AITA For not allowing my ex husband to move in with our son into my old home?

A mother refused to let her ex-husband move into her home with their son. After a psychotic break, her ex spent five years in a mental health facility, believing he and his sugar baby were divine figures. Now discharged, his doctors suggest he live with their 26-year-old son, who resides in her property. She declined, citing her role as a trigger for his episodes and her rights as the landlord.

Her son is willing to care for his father, but she worries about his unpreparedness and her inability to access her property safely. Reddit debates whether her refusal is selfish or a reasonable boundary. Was she wrong to block the move? How should she balance her son’s wishes with her concerns?

‘AITA For not allowing my ex husband to move in with our son into my old home?’

The couple divorced 16 years ago:

Their son lives in her home:

The mother’s refusal to allow her ex-husband to live in her home reflects valid concerns about her role as a trigger for his mental health episodes and her responsibilities as a landlord. Her ex’s severe psychotic break, requiring five years of institutional care, indicates a complex condition needing professional oversight. Her decision prioritizes her safety and property rights, especially since she was advised to avoid contact to prevent exacerbating his condition.

Her son’s willingness to care for his father is admirable but overlooks the significant burden of managing a serious mental illness. At 26, he lacks the training to handle medication non-compliance or potential relapses, which could strain their relationship and disrupt his life (Torrey, 2019). The mother’s concern about his unpreparedness is reasonable, as caregiving requires skills beyond love and good intentions.

As the property owner, she faces practical and legal challenges. If her ex’s presence prevents her from accessing the home for maintenance, it could lead to property damage or liability issues. Additionally, his mental instability could complicate tenant-landlord dynamics, especially if his episodes escalate. Her decision protects her financial and personal interests but risks straining her relationship with her son.

To address this, she should communicate openly with her son, explaining her concerns while supporting his desire to help. Exploring group homes or supervised living arrangements, as suggested by Reddit, could provide her ex with professional care. She should also consult his doctors to clarify the risks of her presence and advocate for alternative housing solutions. Family therapy could help align their goals, ensuring her son’s well-being while respecting her boundaries.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit supports the mother’s stance, slamming the care team’s impractical plan with vigor.

Many back her boundary as the property owner:

Some emphasize the son’s unpreparedness for caregiving:

Others question the care team’s proposal as impractical:

Some highlight systemic gaps in mental health care:

The mother’s refusal to allow her ex-husband, recently discharged from a mental health facility, to live in her home with their son balances her property rights against his care needs. Her concerns about triggering his episodes and her son’s unpreparedness for caregiving clash with his doctors’ request.

Reddit backs her boundary but highlights systemic care gaps. Was the mother wrong to refuse her ex-husband living in her home? How can families balance supporting a loved one’s mental health with personal boundaries? Share your thoughts below!