AITA for not donating to my sister’s fundraiser?
A middle school teacher faces a tough call: keep donating to her sisters’ annual fundraiser or redirect her money to something more meaningful for their mom. This isn’t just about cash—it’s about feeling valued in a family. The tension kicked off when her sisters demanded she donate to their separate fundraising pages, yet they didn’t lift a finger to support her own efforts to fund books for her students.
What makes this sting even more is their dismissive attitude toward her job. Comments like “that’s what you signed up for” left her feeling unappreciated. Her story unfolds as a quest for balance between family duty and personal respect, raising a question: does family loyalty mean sacrificing your own sense of worth?

‘AITA for not donating to my sister’s fundraiser?’
Every year, the teacher’s two sisters rally funds for a disease affecting their mother, culminating in a charity walk.


Teaching reading at a middle school without a library, she launched a fundraiser to buy books for her students.


Her sisters’ lack of support, paired with their belittling remarks about her job, left her questioning her obligation to donate.


She chose to spend time and money on her mom directly and support her youngest sister’s fundraising efforts.



This story highlights a timeless question: how do you balance family obligations with personal respect? The teacher feels hurt by her sisters’ lack of support for her work, despite her consistent contributions to their cause. Their dismissive attitude toward her profession underscores a broader issue: teaching, a vital role, is often undervalued, even by those closest to us.
Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Mutual respect and reciprocal support are the foundation of strong relationships” (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work). Here, the sisters’ failure to acknowledge the teacher’s efforts creates an imbalance. Their expectation of her donations while ignoring her fundraiser shows a lack of empathy.
At the same time, her choice to redirect her money to pamper her mom is a healthy move. It sidesteps resentment and focuses on meaningful connection. Still, a direct conversation could help. Sharing her feelings openly might prompt her sisters to reflect on their actions, fostering mutual understanding.
Ultimately, this story reminds us that family ties thrive on mutual support. The teacher could keep supporting her youngest sister’s efforts while setting boundaries with the older two. This approach not only honors her values but also builds a healthier family dynamic.
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
The online community jumped in with a range of takes, from full support to practical tips.
Most users agreed she’s not wrong for skipping her sisters’ fundraiser, praising her plan to focus on her mom instead.










Some users were downright angry at the sisters’ dismissive attitude, emphasizing the importance of teaching.


![[Reddit User] − It sucks so bad that teachers are regularly doing fundraisers for their students’ school supplies. NAH let’s just tax the fucking rich.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/wp-editor-1758358924929-1.webp)
A few users, including former educators, offered actionable advice for sourcing books.
![[Reddit User] − Former English teacher and former middle school librarian here. I'd recommend checking a couple of places for books: 1. Your local public library's book sales. 2. Half-Price...](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/wp-editor-1758358931367-1.webp)

This story shows that family bonds need mutual respect to thrive. The teacher’s choice to skip her sisters’ fundraiser and instead pamper her mom and support her youngest sister reflects her commitment to meaningful connections. While family conflicts aren’t easy, her approach feels like a step toward balance.
What do you think of her decision? If you were in her shoes, would you keep donating or try talking things out with the sisters? Share your thoughts!

NTA–Your sisters are caught up in their efforts and don’t see the bigger picture. We all have different goals, and we all think we know best how to contribute to make the world a different place. You march ‘to a different drummer.’ You may not be appreciated for all the good you do, but your have to balance your student’s needs with your family’s needs.
Try to stay gracious and upbeat. Sister relationships are complicated!