AITA for not deleting all my backups of my art like dad told me to and letting him punish me instead?

In a softly lit bedroom, a 15-year-old girl hunches over her art tablet, her digital brushstrokes weaving memories of her late mother into vibrant scenes. Each drawing is a lifeline to her past, a way to heal after loss. But when her father discovers her work excludes his new wife and half-siblings, he demands she erase it all, sparking a fierce standoff that threatens her creative sanctuary.

Her refusal to delete her backups leads to grounding and confiscated tools, leaving her torn between her art and her father’s expectations. The clash feels like a tug-of-war over her heart, with her dad pushing for family unity and her clinging to her personal expression. Readers are drawn into the drama: should she bend to his demands, or protect her art’s sacred space? The verdict awaits.

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‘AITA for not deleting all my backups of my art like dad told me to and letting him punish me instead?’

This young artist shared her story on Reddit, detailing the pain of her father’s actions and her resolve to protect her work. Here’s her original post, unpacking the family conflict.

I (15) like digital drawing a lot. My grandparents put me in art classes when I was 8 to give me something to focus on after my mom died. It really helped and I feel like I've grown enough to make it a job some day. I already do some small commissions when I want some money. I keep all my stuff on my laptop and I have it all backed up so I can keep it.

In November my dad went through my laptop when I was in school and looked through all my drawings. When I got home he'd deleted everything I'd made and he wanted me to delete all my backups that he knew I had. What set him off was I had a folder full of drawings of family but none of them included his wife or my two half siblings.

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They got married 5 years ago and my half siblings were born after that. He didn't like how I could draw mom into a lot of stuff, how I could include pets and grandparents and stuff, but not the blended part of our family. It's not that I hate my dad's wife or my half siblings, because I don't and I never did. But I don't love them. I like them and care about them.

I'd never want anything bad to happen to them. But they're not new mom and full sibling level to me. We get along fine but when it comes to my personal art I draw the things and the people I love. Some stuff I do for others or for the art class but the personal stuff is personal. I wouldn't delete the backups and my dad punished me.

He talked to me after the punishment was up and he told me it was time to delete them. Again I didn't. My grandparents stepped in to speak up for me and my dad said they needed to stay out of it. He blamed them for some of it. My half siblings never did the one day a week with them. Their mom was home and wanted them with her so it made sense.

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But dad said them taking me and my siblings for that one day made me think we were different to the halfs or something. My grandparents tried to talk him down but he meant it when he said they had to stay out of it. I still didn't delete s**t and I was grounded for three weeks because of it and it didn't make me give in.

So he decided to take my laptop and my art tablet and he told me I can't draw until I delete the backups. He said I can get them back when I delete everything. He said there is no reason for me to have and keep art like that. He said it wasn't a good thing that I'd drawn so much that excluded part of our family. He told me he wasn't letting me get away with it.

We're a coupe of weeks in now. I draw a little at school which helps me not go crazy without it. I do miss drawing. But I'm not deleting stuff that means something to me. I can survive three years of not doing it much. But AITA for not deleting it? My dad thinks so. He said he didn't know why I was being so stubborn about this and why I was trying to hurt everyone.

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Family dynamics can turn personal passions into battlegrounds, and this teen’s art is caught in the crossfire. Her father’s deletion of her work and demand to erase backups—because they exclude his new family—feels like an attempt to control her grief and creativity. She stands firm, prioritizing art tied to her late mother, even at the cost of punishment.

This clash highlights the tension in blended families, especially when grief lingers. A 2022 study in Journal of Family Issues notes that forcing children to emotionally align with stepfamilies can deepen resentment, particularly after loss. The father’s actions risk alienating his daughter further.

Psychologist Dr. Patricia Papernow, an expert on stepfamilies, says, “Forcing a child to embrace a new family dynamic ignores their emotional reality and can fracture trust”. Her insight underscores the teen’s need to protect her art as a coping mechanism. The father’s punitive approach dismisses her grief’s validity.

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The teen could safely store her art in cloud storage and seek a counselor to mediate. Her father should respect her creative boundaries.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit dove into this family drama with takes as bold as a vibrant canvas. Here’s a roundup of their thoughts, sprinkled with humor—because even heavy conflicts need a light touch.

Aggravating_Meat4785 − You’re dad is wrong. You draw what you want he can’t force you to draw them. You need to ask to see a therapist at school and tell them he’s punishing you for your art which is a very meaningful part of your life and you want help discussing this with him with another counselor or adult who can act as a mediator.

