AITAH if I kick out my boyfriend who has nothing?

A 27-year-old woman with a thriving career, successful business, and solid finances has been carrying her 24-year-old boyfriend financially for a year – paying 85% of rent, utilities, groceries, gas, everything – while he works full-time, goes to trade school, and still ends up flat broke with a repossessed car.

Recently, after more excuses, rage texts, screaming fits calling her an “inconsiderate b*tch” for being tired after 12–14-hour days, accusations of cheating, fake fainting, self-slapping, and threats of suicide over missing the gym and weed, she’s reached her limit. He spends $20–45 daily on Starbucks/drinks/snacks and $100/week on weed carts – blaming her stress for his habits. Now she’s ready to kick him out, knowing he’ll have nothing, but wonders if she’s the asshole for finally stopping the free ride.

‘AITAH if I kick out my boyfriend who has nothing?’

The relationship started with hope but quickly became one-sided:

The car repossession and excuses:

The meltdown over a 30-minute delay:

The screaming and abuse:

Edit and updates revealing more red flags:

This relationship has devolved into classic financial exploitation and emotional abuse. The boyfriend contributes minimally financially while demanding full emotional and logistical support – screaming, accusing cheating, fake fainting, self-harm threats, and suicide threats over minor inconveniences are textbook manipulation tactics to maintain control and avoid accountability. Relationship experts (e.g., Lundy Bancroft, Dr. Ramani Durvasula) classify this as coercive control: he weaponizes his “nothingness” to guilt her into staying and funding him.

The OP has been enabling for a year out of hope and compassion, but enabling abuse only prolongs it. His spending ($20–45/day on snacks/drinks + $100/week on weed) while claiming poverty and blaming her stress is entitlement, not victimhood. Threatening suicide when confronted is a serious red flag – not genuine, but manipulative to stop her from leaving.

Kicking him out is not cruel – it’s the only way to break the cycle. He’s an adult with a full-time job, trade school (union-paid), and options (re-enlistment, family, friends). Her guilt (“he’ll have nothing”) is misplaced – he’s had a year of free rent/food to get stable and chose not to. Safety first: document abuse, secure finances/devices, research local eviction laws (even if not on lease, he may claim tenancy), change locks after removal, and consider a police standby if he escalates.

Long-term, therapy can help her process guilt and rebuild boundaries. She deserves a partner, not a dependent who punishes her for having a life.

See what others had to share with OP:

The Reddit community overwhelmingly supported the OP as NTA, calling the boyfriend a hobosexual, abuser, and deadbeat, urging immediate eviction:

This relationship is textbook exploitation and emotional abuse – he contributes almost nothing financially, verbally attacks her for being tired after 65-hour weeks, accuses cheating, threatens suicide over gym/weed, and throws tantrums when held accountable. She’s enabled it for a year out of hope, but enabling only prolongs the damage. Kicking him out isn’t cruel – it’s the only way to stop the cycle. He’s an adult with a job and options; his “nothing” is the result of his choices, not her responsibility.

Do you think she should give him a final deadline/move-out date, or evict immediately for safety? Would you stay after the suicide threats and self-harm theatrics? How do you spot and escape a hobosexual situation? Share your thoughts below.