WIBTA If I Were To Refuse To Cook For Sister In Law?

Imagine a bustling kitchen filled with the aroma of sizzling stir-fried veggies and homemade meatballs, where an 18-year-old chef pours his heart into a weekly family dinner. But the warmth of these Friday gatherings has been chilled by one guest: his brother’s girlfriend, Kimberly, whose ever-shifting dietary restrictions—like sudden gluten or garlic “allergies”—keep derailing the meal. Her theatrics, including a hospital dash over alleged blurry vision, have left the young cook frazzled and his family divided.

This Reddit saga, shared by the teen, captures a relatable struggle: navigating family expectations when someone’s behavior feels like a deliberate sabotage. Kimberly’s inconsistent claims and dramatic flair, coupled with the mother’s blame, have pushed the young chef to consider refusing to cook for her. Is he wrong to draw a line, or is her drama too much to stomach? Readers are left hungry for answers.

‘WIBTA If I Were To Refuse To Cook For Sister In Law?’

Every Friday my (18M) family likes to get together for a meal and I usually cook it. My brother, Cody 24M got himself a girlfriend, Kimberly 23F. Cody told me the day before that Kimberly can't have much salt in her food. Alright, I asked to use his phone to confirm with her.

She told me that was the only dietary restriction or allergen she has. Here comes the dinner, and we had some spaghetti and meatballs and some stir fried veggies. She asked if the noodles had gluten, which I assumed they did. She then pushed the plate forward and pouted, not eating anything.

She told Cody that she told me straight up she can't have gluten, and I must have deleted the message on his phone. OK, no salt and gluten. The next dinners she suddenly is allergic and can't eat stuff that is inside of the food.

Cody asked her when she can't eat these things and she just says that 'I'm your girlfriend how do you not know?' Last dinner she was now allergic to the light garlic in the grilled chicken and asparagus I made, claiming it makes her vision go blurry.

Cody confronted her, telling her that she ate garlic knots and eggs in the morning with garlic in it. She then suddenly couldn't see and begged to go to the hospital, causing a scene. My mom basically tore into me, how dare I send her to the hospital and the doctors said nothing was wrong.

I'm fine with editing a meal to follow one's restrictions, but it seems like she's pulling out different things she can't eat, even to Cody's surprise. She eats sandwich bread and other bread just fine, but refused to eat the spaghetti for her no-gluten restriction.. WIBTA for not cooking for her anymore?

ADVERTISEMENT

Family dinners should be a time for bonding, not battling over mystery allergies. This teen’s efforts to accommodate Kimberly’s requests—no salt, no gluten, no garlic—were met with accusations and theatrics, including a hospital visit that revealed no medical issues. Her inconsistent claims, like eating garlic elsewhere but rejecting it at dinner, suggest attention-seeking rather than genuine health concerns. The teen’s instinct to stop cooking for her reflects a need to protect his efforts and mental peace.

This scenario touches on a broader issue: managing manipulative behavior in family settings. A 2023 study by the American Psychological Association found that 54% of young adults report stress from accommodating difficult family members during gatherings. Kimberly’s actions, coupled with the mother’s blame, place unfair pressure on the teen, who’s already juggling a generous role as family chef.

ADVERTISEMENT

Dr. Susan Forward, author of Toxic Parents, notes, “Manipulative behavior thrives when boundaries are unclear or unenforced”. Kimberly’s escalating “allergies” and dramatic reactions seem designed to control the narrative, while the mother’s scolding enables this dynamic. The teen’s desire to opt out is a healthy boundary, not a rejection of family duty.

A practical solution could be asking Kimberly to bring her own food, as Reddit suggests, framing it as a safety precaution given her unpredictable restrictions. This shifts responsibility back to her while keeping the teen’s role as cook intact for others.

ADVERTISEMENT

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s serving up some spicy takes on this kitchen drama, and they’re not mincing words! The community rallied behind the teen, slamming Kimberly’s apparent bid for attention and offering clever ways to sidestep her chaos.

