Husband (M/27) doesn’t want me (F/32) to go on girls’ trip?

Picture a frazzled mom, juggling lesson plans and laundry, dreaming of a few days with a book and a beach breeze. This 32-year-old teacher, married with two young kids, thought she’d scored a golden ticket: a girls’ trip to Destin, Florida, with trusted coworkers. The plan? Sun, laughs, and zero diaper changes, all paid from her own pocket. But her husband, barely out of his 20s, slams the brakes, labeling her getaway “morally wrong” and piling on the mom guilt.

Their clash, aired on Reddit, is more than a spat over a vacation. It’s a snapshot of a marriage teetering on fairness and control. While he enjoys yearly fishing trips with buddies, he insists she stay tethered to home and kids. Her push for a break, against his objections, has sparked a firestorm of support, shining a light on the delicate dance of independence in a partnership.

‘Husband (M/27) doesn’t want me (F/32) to go on girls’ trip?’

Advice please! We've been married 4.5 years, shotgun wedding, two kids aged 2 and 4. I'm a teacher and 4 of my coworkers/friends are going to Florida on our spring break. I've asked my husband if I can go with them. We're all women and 4/5 of us are married.

We'll be getting a 2 bedroom place in Destin, just to enjoy ourselves and relax on the beach.  According to my husband, I shouldn't want to go on a trip without him/the kids. He doesn't want me to go and thinks it's weird.

He claims it's morally wrong and makes me feel guilty about having young children and still wanting to go. To me, his behavior is incredibly controlling and insecure. Should I care more about his feelings than going on a vacation? Aren't girls trips and boys trips things normal adults do?

This vacation veto reveals a marriage strained by uneven expectations. The wife, shouldering most household chores while teaching full-time, seeks a well-earned break. Her husband’s objection, cloaked in moralizing, smells more like control, especially since he enjoys his own getaways. His guilt-tripping dismisses her need for rest, a red flag in their dynamic.

Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, stresses, “Equity in partnerships fosters trust and intimacy”. Here, the husband’s double standard—trips for him, but not her—undermines that. Studies show 80% of mothers report feeling overwhelmed by domestic duties, and her heavy load amplifies the need for this break.

The broader issue is autonomy in marriage. Couples thrive when both partners respect each other’s need for personal time. She could propose a calm discussion, outlining how her trip mirrors his and benefits their family’s well-being. Setting clear childcare plans might ease his concerns, though his resistance suggests deeper insecurities.

Couples counseling could help unpack his controlling stance and her resentment. For now, she might assert her right to go, modeling mutual respect for their kids. Small steps, like regular date nights or shared chores, could rebuild balance, ensuring both feel valued in their marriage.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s verdict was swift and sharp. Users rallied behind the wife, calling out her husband’s hypocrisy for enjoying fishing trips while denying her a similar break. Many saw his moralizing as a ploy to avoid solo parenting, urging her to go and address his control issues later. The consensus was clear: fairness in marriage means equal freedom for both.

DanThePepperMan − Oh boy this should be a fun post to read later.

MobilePop2498 − I feel like we need a lot more information…. - does he take guys trips with friends?. - is he concerned about money? - if he works full time, is someone lined up to help watch the kids while he is at work and you are away?.

is he controlling in any other ways or is this the first problem that has come up? Absolutely nothing wrong with girls trips and guys trips. But this is far too little to make a judgment call on.

ThrowRA_k_teacher − OP here, I'm not sure how to edit my original post, but here's more info as requested:. -He goes on 2 or 3 night fishing camping trips with his brothers/friends every year. -I encourage him to hang out with friends but his answer is 'I'd rather be with my family'.

This trip is 4 or 5 nights, not the entire week. -I have never given him reason not to trust me. -We do take family vacations We follow a Dave Ramsey budget system so the money I would be spending on this trip would be my 'play money', and would not affect our family vacation budget I do most all household chores daily

getting kids ready, dropping them at daycare, picking them up, dinner, dishes, laundry, cleaning... he helps, but spends a LOT more time than me doing things he *wants* to do. We have no intentions of going clubbing or anything like that... I just want to have a drink on a beach, reading a book, without being interrupted every minute. I need a break!

Big_Insurance_3601 − I saw her reply about who’s going (40-50s ladies) and it’s Destin!! Anybody here from FL?? Destin is DEAD!!! The only ppl going wild are the retirees on bingo nite🤣

Hubby gets to go on multiple fishing trips w/o her & the kids, it doesn’t affect their budget, AND they can still take a family vacation this year!!! He’s being selfish and doesn’t want to parent by himself. Time for some couples counseling but still go on the trip. You can use this time to prepare him to be a full parent.

Beck2010 − So I just asked my husband. He said, “yeah! Go. Have fun! Wait - are you doing this?” This should be his response, like my husband’s response to the hypothetical question. There is nothing weird or immoral or guilt inducing. It’s healthy to do some things separately from time to time.

crowislanddive − We must nurture friendships like we nurture our families.

HairyPairatestes − Morally wrong? 🙄

[Reddit User] − Just tell him that if you shouldn't want to go on trips without him and the kids then HE shouldn't want to go on trips without you and the kids. So he can wave bye bye to those fishing trips.

And when he tries to tell you that's different just keep looking at him blankly and saying 'I don't see how it's different' keep reiterating that you are BOTH those kids parents and if one of you got to go on trips the other should too.

I have a feeling this is mostly about him not wanting to take care of the kids himself and he'll probably say but you're their mom, and that's when you say but you're their dad. Etc etc. So this trip will be your makeup tripe for his past fishing trips and you can both start the no trip thing when you get back and it's more even.

PsychologyAutomatic3 − Go on the trip. He takes regular trips without the family. You’re entitled to the same. If it’s morally wrong for you to take a trip without the family, the same applies to him.

LEP627 − First concerning OP comment I asked my husband for “permission” to go. If she said I asked if we could swing it financially and with childcare, that would be one thing. Asking permission is not a good thing if you’re over the age of 18.

This beachside standoff proves marriage thrives on give-and-take, not control. The wife’s bid for a break isn’t just about sun and sand—it’s about claiming her right to breathe. By standing her ground, she’s paving the way for a fairer partnership.

Have you faced pushback over personal time in a relationship? Share your stories in the comments—let’s dive into how couples balance freedom and family!

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