AITA for deciding to divorce my husband of 10 yrs and move home with my child?

Can heartbreak push you to uproot your entire life for your child’s sake? A 25-year-old mother faces this dilemma after her husband’s eight-month affair abroad shattered their decade-long marriage. High school sweethearts, they wed five years ago to navigate his travel-heavy job, with her and their young child following. Past forgiven flirtations led to therapy, but his hidden promises of a new family crushed her trust.

Isolation in a state without family or friends intensifies her pain. His remote pleas for another chance spark guilt, yet she plans to flee to her home state for support. Evidence of ongoing betrayal during counseling fuels her resolve. With custody fears and financial strain looming, her decision tests her strength to prioritize herself and her child.

‘AITA for deciding to divorce my husband of 10 yrs and move home with my child?’

The wife provides essential background on their decade-long relationship.

So my husband (26M) and I (25F) I've been together for 10 years, we are high school sweethearts. He has a job that requires him to travel and due to...

We have a child together under the age of five. Don't want to be too specific just in case this gets more attention than I expect.

She describes the shocking discovery of infidelity and its emotional toll.

Issue: I recently found out that he had a eight-month affair with a woman in another country while away for work. She reached out to me. Sent me pictures, videos,...

She shared with me that she wasn't aware he was in a relationship or had children. This hurt me to my core. In the past he has text it with...

I found out about the texting with other girls. Maybe twice or three times before and forgave him because he said he would go to therapy which we did and...

She then told me that they had been talking once he got home as well (during the time we were in therapy" working on things"). I share with him how...

He is currently away from home for work and keeps calling me and texting me asking for forgiveness and telling me how he'll never do it again and he's been...

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I don't believe this and I don't want to keep hurting myself so I decided to take my kid and go back home (states away). I haven't made the move...

I honestly don't think I'll go back but he's been being overly remorseful to the point that I'm starting to feel like I'm the a****** for moving our kid to...

By the way, in the state that we live in we have no family. I have no friends and it'll be difficult probably impossible for me to pay for things...

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We currently have a house together and he's trying to ask me to stay for at least another month to give him a chance to show he's changing and actively...

An edit adds updates on legal fears and next steps.

Edit to update: Thank you all for your advice and kind words so clarification we are in the US he can't quit his job he's under contract and I plan...

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However, now I'm terrified to leave even more cuz I don't want to lose custody of my kid but I will be reaching out to a lawyer and to make...

The central clash stems from serial infidelity clashing with trust rebuilt in therapy. The husband’s travel enabled an eight-month affair, complete with future promises to another woman. Past texting incidents were forgiven, but ongoing contact during counseling shattered hope. Isolation in a new state without support amplified her pain. His remote pleas for time trigger guilt, escalating fears over child relocation and finances.

She drives decisions from deep betrayal and self-protection. Fear for the child’s future in a unstable home fuels the move. He leverages remorse to retain control, ignoring her boundaries. Communication broke down as actions contradicted words. Empathy vanished amid manipulation tactics.

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Psychologist Dr. Harriet Lerner stated that “apologies without change are manipulation” (The Dance of Connection, 2001). This fits perfectly. Promises ring hollow against patterns. Guilt induction delays accountability. True remorse demands space without pressure.

Consult a family lawyer immediately for custody laws across states. Document all evidence of infidelity calmly. Secure temporary support from family upon arrival. Establish a co-parenting plan focusing on the child’s stability. Attend individual therapy to process guilt. Set firm boundaries via text until legal steps solidify. Prioritize safety and independence.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The online community rallied around this story of betrayal and the mother’s plan to leave, offering strong opinions. Reactions split into firm support for her departure, warnings about legal risks, and calls to recognize manipulation tactics. The debate highlighted emotional and practical layers of her decision.

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Many readers urged the wife to prioritize herself and her child, condemning the husband’s repeated infidelity.

allegory_story − NTA. Do not second guess yourself here. He has shown you who is is. He has shown you he can lie so effectively that he lets you believe...

