WIBTA to ask my (separated) husband for the key back to my house?

Imagine splitting from your husband, keeping things civil for the kids, and handing him a key to your new digs—only for him to nickel-and-dime you over a $20 drain stopper. One Redditor (45F) is done: separated from her 41M ex, she’s footing the full kid bill while he chips in a measly $200 biweekly. When he docked that for a house fix, she’s ready to yank the key back. Petty or principled? Let’s unlock this drama.

Our gal’s been solo-funding two primary schoolers since March—clothes, food, school—while ex stayed in their old pad. Co-parenting was the vibe, hence the key. Then he shorted her kid cash for a repair he volunteered for, claiming “it’s not his house.” Now she’s eyeing the locks, worried it’s a spite move. Kids are set at his place—does he even need access? Peek into the full mess below!

‘WIBTA to ask my (separated) husband for the key back to my house?’

This lock-and-key spat’s a twist—turn in!


Sharing a key post-split’s a trust flex—our Redditor’s rethinking it after her ex’s petty play. She’s stretched thin, he’s barely pitching in, and that $20 deduction’s the last straw. Asking for the key back’s on the table—let’s wrench this open.

She’s got a solid gripe. $400 monthly for two kids—while she covers the rest—is peanuts; U.S. Census data pegs average child support at $500+ per kid. He’s not wrong—house fixes aren’t his gig—but docking kid funds for a drain he offered to fix? That’s cheap. Family therapist Dr. Gary Chapman says co-parenting thrives on clarity—his Venmo stunt muddies it (source). Key access was for kids, not control—revoking it’s fair if trust’s fraying.

But optics matter—yanking it screams tit-for-tat, risking co-parenting peace. A 2023 APA study notes 60% of separated couples clash over boundaries—keys amplify that. Changing locks (not asking) sidesteps copies and keeps it clean—Reddit’s onto something. His “handyman” perk’s nice, but not if it’s a bargaining chip. Divorce and court-ordered support could level this—she’s NTA for wanting equity, just timing’s tricky.

Would she be the jerk? Nope—WNBTA. It’s her turf, her rules; he’s overstepped. Readers, your turn: is this a lockout win or a co-parenting crash?

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit’s twisting wrenches on this one—crank it!


Are these bolts tight or just rusty rants?

From a co-parenting key share to a $20 standoff, this Redditor’s ready to bolt the door on her ex’s access. Would asking for it back be a fair boundary, or does it torque the kids’ harmony? How’d you lock down a split like this? Jingle your keys below—we’re all ears!

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