AITAH for getting in a relationship while taking it slow with another woman?

A man shared his confusion after a woman he had been seeing for months reacted angrily when he entered an official relationship with someone else. He had been clear about his romantic intentions early on, but she insisted on moving extremely slowly and building a friendship first, even rejecting his attempt to kiss her.

What complicates the story is her expectation that he would wait indefinitely without any romantic progression, while considering them more than just friends. His decision to date others after confirming their platonic status has sparked debate about boundaries, communication, and what “taking it slow” truly means.

‘AITAH for getting in a relationship while taking it slow with another woman?’

A man meets a woman six months ago and quickly expresses his romantic intentions.

I met this woman about 6 months ago. We clicked really well, and I told her my intentions within the first few weeks.

She emphasizes taking things slow, rejects a kiss, and stresses building friendship first.

She says she always takes things slow. Fast forward a bit and I tried to kiss her, she refused. We talked about it and she reiterates she takes things slow...

He confirms their friendship status, starts dating another woman, and eventually becomes official with her.

I figured since we are just friends that I'm free to date around. Before I did that I talked my friend, basically confirmed that we are just friends.

I met this other woman 3 months ago, and she's been fantastic. Smart, funny, and we have been having s__ regularly.. We became official recently, bf and gf.

I told my friend about this and she got pissed. She said she thought we were taking it slow, and agreed to be friends first. I told her that we...

This situation illustrates a common mismatch in expectations when one person wants to “take it slow” while the other seeks clearer commitment. The man’s transparent communication—stating intentions early, respecting her boundaries after the rejected kiss, and confirming their friendship—demonstrates reasonable efforts to align on the same page.

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Critics might argue he should have waited longer or interpreted “friends first” as an exclusive situationship, implying an unspoken agreement to pause dating others. This view often stems from romantic ideals where patience alone proves worthiness, yet it places unfair pressure on one party to indefinitely shelve their life.

Socially, these stories highlight evolving dating norms: many now prioritize explicit agreements over assumptions. “Taking it slow” typically means gradual physical or emotional intimacy within a defined relationship, not an open-ended limbo. By moving on after months without progression, the man avoided resentment and found compatibility elsewhere, reinforcing that mutual enthusiasm, not endless waiting, builds healthy partnerships.

Check out how the community responded:

Many users backed the man, pointing out that six months without romance isn’t slow—it’s stalled.

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EmuDue9390 − How slow did she want to take it? Sheesh

[Reddit User] − 6 months and not even a kiss? That isn't slow, it's "string you along until you get sick of it" NTA and congratulations on your new, not...

dubh_righ − Whyyyyy won't you put your life on hold for me to decide that I want a relationship with you? You know, like you would with every other friend?...

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[Reddit User] − 6 months isn’t slow that is pretty much stopped.

Primary-Friend-7615 − NTA. Wanting to be friends first, and rejecting any romantic overtures… means that you are just friends. Not partners, not dating. Just friends.

A couple of commenters acknowledged nuances, like reasonable limits on slowness in potential relationships.

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BeardManMichael − NTA Two people can still be in a relationship while taking it slow. Seems like she didn't even want to commit to a proper relationship. That is completely...

BlueGreen_1956 − NTA You were taking it slow. ..with her. Your "friend" had her chance, and she blew it. Well, in this case she didn't blow "it" and the result...

Caspian4136 − NTA There's taking it slow and then glacial level of slowness, which is the route she seems to take.

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You talked, confirmed you're "just friends" and met someone else - after she rejected you trying to kiss her. She seemed to make it clear she wasn't really that into...

Saw you mention that she's religious in another comment, maybe she needs to date like minded men who are okay waiting, and waiting, and waiting lol

Others added humor or straightforward takes to lighten the frustration.

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Own_Rough4888 − Being friends in a romantic relationship because you are taking it slow, is not a thing. Either in a relationship or friends. NTA

[Reddit User] − NTA I think like this, if a girl tells me she wants to be with me and asks me to start a relationship, but at the same...

but if I she says "let's be friends first and see how it goes", with all due respect if in the meantime I meet someone else, I won't deprive myself...

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The man’s choice to pursue a fulfilling relationship after months of platonic limbo reflects clear communication and self-respect, rather than betrayal. While “taking it slow” varies by person, indefinite waiting without mutual commitment often leads to mismatched expectations.

What’s your definition of “taking it slow” in dating? How long is reasonable to wait for romantic progression before moving on? Have you ever been in a similar “friends first” situation that went sideways? Drop your experiences in the comments.

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