The most stability you can give your child is to return home where you have support. You're being emotionally manipulated when you say he is acting bg overly remorseful. He...

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If he was sincere he wouldn't be placing conditions on you by asking you to stay. He would say I will find a way to get therapy and work from...

Remember he up ended everyone's life's when he did this even though you sacrificed for his work situation. If he is sincere he will see no issue with making changes...

Hemenucha − I honestly don't think I'll go back but he's been being overly remorseful to the point that I'm starting to feel like I'm the a****** for moving our...

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You feel like an a__hole because your husband wants you to feel that way. If you feel bad enough, you'll stay. Again. This man has shown you his true colors.

He will not change. Take your child and go home. Don't let them grow up thinking this is an acceptable way for a husband to treat his wife. NTA.

Glad_Shop5765 − NTA. Don’t go back and don’t feel bad. He thinks about getting his d__k wet more than he thinks about his family, which is you and your child....

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Hippy_Dippy_Gypsy − NTA - he may well be a s__ addict - a lot of his behavior you describe seems like that and he is dragging you down.

Plus do you want this man to teach, and your by staying with him , your own child what a healthy relationship looks like and how men should treat their...

Love yourself ! You are worthy of your love ! !! Spare yourself years/decades of this type of soul destroying behavior.

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PuddingIdjit − NTA He has cheated on you multiple times. He’s even cheated on you while in therapy pretending to work on your marriage. If you think this man is...

CrabbiestAsp − NTA. Move back home to your support system where the people actually care about you. Your husband is a master manipulator, do not believe his apologies, efforts to...

They will be short lived. He has proven to you time and time again he is untrustworthy. You deserve so much better than this.

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Significant-Owl5869 − He’s probably begging because sancha realized her worth and ditched him. He’s not going to stop. He never will. Stop putting your life on hold for someone who...

Others cautioned about legal risks of relocating with the child without consent.

Medical-Subject1706 − NTA. Don’t believe him when he says he’ll change. But also make yourself aware of your state laws about leaving with a child without the other parent’s consent....

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aln2x − NTA, but look into state laws and consult a lawyer. You could be accused of kidnapping for taking your child across state lines

throwitaway_3857 − NTA. BUT. Depending on the state you live in, he can press kidnapping charges if he wanted to. You don’t get to just up and run away to...

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I’m sorry you’re hurting, but that’s not how the law works. You could even lose full custody of your kid for doing that, even with him traveling so much for...

Realistically, you may have to move back to the state you two reside in now. Edit: I just saw you haven’t moved yet. DON’T. It will hurt your custody case.

A few focused on manipulation tactics and the broader impact on family dynamics.

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HoshiJones − He must be a master at manipulation, if you're feeling guilty for leaving him. Give yourself some grace, you are doing the right thing. Stay strong. NTA. I...

RentPrize180 − NTA. Do not back now. Yk once a cheater always a cheater. And what you think is remorse is actually just manipulation.

bjr711 − He's not going to change if he's talking to his lover while going to therapy with you. He just wants to gaslight you into thinking he's changed. Follow...

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Echo-Azure − Edit: Comment redacted as there may be serious issues with moving out of state during a custody dispute. I'm sorry, OP, but you need to see a lawyer...

HeartAccording5241 − Sorry it’s over you tried therapy once and he was still talking to her when you was doing it

This story exposes the raw pain inflicted by repeated betrayal and the courage it takes to break free. The mother’s discovery of her husband’s ongoing infidelity, even during therapy, reveals a pattern of deceit that eroded trust. Her choice to relocate for family support reflects a fierce commitment to her child’s stability. Yet, his manipulative remorse and legal risks highlight the complexity of leaving. Readers learn that self-worth and child welfare outweigh hollow apologies. Clear boundaries and legal preparation are vital in such crises.

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Have you ever faced a partner’s betrayal that forced a life-altering decision? How would you balance protecting your child with navigating legal risks in a move? When does remorse become manipulation in a broken relationship?

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