WIBTA moving out meaning my family would likely be evicted?

In a modest home where tension crackles like static, a 26-year-old woman stands at a crossroads. She’s the breadwinner, footing the bills for her unemployed mother and younger sister, but her mother’s rigid Christian beliefs clash with her love for her transgender girlfriend. When her mother banned her girlfriend from moving in, citing “sin,” the woman drew a line in the sand: move out with her girlfriend or keep funding a home steeped in homophobia. Now, her mother’s silence speaks volumes, and eviction looms.

This Reddit tale, raw and gripping, dives into the heart of family loyalty versus personal freedom. With her sister’s future in mind and her own happiness on the line, the woman’s choice has sparked a firestorm online. Can she break free without guilt, or is she abandoning her family? Let’s unpack this drama with Reddit’s takes and expert insights.

‘WIBTA moving out meaning my family would likely be evicted?’

I (26F) live with my mother (52F) and sister (13F). I pay most of the bills and rent since I have a decently paying job and my mother is unemployed. Last year I started dating my girlfriend (32F). My mother is a very strict christian and doesn't approve at all (side note,

my girlfriend is trans and you'd think that would cancel out because in her eyes she's a man therefore I'm in a heterosexual relationship... but logic doesn't seem to apply in christianity since I guess that just makes us double gay in her eyes) but since I pay the bills she can't really strong arm me into breaking up with her.

Recently my girlfriend needed a place to stay because her apartment building was being renovated so I told my mother that I wanted her to stay with us. Predictably she completely freaked out at the idea saying that she would not be having sin under her roof.

I reminded her that I'm paying most of the rent and living expenses but she refused to budge saying that it would be a bad influence for my sister (who is very comfortably straight anyway). The conversation ended there but I wasn't just going to leave my girlfriend hanging. My mother being as controlling as she is had the lease be in her name even though I'm the one actually paying for it.

So I talked with my girlfriend about the situation and we decided to just find a new place together. We also agreed that my sister could live with us for free if our mother lets us. I brought up the new plan to my mother. She did not take it well at all. Asked me what she was supposed to do.

I told her that my sister is welcome to stay with us but she would have to figure something out for herself, or she could decide to stop choosing to be h**ophobic (she loves saying we choose to be gay) and let my girlfriend move in. She's since shut herself up in her room and isn't talking to me or my sister.

I told my sister what was going on and hugged her and promised she'd always be welcome to stay with me if I end up moving out. The current plan is: If my mother doesn't budge I suspect she will end up homeless and I will then be able to call cps to make sure my sister ends up with me. I feel really guilty that it has to go this way but I've spent my entire life putting up with her homophobia and I'm sick of it.

Navigating family dynamics with a controlling, homophobic parent is like walking a tightrope over a canyon. The woman’s decision to move out stems from her mother’s refusal to accept her transgender girlfriend, despite the daughter’s financial support. Her mother’s stance—rooted in religious dogma—creates a toxic environment, while the daughter’s offer to house her sister shows her commitment to family despite the rift.

This situation mirrors broader struggles with homophobia in families. A 2023 Pew Research study found that 40% of LGBTQ+ adults face family rejection, often tied to religious beliefs, impacting mental health and autonomy (Pew Research). The mother’s unemployment and reliance on her daughter add a power imbalance, making her control attempts particularly unfair.

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Dr. Ryan Sultan, a psychiatrist specializing in family dynamics, notes, “When a parent uses religion to justify rejecting a child’s identity, it often masks control, not faith” (Psychology Today). This applies here: the mother’s refusal to compromise, despite her daughter’s generosity, prioritizes ideology over practicality. Her silence now suggests guilt or defiance, not reflection.

For solutions, experts suggest setting firm boundaries while offering limited support. The woman’s plan to involve CPS for her sister is proactive, ensuring her safety. She could explore low-income housing options for her mother, as suggested by Reddit, but isn’t obligated to fund her indefinitely. Open communication with her sister about the move can ease the transition, reinforcing that her love remains steadfast.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit rolled in like a thunderstorm, delivering a mix of cheers and sharp truths. From applauding the woman’s stand to roasting her mother’s entitlement, the comments are a lively barbecue of opinions. Here’s the raw scoop:

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C8H10N4O2Addiction − Nta. I was going to suggest you possibly have your sister stay with you, but you ended up mentioning that. I think it's a sound plan. Shes an adult and there should be help put there for her to find low income housing.

