AITA for telling my husband if his sister isn’t moved out by Jan next year I’ll be the one moving out?

The kitchen clock ticks louder than usual as a weary mother, juggling pregnancy and a newborn, faces a houseguest who’s overstayed her welcome. At 28, she’s reached her breaking point, issuing a bold ultimatum to her husband: his sister, a fixture in their home for two years, must go by January, or she’ll pack her bags. The air crackles with tension, as unwashed dishes and sharp words from the sister pile up, threatening the harmony of a growing family.

This story captures a raw slice of domestic life, where loyalty, boundaries, and exhaustion collide. The woman’s plea for a peaceful home resonates with anyone who’s felt stretched thin by family obligations. As her husband wavers, torn between his sister’s struggles and his wife’s needs, readers are left wondering: is her ultimatum a fair stand or a step too far?

‘AITA for telling my husband if his sister isn’t moved out by Jan next year I’ll be the one moving out?’

I’ve been with my husband since I was 17 and he was 20, his sister is 4 years younger than him.. 3 years into our relationship we got married, I’m 28 now.. I gave birth 8 months ago and I’m currently 6months pregnant with our second.

Two years ago my husbands sister lost her flat, she had a 2 year old so I of course agreed to let her stay with us- rent for her is £200 a month (which barely covers her food) and we specified she would have to tidy up after herself and her child because my husband and I both work full time.

I’ve been off for a while now, I’m still working from home though but no longer go into the office and while his sister has never been the tidiest (she did the bare minimum) she now does absolutely nothing apart from making a mess. My husband helps out sometimes but, bless his heart,

he can burn water and he has no back bone meaning despite only having one child at the moment I’m tidying up after two, three if you count his sister. My husband wants to give his sister a break since she’s not been late on rent and helps us out sometimes so we can have a day for ourselves (we pay her £11 an hour for that)

Since getting pregnant with our second all she’s done is talk down to me, we’ve had some *heated* arguments, my husband tends to stay neutral. I’m sick of her, I’ve mentioned it to the both of them - if she isn’t out by January I’m leaving, if she continues giving me attitude she can leave by October.

My husband is now upset for “alienating” his sister who’s trying to get her life back on track (saving for a house, considering going university and working). At this stage I don’t care if she starts tidying up after herself, I’m done but now I’m wondering if I’m being harsh and overreacting.. AITA?

Living with extended family can feel like hosting a never-ending sleepover, especially when boundaries blur. This mom’s ultimatum stems from exhaustion, amplified by pregnancy and a lack of support. Her sister-in-law’s disrespect and messiness clash with her need for a calm home, while her husband’s neutrality tilts toward enabling his sister. It’s a classic case of mismatched priorities, where one person’s generosity becomes another’s burden.

The broader issue here is household boundary-setting, particularly during stressful life stages like pregnancy. A 2021 study from the Journal of Family Psychology found that clear boundaries reduce stress in multigenerational households. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, emphasizes, “A partner’s failure to prioritize their spouse’s needs can erode trust”. The husband’s inaction risks fracturing their marriage, as his wife feels unsupported.

For solutions, the couple should set a firm move-out date with clear expectations, perhaps involving a written agreement. Couples counseling could help the husband see his wife’s perspective, ensuring their family unit comes first.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit users didn’t mince words, dishing out a feast of opinions with a side of sass. From calling out the sister-in-law’s freeloading to urging the mom to stand her ground, here’s what the community had to say:

Johciee - NTA you’ve given her plenty of notice to sort it all out. She clearly takes advantage of you and your husband. And im sorry, but if she has been there for two years, that is ample time to “get her life back on track”. You have enough on your plate as it is.

Jmose93 - NTA It’s been 2 years. In my opinion it kind of sounds like she’s taking advantage because she’s had it easy so long and has the attitude that her brother “wouldn’t let his baby sister live on the street”. She has a child she needs to provide for and set a good example for. Bad timing with Covid and all that but she’s had two years to sort her life out.

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Sekio-Vias - I’m sorry Im hung up on the 8 months pp, and 6 months pregnant. Wth woman? That goes against all recommendations. That can really s**ew up your body. You need recovery time. You have to restock all the nutrients baby 1 took from you or baby 2 and you are gonna have it really really rough. You didn’t wait 6 weeks before s**? Your body deserves more TLC hun.

I know off topic. I’m just worried about your health. Probably weren’t breastfeeding to have actually gotten pregnant, which is good considering that would draw even more out of you. Please work hard on eating right with lots of healthy nutrient rich foods, and work closely with the ob.

You’re probably already low on DHA, calcium, iron, and a few more. Please take care of yourself and your body. I’m also 8 months PP. goodness I wouldn’t want to be 6 months pregnant right now with all the stress, and other things that pop up with babies.

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ZoeAWashburne - NTA and for reference, your husband isn't staying neutral in this. He chose his sister. And I am sorry- it must be so hurtful. I know it is a cliche, but you don't have a SIL problem, you have a husband problem. But I wouldn't give her until January.

I assume you are in the UK as you said ££- Since she has a small child, the local council has to provide accommodation. She won't be homeless.. She has been there 2 years. If she was planning on getting her life together, she would have already.

adeAnnsull - NTA she's overstaying her welcome anyway honestly

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drbarnowl - NTA but why wait? I would move in with your family if you can. That way you will only be a single parent to 2 kids not 4. It’s been two years. Your husband had already chosen his sister over you. Check out r/justnoso

MxPlume - I always hated when people joke about being so bad at cooking they burn water. Cooking is not some crazy super power. It takes practice and is a basic life skill requirement for any adult. Oh and NTA. Your husband needs to stand up for you and also take 10 minutes to learn to do some basic f**king chores.

OldGregg84 - NTA, she has long outstayed her welcome. Why has she been there for 2 years? That is far too long, sounds like she has become complacent and is depending on big bro not saying anything to rock the boat (hence her being allowed to disprespect you in your own home).

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The only thing I would say is don't make empty threats, if you say you're going to move out if she doesn't buck her ideas up/move out, be prepared to do so otherwise they will never take anything you say seriously again

Theek3 - NTA soft ESH. Unless they expect her to live there forever there needs to be a firm move out date. ~~You should have probably discussed when that date will be so you might be an a**hole for making an ultimatum like that.

Beyond that it isn't unreasonable to expect her to move out in a reasonable timeline even if she was a perfect angel.. Edit: I missed the 2 years part. The ultimatum is reasonable at this point.

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MandaMaelstrom - NTA. It’s perfectly reasonable to set boundaries and an end date for your sister-in-law’s stay. You’ve been more than generous, but there has to be a limit. You’re preparing for a second child now.

You need space as a family and a calm environment for your own health. I totally understand your husband’s loyalty to his sister, but ultimately he needs to have your back and ensure you feel comfortable in your own home. Enough is enough.. Good luck! 💜

These spicy takes from Reddit light up the thread, but do they hit the mark? Or is there more to this family drama than meets the eye?

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This tale of a fed-up mom and a freeloading sister-in-law serves up a hearty dose of family drama, with a side of marital tension. Her ultimatum might sound harsh, but it’s a cry for respect and peace in her own home. As the clock ticks toward January, the question lingers: will her husband step up, or will she walk out? What would you do if stuck with an unwelcome houseguest? Drop your thoughts below!

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