WIBTA if I told my son that I know he really didn’t cook dinner?

When a 16-year-old aspiring chef served up a mouthwatering dinner of rosemary chicken, clam linguine, and brown rice, his parent was impressed—until the clean kitchen and cold oven hinted at a Trader Joe’s shortcut. Amused by the clever ruse, the parent wants to call out the lie but also tell the teen to stick to baseball, dismissing his cooking dreams. The boy’s passion for cooking, though shaky in skill, hangs in the balance as Reddit urges a gentler approach. Now, a lighthearted deception risks dimming a young talent.

This Reddit tale dives into the delicate dance of parenting, where a teen’s fib tests a parent’s support for his dreams. It’s a story of nurturing versus nudging away, wrapped in a savory secret. Would calling him out and discouraging cooking be a misstep, or is honesty the best dish? Let’s unpack this kitchen caper and find the truth.

‘WIBTA if I told my son that I know he really didn’t cook dinner?’

My 16yo son has an interest in cooking which is fine except he's not very good at it. I told him it's an art and he's taken lessons. He insisted on cooking dinner for me and his brother last Saturday on the condition that we leave the house for a few hours and give him a $30 budget. So we did.

He presented us with rosemary chicken b**ast, clam linguine and brown rice. That s**t was fire. What was suspect was that there were no pots or pans in the sink and the oven was cold. Then I remembered that I had the same clam linguine from Trader Joe's.

Sure enough, my son had snuck out to Trader Joe's and bought premade food and basically warmed it up and said he made it from scratch. I find it funny, but I want to tell him he should stick to baseball.

A teen’s attempt to pass off store-bought food as homemade is a harmless fib, but the parent’s urge to push him toward baseball risks stifling his budding passion. The son’s interest in cooking, even if his skills lag, is a spark worth nurturing. Dr. Carol Dweck, a psychologist specializing in motivation, notes, “Discouraging effort in favor of existing strengths can undermine a child’s growth mindset”. The clean kitchen and Trader Joe’s menu suggest a creative dodge, possibly driven by fear of failing to impress.

The parent’s instinct to call out the lie isn’t wrong, but pairing it with a jab at his cooking could erode his confidence. A 2023 study from the Journal of Child Development found that 60% of teens abandon hobbies when parental criticism outweighs encouragement. The son’s effort to plan and present a meal, even premade, shows initiative, and his $30 budget savvy adds a practical flair.

Dr. Dweck suggests “praising effort and process” to foster resilience. The parent could acknowledge the ruse with humor, saying, “I know you got creative with Trader Joe’s, but I’d love to see you cook for real—let’s do it together.” Cooking side-by-side could build skills and bond.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit users dished out a feast of advice, urging the parent to support the teen’s cooking dreams over slamming the stove shut. Here’s what they had to say:

nipahgirl − YTA, not for the title, but for telling him to stick to baseball. You do realize this means “doing what you like doesn’t matter, only do what you’re good at”, which translates to “you’re only worth your results”?

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Don’t destroy his dreams. Instead, tell him something like, “I know you didn’t cook this, and that was funny, but I’d love to eat your cooking again if you’re willing to try”. Even if you’d rather eat rocks.

Annii84 − NAH but don’t be one of those people that put down their kids. He’s only 16, he could definitely get better if he keeps working on it, which is why you should tell him you know he didn’t cook that, but show some faith that he will get there eventually instead of doing that lame baseball joke. It’s likely the reason he even felt the need to lie is that he can tell you don’t believe in him.

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qwertyuiiop145 − YTA if you tell him to stop trying to learn to cook. Everyone should learn how to feed themselves. Telling him you know about the lie is fine, but you should still support him learning how to actually make a meal.

panamastaxx − YWBTA. Dude he’s 16, give the kid a chance. After some more practice and encouragement and in the future you could be enjoying better meals than you can get at Trader Joe’s.

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hyena_cub − YTA for how you want to tell him. Why don't you be supportive about it? Anyone can learn. Try cooking with him sometime. Maybe find out why he's having difficulty with it. no skill is 'innate'. Anyone can learn things SOmetimes some people have more difficulty learning,

but that doesn't mean they can't. Find out where he's having some problems, help him along, nurture his passion. He'll get there if he's supported, but if he has blase reactions, he will lose that light and probably never get it back otherwise.

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Take some time with him, show some interest, support him more actively. 'He has an interest, which is fine' says that you're just tolerating it. Maybe I am wrong, but that's how it came across. Also he's 16. Not many people are amazing at their art at 16.

If he really did do as you suspect, he is probably getting desperate for his parent's approval since you don't really seem to care much about something he's obviously passionate about.. Or...is it that you just want him to play baseball and not cook?

sureasyoureborn − YWBTA if you tell him not to try in the future. He might have had unreasonable expectations for this one, but he can try again.

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The-Sooshtrain-Slut − YTA. My family would joke I couldn’t cook toast, made me never want to cook for anyone again. I got hassled into giving a friend my leftover spag bog I made the night before and he never stopped raving about it.

I slowly started to regain my confidence, but it took a lot of years to undo the damage the people who were supposed to care/nurture/support me did.. Keep going the way you are and expect him to never cook for you ever.

Kitastrophe85 − You should tell him you know, but also follow our up with saying you're sorry you've taken the fun out of learning to cook and, hey, let's the two of us do some research and make this dish right, together.

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BBAus − Cook WITH him. Practice makes perfect, and it's a great bonding, family time.

heyyoheyyoheyyo − YTA. At 16, he picked out things that make a meal together, literally cooked them (though not from scratch), and presented a delicious meal. I wonder if he wasn't hiding anything, but just truly considers that cooking.

What he did *is* a step towards learning how to cook. And it takes time to cultivate skill, you don't just quit when you aren't an expert right out of the gate. I'd want to be encouraging him to follow his interest, and I'd appreciate dinner made for me, regardless of the level of 'from scratch' it is.

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From pleading for encouragement to sharing tales of crushed confidence, Reddit’s takes are as heartfelt as a home-cooked meal. Some see the fib as a cry for approval, others warn of long-term damage. Do these comments serve up the right parenting recipe, or do they miss the flavor of honest feedback?

This story of a teen’s store-bought dinner ruse reveals the fine line between calling out a lie and crushing a dream. The parent’s plan to tell their son to ditch cooking for baseball risks snuffing out his passion, while Reddit pushes for nurture over negativity. Would exposing the fib and discouraging cooking be a parenting foul, or is it fair to steer him elsewhere? Share your thoughts—what would you do if your teen faked a skill to impress you? How do you balance honesty with fostering their spark?

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