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He is totally wrong and what he’s doing is wrong and he has no right to take this away from you. If you want to draw your family as you feel it that’s up to you. You’re kind to them you just don’t feel that way. He can’t force you to love them or to draw them.

Taking away this super important part of your life and your creativity and growth is totally irrational and controlling. He’s trying to force you to delete your work because you didn’t draw something.

That’s crazy just ask you to draw one of them and let him shut up about it. He’s a very rude person for this. Totally irate and controlling. You need a counselor this is not ok. Get him to explain this to someone with knowledge and call him out for these actions. Don’t delete s**t. F**k that.

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Tribbles_Trouble − Can you go and live with your grandparents? What your father is doing is awful and definitely won’t make you love his wife and kids. I wish you the strength to keep your artwork even in the face of such adversity.

YuunofYork − This is abuse. Demand an apology, involve the step-mom in everything and get her on your side, and then blast him in public. When your entire school wants to know why he confiscated drawings you did of your dear departed mother, see what happens. Make it so every teacher's conference is the most awkward night of his life.

Anyone this stubborn and unintelligent doesn't deserve to win the sort of thing he wants from you. He has to be an actual i**ot to think it could be achieved by force or that taking your property wouldn't just push you further away.

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Trick_Curve_1933 − NTA. “Dad, I need you to sit and think long and hard about what I’m about to point out. Don’t argue, don’t immediately answer. I really want you to think about this: what kind of relationship do you envision us having moving forward?

What’s the next step? Say I do delete the backups of my art? Do you think I’ll magically love your wife and kids? Or do you think I’m actually going to resent you all immeasurably and walk out that door the minute I turn 18 and never come back?

I will have a funeral for you as though you died like mom and never speak to you again, and you can look back to this incident as the reason why. But the choice is ultimately yours. There is no going back from it. Like I said, take the time to think about it and the next step.”

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Open_Equal_1515 − Oh yes , how dare you have personal creative expression and not cater it to your dad’s exact emotional needs ? i mean , clearly , the only purpose of art is to be a propaganda machine for his ideal version of the family. Forget that it’s your passion , your memories , and your feelings—nope , gotta make sure stepmom and the half-sibs get equal screen time , or else it’s disrespectful.

Honestly , the level of control he’s trying to exert here is wild. deleting your artwork like it’s some kind of thought crime? Grounding you for not erasing your own memories ? Taking away your laptop like you committed artistic treason ? If this were a dystopian novel , he’d be the villain burning books. And let’s not gloss over the fact that you’re 15.

You’re still figuring out your place in the world , in your family , and in your art. the fact that you’re drawing the people and things that mean the most to you isn’t some deliberate malicious exclusion , it’s literally just being human. and spoiler alert: being forced to include people in your art out of obligation isn’t going to magically make you feel more connected to them.

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If anything , it’s just going to breed more resentment. Stick to your guns, picasso. He can take your tablet, but he can’t take your creativity. And let’s be real—three years is a long time , but you’re already outsmarting him by drawing at school. The man’s fighting a losing battle. Stay strong , and when you do move out, make sure the first thing you draw is a celebration of your artistic freedom.

Warhammer517 − What in the actual f**k is wrong with your dad? He's basically treating your mom like what George Orwell would call a 'Unperson,' and is punishing you for not toeing the party line and doing as he demands. Like some other folks said, he needs to get called out for his behavior.

EvilLynn511 − Please make sure to safe your art on various cloud storage, such like onedrive, Dropbox or amazon photos. Make sure he won't be able to find everything.. Maybe even store a hard drive somewhere.. His behaviour is disgusting and abusive

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little_light223 − Nta. Youre dad is sadly an abussive a**hole. After this stunt you would have every right to be angry and you should be.. Im sorry you are treated that way.

Dranask − Create a new google account and upload your stuff to it.. Or shove it on a USB and give it to a trusted grandparent.

TheVaneja − NTA and if my dad did that to me I'd tell him to his face that either he gives it back or he's dead to me.

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These Reddit opinions are as fiery as a painter’s passion, but do they capture the full picture? Is the teen justified in her defiance, or is her dad’s push for inclusion fair?

This teen’s story is a vivid portrait of grief, creativity, and family tension. Her refusal to delete her art, a tribute to her late mother, pits her against her father’s controlling demands, leaving their bond strained. Reddit cheers her strength, but the question lingers: can art and family reconcile after such a rift? What would you do in this clash of heart and home? Share your stories and weigh in on this emotional standoff!

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