WIBTAH if I take back the truck my fiancé uses, since he would not take the kids to school?

The morning started with chaos, the kind that makes a parent’s heart race—a missed school bus, three kids scrambling, and a fiancé who chose his five-minute commute over their education. In a small town where family comes first, this redditor’s story unfolds with a borrowed pickup truck at the center of a heated debate. Her fury is palpable as she grapples with her fiancé’s decision to leave their children stranded, forcing her mom and a kind sergeant to save the day.

What does it mean to prioritize family? For this mom of three, it’s a question that cuts deep, sparking a fiery discussion on Reddit. With her oldest son missing crucial ROTC practice and her youngest late for tutoring, the stakes feel personal. This tale of clashing priorities invites us to explore love, duty, and the delicate balance of blended families, all wrapped in a relatable, everyday drama.

‘WIBTAH if I take back the truck my fiancé uses, since he would not take the kids to school?’

My(37f) Mom let my family use her small pickup truck since my oldest son 17 got his DL. He stays after school for ROTC twice a week so it has really helped. Our truck, which easily fits our family of 5 people, is in the shop so my fiancé, who works 5 minutes up the road from our house, has been using the truck to go back and forth to work.

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Today all three of our children missed the bus. Instead of bringing them to their schools he decided he was going to just go on to work and leave them home. Our youngest son 11 starts tutoring today after school, my oldest son has ROTC practice today and he is on a special team, so neither one of them could miss today.

My mom had to drive two towns away to come pick up our youngest son and bring him to school and my oldest son's sergeant came and brought my older two boys to school. All three boys were late but my fiance made it to work on time...

I am absolutely Furious and am considering not allowing him to use that truck anymore if he is going to prioritize the job over the kids and school. He would have been maybe 30 to 40 minutes late to work if he would have just brought the kids to school instead they were over an hour late and I had to have two separate individuals come pick them up.

Update: We had a long talk when I got off work tonight. He apologized and said they were arguing at the front door when they missed the bus. He was upset and just went to work. We had several options to make it work, he just was not thinking clearly this morning.

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Update: No he is not like this normally. We did talk and we have agreed on where school/work priorities need to be. They have to go to school or there are consequences, as parents we are responsible for making sure they are there.. Thank you for all of your help!. **Edited for clarity

This family’s truck drama highlights the tricky balance of work and parenting in blended households. When a partner chooses personal convenience over collective responsibility, trust can fray. As Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Small moments of turning toward your partner build trust; turning away erodes it” (Gottman Institute). The fiancé’s choice to prioritize work over the kids’ school run was a clear “turn away,” leaving his partner to pick up the pieces.

The mom’s anger is justified—she’s juggling the emotional and logistical load alone. From the fiancé’s perspective, an argument and work stress clouded his judgment, but his failure to communicate or seek solutions deepened the rift. This isn’t just about a truck; it’s about shared responsibility. Studies show 65% of blended families face conflicts over parenting roles (Pew Research). Clear boundaries, like prioritizing school over work, could prevent this.

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Gottman’s advice emphasizes repairing conflicts through open dialogue, which the couple attempted. The fiancé’s apology is a start, but consistent actions—like valuing the kids’ needs—must follow. For the mom, setting conditions on the truck’s use (e.g., prioritizing school runs) could reinforce accountability. Couples in similar situations should discuss priorities early, ensuring both partners share the load.

To move forward, they could create a family schedule or backup plan for bus mishaps. Engaging the kids in problem-solving, like having the 17-year-old drive when possible, might ease tensions.

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Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit didn’t hold back on this one—here’s a roundup of the spiciest takes, served with a side of humor and skepticism. Buckle up for some candid community wisdom!

yourlittlebirdie − shocking unique sulky caption glorious imagine bored noxious history dazzling. *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with.

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[Reddit User] − Why did they miss the bus? Do they usually miss the bus or is this a one off occurrence?

camellia_s − Info: Are there particular consequences if he’s late to work? Did he give any reason for not driving them beyond not wanting to be late?

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Sidneyreb − Info: Why couldn't 17 walk to your fiancé's workplace and get the truck?

SingleAlfredoFemale − I think a lot of people are missing that this is YOUR ONLY VEHICLE right now, and he intentionally left everyone stranded at home, because he didn’t want to miss his lunch break. That is not OK. It’s not even his truck. NTA

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camellia_s − NTA. Both because 1) he chose not to just give your kids a ride to school, which meant two other people had to step in and deal with an issue he could have totally prevented with under an hour of his own time.

And 2) because once he left them at home, he let it be fully your problem to figure out how to get them there. Even if he absolutely couldn’t take them, he shouldn’t have thrown up his hands. Why wasn’t he making calls to get them a ride? It’s worrying that he seemed to totally blow off having any responsibility for them.

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AbenaGH0209M3 − NTA.. 1. You were home but he didn't wake you up.. 2. He doesn't care for your kids and isn't willing to find solutions to assist them. Are you really going to marry someone who shows how much he doesn't care?. He did this knowing you had a late night grieving and solving problems related to your loss.

MuppetJonBonJovi − NTA- your fiancé is a selfish person. It’s that simple. He’d rather inconvenience you and your three children than himself. A good partner and good parent puts others before themself. He’d rather everyone else scramble to sort things out and potentially miss things that are important to them, than being a few minutes late or maybe not getting to go out to lunch.

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It’s not even that he considered everyones needs equally. He actually put his own wants so far ahead of the family, that he decided that avoiding a VERY minor inconvenience to himself was more important than creating a major inconvenience to everyone else. I’d definitely be considering if this is a one off mistake or part of a larger pattern of behaviour before marrying this guy.

Flat_Contribution707 − NTA but you have a few issues that you need to not only address but find solutions for. First: remind your SO that he lives in a household of 5 people, including 3 kids. He has to consider how his actions impact everyone else.

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Also remind him the vehicle hrs currently using is not his. Your mom can take it away or attach conditions to its use. Point out that she would be within her rights to only allow you and her grandson to drive it. Next, contact the auto ship to get an estimate about how much longer it will be in the shop.

After that, contact the school and the bus company about the inconsistent pick up times. Tell them you understand the driver is new and sometimes stuff happens but you need to know a general time to have the kids at the bus stop.

Majestic-Glass-9451 − Your mom let you use the truck for your 17 year old not the fiance. Fiance works only 5 minutes away then he can walk. Problem solved

These Redditors brought the heat, but do their snap judgments hold up in real life? Or are they just armchair experts venting in the comments?

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This truck tale reminds us that family life is a team sport, where every choice ripples through the household. The mom’s instinct to protect her kids’ education is universal, but the fiancé’s misstep shows how stress can cloud even good intentions. Their talk was a step toward mending fences, but trust rebuilds slowly. What would you do if you were in her shoes—reclaim the truck or give him another chance? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep this conversation rolling!

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