Would I be wrong for divorcing my husband who thinks he’s disabled?

A 32-year-old Redditor faces a heart-wrenching dilemma, supporting her marriage alone while her husband battles grief and mental health struggles. After losing his parents, he spiraled into depression, lost jobs, and stopped contributing to their home, leaving her to cover bills and chores. Worse, he admits he no longer loves her, proposing they remain friends.

Her exhaustion is palpable, torn between loyalty and a longing for freedom. Readers feel her struggle, questioning if divorce is her path to relief or too harsh a step. Let’s explore this raw story of love, duty, and tough choices.

‘Would I be wrong for divorcing my husband who thinks he’s disabled?’

Marriage thrives on partnership, but what happens when one spouse becomes a passenger? This Redditor’s tale is a gut-punch, with her husband’s depression and anxiety overshadowing their bond. His refusal to seek proper treatment or contribute to their home—while spending her income on hobbies—feels like a betrayal, especially after admitting he no longer loves her. Her push for divorce is less about abandonment and more about self-preservation.

This reflects a broader issue: caregiver burnout in relationships. A 2022 study from the National Alliance for Caregiving found that 61% of spousal caregivers report emotional strain, often when partners don’t seek help. Here, the husband’s inaction, like not pursuing disability evaluation beyond his PCP, leaves OP carrying an unfair load.

Psychologist Dr. Harriet Lerner, author of The Dance of Anger, says, “You cannot stay connected to someone who refuses to meet you halfway”. Her husband’s retreat into a “friend/roommate” role signals disengagement, forcing OP to choose between her well-being and his dependency. Lerner’s insight suggests OP’s divorce plan is a step toward reclaiming her life.

For solutions, OP could set boundaries, like insisting on therapy or disability applications, but her husband’s resistance makes divorce a valid choice.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit didn’t mince words, dishing out empathy and tough love for OP’s dilemma. Here’s a peek at the community’s take on this marital mess:

These opinions pack a punch, but do they oversimplify the struggle of mental health in marriage? Perhaps the answer lies in a mix of compassion and accountability.

This story leaves us grappling with a tough question: when does staying in a marriage become too heavy a burden? OP’s husband is drowning in grief, but her own dreams are sinking under his inaction. Is divorce the key to her freedom, or should she hold on for change? Share your thoughts: What would you do if your partner stopped being a partner? How do you navigate love when it feels one-sided?