SirDarknessTheFirst − NTA. You are very rarely the a**hole for choosing to move out. You are a good person for choosing to take care of your sister if you can. Best of luck to you three. Don't forget that, you are an adult, and you are free to move out as you wish. You gave your mother plenty of warning and options and she turned it down.

Barrel-Of-Tigers − NTA She’s TA for trying to simultaneously be h**ophobic and stop your girlfriend from moving in *and* demand your money to fund her lifestyle. She’s still got the option to apologise and not end up being unable to pay the bills, and you’re still willing to house your sister if she can’t. So I’d say you’re being incredibly forgiving and reasonable about this all and drawing a line is totally understandable.

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iHolloway − NTA Handled the situation with leaving the final choice to be on your mother. Keeping your sister a priority is great, just make sure you understand the process of getting CPS involved (getting CPS involved is 100% the right call, just saying make sure you understand the ins and outs prior to your mother making a decision). Sorry for the unfortunate situation.

verloren918 − Definitely NTA. I've been there, being an adult supporting a controlling mother, and it's really f**king difficult to get out of that situation. But here's the thing that these types of parents don't seem to realize: eventually, you have to start living your own life. You have a way out, so stick to the plan.

*Cling* to the plan. You are not a bad person for trying to live your own life at 26 years old, regardless of what she may try to tell you. She's an adult who is responsible for herself and her teenage child. It's not up to you to take on that responsibility, and she's lucky you've done it for this long, but you have to move on. It's time for her to grow the f**k up and take care of her own business.

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Wambol − NTA, If your mother disapproves of you and your life, she shouldn't expect to be supported by it. you are even offering to take care of your sister in the fallout, only a victim by happenstance. your mother has every right to bar your girlfriend from entering her house, it is her place after all, but you have no obligation to stay there.

[Reddit User] − NTA, why doesn't your mother have a job???

AnarchoNAP − NTA. You are already going above and beyond by not just moving out because you’re 18+. You are giving your mom, a grown ass adult, every opportunity to continue to be supported. She doesn’t get to have someone else pay the bills and make the rules. If she chooses to hate you over having a free place to stay that’s on her.

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[Reddit User] − NTA your mom is a hateful hateful woman who is using christianity as a way to hurt you and to literally hold you down. Leave. Take the sister as well, probably won’t get a case because CPS doesn’t do h**ophobic behavior as a abusive procedure/process. But yeah leave man, tell your mom that she either cleans up her act and let the gf live here or be homeless. Either way, do not feel guilty. She’s 52 and doesn’t have any work lined up?

Nexxisvain − NTA. What bills is she paying to be telling you who you can and can't have in your own home? I get the place is legally hers. But morally it's yours. Your pay for it and you're an adult. I can't believe she feels entitled to YOUR money and has the gall to try and tell you she refuses to let your girlfriend stay.

Even in any other situation if you're paying to put a roof over her head she doesn't get to argue about who else is there, regardless of her personal feelings. She can think whatever she wants but she can keep her mouth shut at the very least out of gratitude.

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If she was so worried about your sister catching the big gay, then she should've probably stepped up as an adult and got her own place rather than rely on her adult child. You should get your own place with your GF and let your sister stay with you. You're NTA at all. She's responsible for herself and if she's not respectful to you or your girlfriend, and clearly not grateful for all you do, then she burned that bridge on her own. Don't feel guilty at all.

These Redditors backed her right to live authentically, urging her to prioritize her girlfriend and sister. But do their fiery takes capture the full weight of family ties, or are they just fanning the flames?

This story cuts deep, exposing the clash between love, duty, and personal freedom. The woman’s choice to move out isn’t just about escaping homophobia—it’s about claiming her life while still shielding her sister. Her mother’s refusal to evolve may cost her a home, but the daughter’s guilt shouldn’t chain her to a toxic setup. Have you faced a similar battle between family and self? What would you do in her shoes? Share your thoughts below!

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