WIBTAH if I quit my job and left the mom without childcare?

Imagine a whirlwind of giggles, toys, and sippy cups, where a nanny juggles five lively girls in a bustling household. Hired for a tidy Monday-Wednesday-Friday gig, this Redditor expected days of childcare and light chores. But three months in, her job morphed into a daily marathon—7 a.m. to late evenings, deep cleaning, homeschooling, and cooking for seven. Exhausted and shortened on pay, she walked away, leaving the mother in a childcare lurch.

This story of overstepped boundaries and broken agreements dives into the chaos of workplace exploitation. It’s a tale that might spark a knowing nod from anyone who’s felt stretched too thin at work, while raising questions about duty, fairness, and standing up for oneself. Will readers side with the nanny’s bold exit or see her as leaving a family in the lurch?

‘WIBTAH if I quit my job and left the mom without childcare?’

I nanny for a family that has 5 girls, ages 8, 6, 4, 2, and 1. I took the job 3 months ago with the understanding that it would be Mon, Wed, Fri, 8am-5pm, and would consist of general childcare, light cleaning, and driving the kids to their daily activities. The job also pays $25 an hour.

Since I started she has expected me to be at the house every day starting at 7am to whenever she gets home, which could be as late as 7pm. She expects me to deep clean her house weekly now, homeschool the 3 oldest, and feed the whole family 3 meals a day.

I'm tired, have little time to do other things in my life like clean my own house and work on my college classes. But if I quit she won't have anyone to watch her kids. She was scrambling to find someone when I took the job, and I'm worried that she won't be able to find someone if I leave.. Would I be the AH if I left?.

*Edit: Update I quit. It started off with trying to negotiate to the original terms of our contract and she seems good with it. Then she shorted me my money by a week of work when she paid me and refused to pay the rest, so I told her I was done.

When a nanny job spirals into a full-time parenting role, it’s no surprise resentment brews. This Redditor’s story shows how quickly agreed-upon boundaries can erode when employers pile on uncompensated duties, leaving her drained and undervalued.

The nanny’s frustration stems from a bait-and-switch: a part-time gig became a daily grind with tasks like homeschooling and deep cleaning, far beyond her contract. The employer’s refusal to pay fully only cemented the exploitation. Career coach Allison Task explains, “Clear boundaries are essential in any job; without them, burnout is inevitable” (Allison Task’s Website). Here, the nanny’s exit was a reclaiming of her worth.

This reflects broader childcare industry issues. A 2022 Care.com report found 51% of nannies face “scope creep,” with employers adding tasks without pay adjustments. Such dynamics often hit young workers hardest, who may feel pressured to comply.

The nanny did right by quitting but could’ve given notice to ease the transition, documenting unpaid hours for potential small claims action.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit didn’t mince words, serving up a buffet of support and sharp insights for the nanny’s plight. From calling out the mother’s exploitation to urging firm boundaries, the community had plenty to say. Here’s the scoop:

Artistic-Tough-7764 − Does she pay you for the extra hours?. if she has put herself in a position that no one wants to work for her, that's on her.. NTA

awkwardsilence1977 − I am guessing the reason she was scrambling to find someone to care for her children is because she treated past nannies the way she is currently treating you. Remind her of what the original agreement was, and that you need to revert to that and keep to it, or you will be tendering your two weeks notice.

CeeYung − Absolutely NTA. This isn’t a nanny job—it’s basically a full-time live-out parent position with unpaid overtime and extra roles she never mentioned. If she can’t find someone else, it’s because what she’s asking for is unreasonable, not because you're doing something wrong.

DharmaDivine − She is using you - $25/hr isn’t nearly enough - so don’t feel bad for quitting.

Salt_Inspection4317 − If you were fired, would she give you time to find another job before letting you go? Would she pay you until you found another job, even if you weren't working for her? She is your boss. She is not your family or your best friend. This is a business relationship. Don't let your emotions cloud your judgement here. She isn't treating you how you agreed to be treated. She'll figure it out.

maroongrad − NTAH You would not be the AH if you just called and told her you took a position elsewhere and won't be there tomorrow. She was scrambling to find someone because I bet she tried to take advantage of the previous employees and they quit on her too. Had she kept to terms of the agreement, you'd continue to work.

She decided to change it around and you are entirely in the right to leave. In the meantime, you can tell her that you will perform the agreed-upon work. You will show up at 8 am. If she is not home by 5 pm, it will be the last day you are there. You will do light cleaning such as picking up toys in the living room and a load or two of laundry, and drive the kids, you will not be doing more than that.

End of story. When she comes in at 5:30, remind her that you will no longer be working for her and go. Get as much of this in text messages as you can, and make sure to send a text stating when you worked and the amount she owes you...you may end up in small claims court to get it.

Ok-Dragonfruit-715 − Back in the 1990s I worked for a female attorney who treated her nannies like this (I was her secretary). I got stung by her a few times myself--picking up her kids from school because her meeting ran over, taking them trick or treating when she was called out of town on Halloween, stuff like that. I lasted about two years and during that time she went through seven nannies. You are NTA here.

Jerseygirl2468 − If you are concerned about the kids or don't necessarily want to leave, you could say

If you do want to leave, just do it. You can put in notice to give her some time, or you can just quit as she is demanding work and time from you far beyond what you agreed to. They are her kids and her responsibility to figure out child care, not yours if you quit.

KrofftSurvivor − You're worried that the woman who is using you won't find anyone else as gullible?!?. How is this your problem?

teresajs − NTA She's taking advantage.  This job is

These Reddit takes are fiery, but do they hit the mark? Is the mom’s childcare crisis her own making, or did the nanny owe her more loyalty?

This nanny’s saga is a masterclass in spotting red flags and drawing a line in the sand. Her exit wasn’t just about quitting—it was about reclaiming her time and worth from a job that demanded too much for too little. The mom’s childcare scramble is a problem of her own making, but it leaves us wondering about balance and fairness at work. Have you ever had to walk away from a job that pushed you too far? Share your story below!

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