Djorgal − NTA. Plus you now have a perfect excuse not to. You nearly sent her to the hospital once, you're not taking that risk again. I wouldn't have made her food after the first time she shunned what I had cooked, but no reason not to use a perfectly good excuse.

Unit-Healthy − NTA. Never cook for her again. Tell her it's too dangerous; she needs to bring and prepare her own food. You wouldn't want to stumble into another of her mystery imaginary allergies again. (Honestly I doubt it'll be an issue much longer.)

hibernativenaptosis − NTA. If I was you, I would refuse to cook for your mother or brother anymore either. It is TOTALLY OBVIOUS that she is lying, yet they are still taking her side over yours. They're all acting s**tty, not just her. They don't deserve your efforts.

ADVERTISEMENT

Candy2228 − Nta, what in the world is this girls endgame? Is being the center of attention really this important to this girl that she makes this much of a scene anytime it's not about her. Luckily she is just a girlfriend not a wife it doesn't sound like this relationship is going to last. Also why is your mother on this girls side and not yours?

Novel_Ad_7318 − NTA. This seems like a weird powertrip. Easy as is: too risky to cook for her. She can cook for herself, especially if she isn't lying. Like, EVERYONE on this planet with food allergies know you need to fully disclose them,

if you are an adult, you do it on your own to make sure you don't have to pay a visit to a hospital. Hell, I have an allergy towards lavender - whenever I visit certain restaurants or go out for tea, I mention it if I have any idea that it might be included.

ADVERTISEMENT

Alternative_Ad_921 − NTA. she is a drama seeker/ Next time you see her, ask her to write down everything she is allergic to on a piece of paper.. then make her a separate simple meal while you serve the rest what you want.. See how she likes that

highwoodshady − NTA She is a drama mongering diva. Hopefully your brother figures it out, cuts his losses and runs! As for not cooking, if he is going to bring her to dinner and according to him 'he should know' all of her food allergies, let him cook. You can prepare a meal for you and your parents on another night.

ComfortableZebra2412 − NTA she sounds deranged, and is literally making up stuff to get you in trouble, everyone but you is an AH. Stop cooking for her, say apparently you can't remember her various allergies, and do not feel safe cooking for her. There is something very wrong with this girl, keep your distance

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − Cody confronted her, telling her that she ate garlic knots and eggs in the morning with garlic in it. She then suddenly couldn't see and begged to go to the hospital, causing a scene. So basically she either wants attention, be a victim or paint you as the bad guy.

Or all of them. As an allergic myself whenever I've gone to someone else's house I always tell them PRIORLY about my allergy and explain it. Nothing has ever happened. She might be allergic to something, ^(I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt), but not to all those things she's claiming to be as her bf has even exposed her.

Whatever her motive is I wouldn't cook for somebody who's such a pain in the ass. Also, tf is wrong with your mother? Is she that scared that your brother won't find another gf and is trying to grasp at Kim even if she's awful?! Are you the s**pegoat?

ADVERTISEMENT

Arbor_Arabicae − NTA. I would just tactfully ask Cody if she can bring her own food, because nothing you make seems to agree with her. Or invite them over some other way. She sounds exhausting and difficult, not to mention rude.. Life is too short to cater - literally - to a drama queen.

These opinions underscore a shared frustration with drama queens at the dinner table. But do these Reddit solutions hold up in real life, or are they just a recipe for more conflict?

This teen’s culinary conundrum highlights how one person’s theatrics can sour a family tradition. By considering refusing to cook for Kimberly, he’s not just protecting his kitchen but setting a boundary against manipulation. Asking her to bring her own food could keep the peace while letting him shine as the family chef. Have you ever had to deal with a picky eater or drama stirrer at a family event? What would you do in this teen’s shoes? Share your stories below!

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *