This College Student Demanded Babysitting Money From Her Sister, But She Was Already Living Under Her Roof Rent-Free

We all know that overwhelming feeling when family obligations start to feel less like love and more like an unpaid second job. For one nineteen-year-old college student, a seemingly perfect living arrangement quickly spiraled into a stressful battleground over unpaid labor, household contributions, and broken boundaries.

After moving into her older sister’s home to escape a difficult childhood environment, she agreed to a simple trade. She would watch her eighteen-month-old niece twice a week, and in exchange, she would receive free rent, utilities, and groceries. On paper, it was the ultimate win-win for a busy student.

However, the fragile peace shattered when the sister’s work-from-home privilege was abruptly revoked by her employer. Suddenly, the babysitting expectations doubled to four days a week, leaving the student with virtually no time to secure an outside job for her own personal expenses.

Trapped in a schedule that prevented her from earning any pocket money, the student proposed a modest monthly stipend of $320—a fraction of what professional childcare would cost. Want to see how this family standoff unfolded? Read on to discover the details of their arrangement.

This College Student Demanded Babysitting Money From Her Sister, But She Was Already Living Under Her Roof Rent-Free

AITA for wanting to be paid to watch my sisters kid for 3-4 days a week.?

A college student trades part-time babysitting for free room and board, but a sudden corporate shift changes the terms of the deal.

I am a 19-year-old who moved into my sister and her husband's house from my childhood home last year. I agreed to babysit her child, who is currently 18 months...

A few months ago, she found out that she can no longer work from home, and she was expecting me to take care of her child for the four days...

I knew that I would be severely underpaid, but I assured her that I did not mind since she is financially struggling and cannot afford daycare or an official babysitter....

She told me to focus on finding a job and on school because she never wanted her and her family to be a burden on me.

An outside perspective turns a private negotiation into a full-blown family dispute over entitlement and duty.

However, my other sister—let's call her Sister Two—talked to me about it. She told me that she understands my points about wanting to be paid, but she does not agree...

ADVERTISEMENT

However, I feel conflicted about that because I do not earn any form of income, and I can no longer get a job while watching Sister One's child. Sister Two...

I told Sister Two that I am in no serious rush, and the amount I was asking for was reasonable because they could easily spend $300 to have fun on...

Sister Two thinks that is not right, and that family helps family without expecting money. She thinks that I should not ask for money from Sister One's struggling family. However,...

ADVERTISEMENT

Plus, I am offering her a much better price point than daycare. I tried to make Sister One take my offer once again after clarifying that this is a choice...

However, she insisted I focus on my future and find a job, and now I feel guilty for making our relationship transactional. I intend to help out with bills when...

Updates

Edit: She is not in daycare yet, as this is a conversation that just happened earlier this week. However, I told them I can wait to start my job until...

ADVERTISEMENT

I have already told them that I plan on giving them rent, my part in utilities, other bills, and paying for my own groceries once they can put her into...

Also, my relationship with my sister is not strained in a way where she would resent me for not choosing her family over myself. Thank you for making me appreciate...

Navigating the unspoken boundaries of family help and actual employment is always a recipe for tension, and this situation illustrates why. According to relationship counselors, mixing business with family without a formal agreement almost always breeds resentment. When roles are not clearly defined, deep-seated emotional patterns and power imbalances quickly emerge.

ADVERTISEMENT

In this case, the nineteen-year-old is operating essentially as a live-in nanny, a role that typically commands a significant wage alongside room and board. However, from the homeowner’s perspective, the market value of rent, utilities, and groceries often equals or exceeds the cost of part-time childcare.

When the arrangement doubled from two days to four, the balance shifted dramatically. Working forty hours a week leaves virtually no time for an outside job, effectively stripping the student of her financial autonomy. By offering a “three-month grace period,” the younger sister inadvertently adopted a corporate, transactional tone.

To resolve this impasse, both parties need to draft a transparent ledger. The sisters should calculate the fair market value of the room and board against the local rate for forty hours of childcare per week. This objective comparison can help remove the emotional charge from the negotiation.

ADVERTISEMENT

Moving forward, the best path is for the college student to obtain an outside job, pay a set amount of rent, and allow the sister to find professional childcare services. This clean break will protect their relationship from further financial strain and restore healthy family dynamics.

Ultimately, transitioning to a more independent arrangement seems to be the healthiest choice for everyone involved. It allows the younger sister to focus on her studies and build her own financial foundation, while the older sister can seek reliable, professional care without feeling like she is taking advantage of family.

Do you think the sister was wrong to expect full-time childcare in exchange for room and board, or was the student being unreasonable by asking for cash on top of free rent? And how would you handle a similar boundary dispute with your own family? Share your thoughts below!

ADVERTISEMENT

Community Opinions

Reddit was deeply divided, with many users scolding the student for her delivery while others calculated the sheer market value of her labor.

u/Cute-Development7287
YTA, you're living rent free with zero bills. They already pay for everything for you.

u/Deep-Manner-4111 Soft YTA. You live in her house, you use water, electricity and you eat extra food. She's really taking care of you in a lot of ways and that...

ADVERTISEMENT

u/babybug98 … they pay everything for you. Some people your age have to pay rent, pay bills, and still go to school all on their own. You gave them a...

u/The_Bunny_Brat Do a realistic cost breakdown of what it would cost to live like you do, then look at what is a fair charge for your services. Subtract the cost...

u/cb1977007
YTA.
I would be too ashamed to continue to live under her roof or eat her food.
You should move back to your mom’s.

ADVERTISEMENT

u/Crazy_Bee2 She probably now wants you to focus on getting a job, so that you can move out, since you live there free and dont want to help with the...

u/BasilSalt207
YTA, rent, food and utilities are expensive.
Watching your niblings in exchange for free room and board while you go to school is still massively to your advantage

u/Lanky-Relief-6433 Actually disagree with most here, watching a kid 4 days a week basically is a full time job. Average babysitter is paid abt $20 an hour. This would more...

ADVERTISEMENT

u/deadlyhausfrau I honestly think you are in the wrong here. It's one or two days more a week and they pay your bills. Maybe you could ask for something like,...

u/Open_Bug_4251 $80 a week seems more than reasonable to allow OP to have spending money for incidentals. Unless the sister is buying all of her hygiene products, clothes, and other...

u/SparkyDogPants NTA this sub is out of their mind. Live in nannies don’t pay room/board but they are making $20-$30 an hour. Your sister wants you to work a full...

ADVERTISEMENT

u/EvokeWonder Yta. Sounds like sister one is wanting you to get a job so you can start pay rent or they kick you out because her not being able to...

u/TopDifficult8754
I think you should get yourself a job, and then pay your sister rent.

u/ConflictGullible392 You are essentially working 40 hours a week as a full time nanny. While they should absolutely be deducting rent, utilities and food from your pay, that should not...

ADVERTISEMENT

u/PerfectFig1035 I'm thinking everybody sucks here. I understand your pov because your two days a week suddenly became four days a week and that's not what you agreed to. I...

A few commenters attempted to bridge the gap, suggesting that both sisters were actually getting a highly emotional, raw deal.

ADVERTISEMENT

Navigating the delicate balance between family support and personal financial independence is never easy, especially during college. While one side of the argument views free room and board as more than fair compensation, the other highlights the intense physical and emotional toll of full-time childcare. Ultimately, both sisters are trying to stay afloat in an increasingly expensive world.

Do you think the younger sister was acting entitled by asking for a stipend, or was she being taken advantage of by her family? And how would you negotiate a living arrangement like this?

Share your hot take below!

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *