AITA for kicking my boyfriend out of my place after he demanded i apologize before speaking to him?

A 27-year-old woman, fresh out of a traumatic divorce involving domestic violence, found herself in another rocky situation just seven months into a new relationship. What started as casual fun quickly turned into full financial and emotional support when her boyfriend moved in—and things escalated fast.

She covered everything from rent hikes to groceries and even a second dog, while he remained mostly unemployed. When he turned cold and demanded she apologize for calling out his rude tone or else no communication, she decided enough was enough and gave him notice to move out. Now he’s claiming she’s abandoning him to the streets. Was she too harsh, or finally protecting herself?

‘AITA for kicking my boyfriend out of my place after he demanded i apologize before speaking to him?’

The relationship began innocently enough, with light dates and trips amid her ongoing divorce:

I'm a 27F and I've been dating my boyfriend 27M for 7 months. For context, I’m currently going through a long 1 year and half divorce due to domestic violence,...

When i met him i wasn't looking for a relationship but it just happened. My boyfriend knew about this from the start, and in the beginning everything was nice and...

Things shifted quickly when he faced eviction:

About two months in, he told me his family was being evicted and asked if he could move in with me. I live in a nice house that's a co-living,...

But I said yes,I know how it feels dont have a place to go, also I was planning on moving at the end of the year anyway, and I thought...

When he moved in, I notified the property management and added him to the lease. That bumped my rent up by $250 a month. On top of that, all the...

adding him to my insurance, pretty much everything were being covered by me. He gave me some money to help cover the rent increase and to cover some bills for...

I have a stable job and by being careful with my budget, I was able to support us both, also he does some jobs here and there, not too much...

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Stress built as they added another dog and tensions rose:

Things were fine for a few weeks, but then we adopted another dog. That’s when I started feeling really stressed. I was suddenly the only one financially responsible for four...

Also he started complaining about the dogs, about the responsibility that is walking them, cleaning after them and that I wasn’t giving him enough attention because I work 10-hour days,...

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attend therapy twice a week and on top of that I wanted to take care of the house and spend time with my dogs. We talked and I told him...

That way, we could actually spend more time together without me being buried in chores after work. But things just kept getting more stressful. I think he feels “less than...

I even suggested and opened a joint bank account for us, just for him to don't feel like he was taking advantage of me. I was transferring to that account...

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I never pressured him to contribute, but always told him that I was appreciating his contributions. He became cold, distant, and even rude.

Every time I brought it up, he’d flip it back on me saying I was invalidating his feelings because he was stressed with the job hunting, and house chores. I...

working 60 hours a week and having all the financial responsibilities on me, plus all the drama with my ex husband running out of the country and making our divorce...

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The breaking point came during her work trip:

Fast forward to recently I went on a work trip that I didn't want to attend, but I did because it means more money for us. As soon as I...

but he couldn't talk to me because he had some movie night planned with one of his best friends, so we didn’t talk for 3 days because I had no...

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Yesterday, he texted me that the dogs were running out of food and asked me to buy more and schedule the delivery for 6pm. I did, but the Vet changed...

I texted him about how to do it but he was sounding so confused that I decided to call him and explain it. I even asked him when he would...

At 8pm on the time he chose I called and he answered the phone with “Hey, what do you want?” I was taken aback because we hadn’t spoken in days,...

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He immediately started yelling at me that I was overreacting and that he was in the middle of house chores and computer work. I hung up and texted him that...

he could call me and we could talk about what was bothering him with mutual respect and no yelling. He replied that he’d only talk to me if I apologized....

I tried again and he asked if I was going to apologize. When I said no, he said we wouldn’t be on good terms or speaking until I apologized first.

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I said that was a really manipulative demand and asked if that was really his decision and he said yes, I even asked if he knew what that meant and...

So, I emailed property management (with him copied) letting them know he would be moving out in 15 days. I also emailed him asking for his moving schedule and practical...

when exactly he’d be out so I could have my space back, and who would take care of the dogs while I’m away for work. I even tried to explain...

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and how it was triggering for me because of the abuse I went through with my ex-husband. His reaction didn’t change.. Now he’s accusing me of “throwing him out on...

This situation screams classic signs of financial and emotional abuse layered on top of an already vulnerable recovery from domestic violence. Moving in after just two months, minimal contributions, adding a pet that increases burden, and then demanding apologies for basic communication—it’s a pattern many recognize as “hobosexual” behavior, where someone uses relationships for housing.

While empathy for his eviction is valid, agreeing to support him fully so soon was risky, especially post-trauma. The manipulation—yelling, silent treatment until apology—mirrors controlling tactics that can retraumatize survivors.

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Relationship experts often highlight this rebound trap. As psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula explains in her work on narcissism and abuse, “Survivors sometimes rush into new relationships seeking safety, but attract similar dynamics until patterns are addressed in therapy.” Prioritizing healing alone is key.

Smart move kicking him out—stick to it. Change locks if needed, document everything for safety, and lean on therapy to spot red flags sooner. Focus on you and the dogs; better things await without the drain.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Folks online overwhelmingly declared her NTA, spotting the abusive cycle and urging her to stay strong while healing.

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Many pointed out she swapped one toxic situation for another and needs time single:

JasMel_01 − NTA but you have replaced your previous toxic relationship with another one. Please stick to your guns with this break up, and take this to therapy so you...

cassowary32 − NTA. You should stay single for a while. You went from a physically abusive relationship to an emotionally/financially abusive one.

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You need to talk to a therapist and recognize giant red flags staring you in the face - the homelessness, the joblessness, not contributing, adding a new pet (abusers like...

I'm glad you got him out of your home but don't take in another hobosexual, no matter how sad his story is. Isn't it odd that he had to sleep...

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rosegoldblonde − NTA BUT you went from one abusive relationship to another with a b__. Perhaps be single for awhile and get some therapy girl.

Cragbog − Girl don't date for a while cus how tf did you not see that this was just as bad as the other relationship.

thegreenmonkey69 − NTA. But, here's some advice. Stay single for a while. Date, have fun, bang whoever you want. But keep it casual. You need to heal from these relationships

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and get yourself centered before commiting to something long term. And, for deity's sake why the hell did you adopt a second dog knowing your financial situation and how your...

No answer required there but make better decisions moving forward.

Others called out the “hobosexual” vibes and poor choices like the joint account:

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Financial-Parfait181 − BTA. He's a total hobosexual, then gaslighting you about it. Nope. Gone. Bye Bye Boy.

pixie-ann − NTA but you make terrible decisions! Do not ever let someone you’ve only been dating for a couple of months move in with you, so don’t care what...

No. Just don’t do it. Why would you adopt another dog when you are already strained financially and short on space?

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The joint bank account was nuts. You should never have started being financially responsible for him. None of these things make you the A, just incredibly naive and just not...

Please learn from this and do not ever jump into co-habitation again after such a short time frame. Ex is a total A. He’s a liar, manipulator and thief. You...

elainegeorge − YTA to yourself. You make one poor decision after another. First, you date someone with no job. Then, you let someone you’re dating for two weeks move in.

Next, you open a joint bank account with them. I know married people who don’t have a joint account. It’s like a list of what not to do. Break up....

belle-no-princess − Letting him move in is one thing but joint account when he's bumming off you and not working? ?? Before a year of even being together? ??? Giirrrrrrl

A few cheered the eviction and critiqued the extra dog:

Antique_Elk7826 − NTA I think. But you chose a poor time to adopt another dog. Does he deserve to be kicked to the curb? Yep. It felt like he was...

ButterscotchLittle65 − NTA for kicking out the abusive hobosexual. YTA for adoption an additional dog that you don’t have time to care for.

BeachinLife1 − Do you really need some internet strangers to tell you that you are NTA? You know good and well you should have thrown him out LONG ago.

door-stool − NTA. Good for you. He needs to be thrown out on the streets.

sysaphiswaits − The person you’re dating during your divorce usually gets cleaned up along with everything else that does when you’re getting your life cleaned up from that mess. I...

Wanted you to open a joint bank account so he wouldn’t feel like he was taking advantage of you? Which he was 100% doing, so…you should have kicked him out...

Budyob − I couldn’t finish reading this because 3 paragraphs in it’s totally obvious you got another abusive man, currently not physically abuse, most definitely financial and emotional abuse.

Please see all the red flags and don’t repeat having another abusive relationship. Cut ties with this man you can find someone who appreciates you and knows how to have...

This breakup feels like a hard-won step toward real healing after back-to-back tough relationships. She supported him generously, but his demands and lack of effort turned toxic fast.

Everyone agrees: NTA for reclaiming her space and peace. What do you think—how soon is too soon to let someone move in? And is staying single the best reset after abuse?

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