AITA for being upset that I’m constantly left out?
A woman feels deeply hurt and excluded because her boyfriend repeatedly makes plans with her own friend group on days she’s scheduled to work long shifts and can’t join. Activities like bar hopping or trips to amusement parks consistently fall on her busiest weekends, and when she suggests alternate days she’s available, the group refuses to adjust. This pattern has left her as the only one constantly missing out, even though she doesn’t work every weekend.
What makes the situation more complicated is that these are her friends first—her best friend of eight years and her roommate—yet her boyfriend, who isn’t local, has become the central planner for the group. She’s asked him directly to reschedule outings so she can participate, but the answer is always no, fueling her suspicion that the exclusion might be intentional and leaving her questioning her place in both the relationship and the friend circle.
‘AITA for being upset that I’m constantly left out?’
The pattern of exclusion started with weekend plans that always conflicted with her work schedule.
The latest incident involved a planned trip to Busch Gardens on a day she had a full wedding shift.
The ongoing rejection has left her feeling deliberately left out by the people closest to her.
At its core, the woman is experiencing repeated, deliberate scheduling that excludes her from group activities she would otherwise enjoy. When friends and a partner consistently choose inconvenient times despite knowing her availability and refusing reasonable alternatives, it sends a clear message of low priority. Relationship experts note that healthy friendships and partnerships involve mutual consideration; persistent exclusion, especially when the boyfriend is organizing events with her own long-time friends, often signals deeper issues such as resentment, cliquey behavior, or even intentional marginalization.
Her feelings of being the “odd man out” are valid—ongoing exclusion erodes belonging and can lead to isolation. From another angle, some might argue the group simply wants to enjoy spontaneous plans without constant rescheduling, and her work demands limit flexibility. However, refusing every suggested compromise while knowing it hurts her crosses into disregard.
The boyfriend’s central role in planning with her friends adds suspicion—why isn’t he advocating for inclusion? On a broader level, this highlights how friend groups can shift loyalties in new relationships, sometimes leaving the original member sidelined. Addressing it directly, setting boundaries, or reevaluating the relationships may be necessary to restore balance and respect.
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
Most users agreed she is not the asshole and strongly criticized both her boyfriend and friends for the deliberate exclusion.
Several comments pointed out the suspicious nature of the boyfriend organizing events with her friends.
A couple of lighter or pragmatic suggestions emerged alongside the support.
The woman’s hurt is understandable—being repeatedly left out of plans with her own friends, especially when alternatives are offered and rejected, feels like intentional exclusion. Her boyfriend’s role in organizing these outings without pushing for her inclusion raises red flags about respect and loyalty in the relationship. True friends and partners make reasonable efforts to include everyone when possible; persistent refusal suggests deeper issues that may require honest conversations or reevaluation of the dynamics.
Have you ever felt deliberately excluded from a friend group or partner’s plans? Do you think the boyfriend is intentionally sidelining her, or could there be another explanation? Would you confront the group directly, test their reaction with a schedule “surprise,” or start building new connections elsewhere? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
