WIBTA if I told my friend her lips look bad?

Picture a cozy coffee shop, laughter bubbling as friends swap stories over steaming mugs. One woman’s smile falters, though, as her bestie swipes on lipstick that screams “too much.” It’s not just makeup—it’s a bold line drawn way past her natural lips, turning heads for all the wrong reasons. Torn between loyalty and honesty, she wonders: should she speak up or let her friend rock her new look, even if it’s raising eyebrows?

Friendship thrives on truth, but it’s a tricky dance when feelings are at stake. This woman’s dilemma isn’t about judging a lip liner—it’s about whether a gentle nudge could save her friend from cringe-worthy moments or bruise her confidence instead. Readers might feel that tug-of-war themselves: when does caring mean staying quiet, and when does it mean saying the tough thing?

‘WIBTA if I told my friend her lips look bad?’

I have a very close friend who has recently started overlining her top lip… like REALLY overlining it. She has pretty thin lips and it’s painfully obvious that she’s basically trying to double her lip by putting lipstick above her lip. It does not look good, and multiple of my friends have agreed with me that it’s too much and not flattering.

I brought up telling her and they said not to, that it makes her happy and if she thinks it looks good that’s all that matters. While I agree with them on that, if I were her, I would want someone to tell me that my makeup looked bad. I had a friend gently tell me years ago that I needed to pluck my eyebrows and it quite literally changed my life.

I don’t want to hurt her feelings, and how she wants do to her makeup doesn’t affect my life, but if the majority of our friends thinks it looks bad, should I tell her to avoid further embarrassment? UPDATE: lots of great advice here! If it comes up naturally then I’ll say something to her but will probably leave it alone.

Also, it seems I’m being labeled the a**hole for talking to other friends about it and I wanted to clear up that the conversation I had was with 4 of my close friends while we were doing makeup, and I brought up “has anyone else noticed X’s lip liner? It’s really a lot and I want to say something to her about it.”

It was probably a 1 minute conversation that never came up again and I was in no way trying to degrade my friend for her lip style, but trying to see if I was the only one who had this opinion. Maybe I am an AH for that, but I personally hate when people are so quick to condemn gossip when it’s something that has been around and literally fueling.

And sustaining female social circles for CENTURIES (did part of my masters focus on gossip within renaissance social circles). I’m not going to act like I don’t talk about people when they aren’t around, and I don’t like the commenters who act high and mighty when they are probably guilty of the same thing <3

Friendship dramas over makeup might sound trivial, but they hit deep when trust is on the line. This woman sees her friend’s overlined lips as a style misstep—think cartoonish rather than chic—and worries it’s a public flop. Her instinct to speak up comes from care, like when a pal’s eyebrow tip changed her own game. But her friends’ advice to zip it highlights the risk: what if honesty tanks her friend’s vibe?

She’s caught between two truths. Her friend might feel fabulous, embracing a bold look that’s hers alone. Yet, if whispers are circling, a heads-up could spare embarrassment. The clash is real—confidence versus perception. A 2022 Psychology Today piece notes that honest feedback strengthens bonds when timed right (psychologytoday.com). Timing’s everything here.

Makeup artist Bobbi Brown advises, “Enhance what you have—don’t fake what’s not there” (bobbibrowncosmetics.com). Overlining can work, but subtlety is key. If this friend’s look screams “obvious,” Brown might suggest blending better or trying gloss for pop. The woman’s heart is in the right place, but delivery matters.

Instead of a blunt call-out, she could try a soft approach—maybe during a makeup sesh, suggesting a lighter liner with a smile. Complimenting her friend’s natural features could nudge her toward balance without sting. Readers, how do you drop a truth bomb kindly—spill it straight or sugarcoat it?

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit dove into this one like it was a makeup tutorial gone wild, tossing out quips and wisdom with equal flair. Here’s the scoop from the crowd:

FlaberGas-Ted − I told my sister not to draw her eyebrows so high. She looked surprised.. I’ll see myself out.

Moondancer99 − It is OK to say it once, gently and when she is at home and could do something about it.

TheGirlOnFireAndIce − IF you're going to bring it up, I'd try to find a situation where you're getting ready or touching up makeup together and potentially mention it framed as her lip liners

It Is nice to have the honest friend but there's also a chance she won't be ready to hear it without being defensive if you take more of a

RichCaterpillar991 − Take some photos next time you hang out and be sure to get a candid photo of her from the side (preferably in direct sunlight), then send her all the photos. People who overline their lips don’t realize how weird it looks from the side and seeing some candid photos in natural lighting might be a wake up call. Don’t say anything or worry about it too much though. Remember, it might look bad but if she likes it, she likes it. It’s her lips

HalfPowerful4109 − NTA for wanting to help her out, but if she likes it and feels confident that way then you should leave her be! down the road you could gently suggest a new method, “you’d look great with that lip liner” “that style of makeup would really suit you!” something like that.

don’t just outright tell her it looks s**t even if you feel like you’re helping. or when she’s not wearing any, compliment her lips and emphasize how good they look naturally (don’t over do it though.) and don’t talk to your friends about it anymore 😢 that would hurt her feelings

CaryWhit − All ladies really need an honest friend. You may not be her friend for long but some people need to hear the truth.

markmcgee31 − It’s understandable that you want to help, but makeup is personal. If she feels confident, that’s what matters most. You could offer advice if she asks, but unless she’s worried about it, it’s best not to bring it up - especially to avoid hurting her feelings.

colisocol − NTA but unfortunately this is a canon event she must experience. definitely stop talking about it with other people tho because that's a little bit TA behavior. everyone experiments with makeup in some way or another, and everyone goes through a bad makeup phase. she's experimenting!

although I will say, that nyx fat oil lip gloss stuff makes me look like I just got filler (in a natural way) according to the few girls who have asked me for my injector when I wear it. it's cheap at the chemist or d**g store. maybe recommend that product to her,

and tell her it's super easy to put on and will make her lips look juicy as hell without needing to worry about drawing the lip liner back on throughout the day. the problem with over lining (which I used to do too) is that makeup comes off your mouth first, and leaves you with a weird faded ring around your lips that you constantly need to touch up for it to not look ridiculous.

lonecarpenter − NTA. as long as you don't try to make her insecure, telling your friend that some style isn't working for her isn't really bad. try not to mention everybody is talking about it, though. it might make her really insecure

The_Truth_Fairy − This is where it just really depends on personality. I have some friends that absolutely would want to know. I, personally, would be sad to know someone had helpful advice and chose not to share that information.

However, I have other friends who would be really upset at unsolicited comments about their faces. There is no right or wrong here because everyone is different. If you don't know your friend well enough to know which preference she has for this kind of information I would not say anything until you know her better.

These takes blend sass and sense, but do they nail the heart of this lip liner saga? There’s probably a shade more to consider.

This friend’s makeup dilemma isn’t just about lips—it’s about the courage to speak up and the wisdom to know when silence shines. Her urge to help clashes with the risk of hurt, proving friendship’s no catwalk. Whether she talks or not, it’s clear she cares. Ever faced a pal’s style slip you couldn’t ignore? How’d you handle it—let us know your moves!

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