and his girlfriend’s daughter.

ADVERTISEMENT

These Reddit opinions are loud and clear, but do they capture the full complexity of this family clash? Is the mother right to shield her son, or should she push for reconciliation?

This tale of a shattered Switch and strained family ties highlights the delicate balance of protecting an autistic child’s boundaries while navigating co-parenting drama. The mother’s standing by her son, but at the cost of clashing with her ex. Should she hold firm or find a middle ground? If you were in her shoes, how would you handle a step-sibling conflict with an autistic child? Share your thoughts and let’s dive into this heartfelt dilemma!

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *