WIBTA if I told them no vaccine = no grandparent time?

A nursery sits ready, soft blankets folded, but tension brews like a storm on the horizon. A 30-weeks-pregnant woman, glowing with anticipation, lays down a firm rule: anyone meeting her newborn must have flu and TDAP vaccines. Her husband nods but winces, dreading family drama. His anti-vaxxer sister has swayed his parents against shots, and now they hesitate, threatening their grandparent privileges.

For this mom-to-be, it’s about shielding her baby from harm, not stirring conflict. Yet her husband calls her overprotective, and she’s fuming, feeling alone in prioritizing their son’s safety. Is she too strict, or is this a justified stand for her child’s health? Readers, step into this delicate dance of family ties and tough choices.

‘WIBTA if I told them no vaccine = no grandparent time?’

So, my SIL is an antivaxxer. I normally don’t care bc it’s her choice. However, the issue is that she’s somehow wormed her way into her parent’s ear and now they (FIL and MIL) are hesitant to get any vaccine. Why is that an issue? Bc I’m 30 weeks pregnant, and I’m asking anyone who wants to be around my baby to get the flu shot and the TDAP.

My DH supports this, but also doesn’t like confrontation. While he understands where I’m coming from, he also doesn’t think it’s fair for me to ban his parents and sister from seeing our soon to be son. He says I’m being over protective and that I’m accusing him of not caring about the baby.

And at this point, he’s not wholly wrong. I’m so irritated at him over this. Everyone on my side of the family has already been vaccinated. He’s been vaccinated. I’ve been vaccinated. His family hasn’t/ probably won’t vaccinate.

I don’t want them around my baby for more than an hour at the official meeting until he’s 2 months old (booster start for tdap). So, WIBTA if I told them that if they choose not to get vaccinated, then they’re choosing not to see him until he’s 2 months old? Am I being the a**hole and putting unnecessary restrictions on seeing my son?

Protecting a newborn is like guarding a fragile flame, and this mom’s vaccine rule is a shield against real risks. Her in-laws’ hesitation, influenced by her anti-vaxxer sister-in-law, pits personal beliefs against medical consensus. Her husband’s reluctance to confront his family adds strain, framing her as the “bad guy” for prioritizing safety.

This taps into a broader issue: vaccine hesitancy in families. A 2023 CDC report notes that 25% of U.S. adults express vaccine skepticism, often fueled by misinformation, endangering vulnerable populations like infants. Newborns can’t receive TDAP until 2 months, making adult vaccinations critical.

Dr. Paul Offit, a pediatric infectious disease expert, states, “Vaccines like TDAP and flu shots are essential to protect infants from preventable diseases like whooping cough, which can be deadly.” Her stance is backed by science, not overreach. She could offer resources to educate her in-laws while holding firm.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit didn’t hold back, serving up fiery takes with a sprinkle of sass. Here’s what they had to say:

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asmallman - NTA. Child safety Really misinformed beliefs.

Tr3bl3F0rt3 - NTA. What anti-vaxxers fail to realize is that yes, you do have a choice about your body. But everyone else does, too. Freedom of choice does not equate to freedom from consequences. You have every right to set those boundaries and enforce them. You've laid out the choices and the consequences. All that's left is for them to choose.

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[Reddit User] - NTA. I did the same damn thing. And guess what??? Those who cared for us went and got the damn vaccine. Those who didn't aren't allowed in my house.. It's gotten a lot quieter since then, and two years later, I still haven't caved to the anti-vaxx crazies.

greenbastardette - NTA.. He says I’m being over protective and that I’m accusing him of not caring about the baby. He doesn't care about the baby, he cares about not having to have an uncomfortable conversation and then having to maintain a strict boundary.. You're raising a baby AND you married one, too. Sorry. NTA.

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deadlyhausfrau - NTA. Doctors recommend that anyone going to see a new baby have those vaccinations because the baby won't have been vaccinated yet. Stay firm on this. Every time they ask you why you won't let them see the baby tell them they are welcome as soon as they show up with their vaccination record.

Tell your husband that your child's health is more important than his aversion to confrontation and if you find that he is going around your back to let unvaccinated people see your new human that this will be a major betrayal. Full disclosure I have a high school acquaintance whose child died of the flu which she caught from a JW antivaxxer relative

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and she has been a hot drunken mess for the last 20 years as a result. Doctors back then weren't recommending that people keep their babies secluded until their vaccinations were done. Because of this I am vigorously a supporter of protecting babies over protecting hurt feelings of anti science people.

grw313 - NTA. First of all, f**k anti vaxxers. You are giving their views way more respect than they deserve. Second of all, its common to require people be vaccinated before seeing a baby. You are acting in the best interest of the baby,

which as a parent, is something you have to do. Its unfortunate your husband doesn't feel the same way. There are going to be some serious problems in your relationship if he doesn't learn how to stand up to his family.

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mckinnos - NTA at all, in my opinion. Hold dangerous, stupid ideas, suffer the consequences. You are being wholly reasonable and your in-laws are TAs for putting their dumb ideas over your baby’s health. I believe your DH is in the wrong here.

threedogcircus - NTA If you don’t protect your baby, who will? I wouldn’t budge on this at all. No unvaccinated person should be around an unvaccinated infant.

NotZombieJustGinger - NTA getting TDAP and Flu shots is one of the easiest and cheapest ways to prevent serious illness and death. If they won’t do this, don’t let them near the baby until a doctor tells you it’s safe. Also, I would start emailing them videos of babies with whooping cough.

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kiraIsuAlivr - NTA.. Your kid's health is waaaaaaay too important.. No way you are the a**hole for looking out for your cradle midget.

These bold opinions beg a cheeky question: are they right to rally behind her, or is there room for compromise in this family showdown?

This mom’s stand is a fierce act of love, placing her baby’s health above hurt feelings. Reddit’s “NTA” chorus backs her, but her husband’s hesitation leaves us pondering: when does protecting a child outweigh family harmony? Her rule isn’t about exclusion—it’s about survival in a world of preventable risks. Have you ever set a tough boundary for safety’s sake? What would you do in her shoes? Share your thoughts below!

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