AITA for not eating anything at thanksgiving dinner?

A vegetarian showed up to Thanksgiving dinner ready for simple corn and mashed potatoes, only to discover meat lurking in every single dish. The mother-in-law, already vocal about her disdain for the lifestyle, had laced even the potatoes with chicken broth, leaving the guest with an empty plate and a brewing family storm.

What followed was a quiet act of defiance: the vegetarian chose not to eat at all. The husband labeled it rude, sparking a rift that escalated into an update where he apologized and questioned his own parents. Alongside the drama, online voices weighed in with fire, humor, and solidarity, turning a holiday meal into a full-blown debate on respect and boundaries.

‘AITA for not eating anything at thanksgiving dinner?’

The holiday setup was straightforward at first.

I'm vegetarian. I'm perfectly happy having corn and mashed potatoes without a meat or meat substitute. I don't push my choice on anyone.

Tensions had been simmering for a while.

My MIL (who has voiced her negative opinions on my choice) put meat in everything and chicken broth in the potatoes. I opted out of eating at all. My husband...

Then came the unexpected turn of events.

Update: Husband said he feels bad about what he said and is upset with his parents for rejecting me like that. He doesn't know where his relationship will stand with...

Family gatherings often become battlegrounds for silent feuds, and this Thanksgiving sabotage highlights a classic power play. The mother-in-law didn’t just cook; she weaponized the menu to eliminate someone whose choices threatened her worldview. What’s more, the husband’s initial reaction shows how loyalty to parents can blind even well-intentioned partners to blatant disrespect in the moment.

At the same time, the update shows maturity: his apology and willingness to reexamine his relationship with his parents show that empathy can transcend familial ties. What makes things even more complicated is that the vegan calmly established boundaries—rejecting future contact without demanding that his spouse cut him off completely. This balance protects the marriage while also rejecting toxicity.

Society increasingly views dietary choices as a mark of identity, not just a preference. Dr. Harriet Lerner, author of The Dance of Anger, notes, “When we respond to disruption with clear boundaries rather than anger, we demonstrate self-respect and encourage others to grow.” The real issue here is that the conflict isn’t about veganism, but about control, respect, and who defines hospitality at the dinner table.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The internet didn’t hold back, serving up a feast of outrage, shade, and solidarity faster than you can say “pass the gravy.”

Team “MIL Planned This” wasted no time calling out the obvious.

The_Foe_Hammer − How do you even get meat into an entire thanksgiving dinner? Your MIL is an absolutely horrid host, and therefore the a__hole. At the least she could have...

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TheOutrageousClaire − overwriting old posts, sorry to any mods inconvenienced by this. this is being done as a measure for my safety.

SayceGards − I remember reading an /r/relationships post where a woman was in a wedding, allergic to almonds,and there were almonds in literally every dish at the wedding. It was...

[Reddit User] − Jeez, your MiL was being *really* passive-aggressive with that move, and your SO said that *you* were being rude for not eating anything? Not the a__hole!

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The “Husband Deserves Side-Eye” squad came in hot, ready to drag.

Aistadar − Woah wtf, your husband said YOU were being rude? That witch intentionally put chicken stock in the potatoes. Who does that? !? No, you are not the a__hole....

EHendrix − No your husband is the a__hole, if my mother did something like that we would have gotten up and left.

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Meanwhile, the “Been There, Brought My Own Tofu” crew kept it real and relatable.

logically − Not at all. My wife is a vegetarian too (I'm not). Rude of them :(

whodatdan0 − your husband is an even bigger a__hole than your mother in law

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thatsjuliette − You're definitely not an a__hole, or rude in the slightest. I brought a vegetarian dish myself this year to make sure I had something to eat - you're...

RudeNewYorker − Not an a__hole if she knew. My gf's brother in law cant eat onions, so her mom made 2 stuffings. A little overboard, but you get the idea...

At its core, this wasn’t about potatoes or principles—it was about respect, intentional exclusion, and where a spouse draws the line when family crosses it. The vegetarian held her ground without drama, the husband course-corrected, and the mother-in-law’s gambit backfired spectacularly.

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So, where do you stand when family “hospitality” turns hostile? Would you bring your own dish, walk out mid-meal, or stage a quiet protest with an empty plate? Drop your wildest Thanksgiving sabotage stories below—bonus points if gravy was involved.

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