WIBTA if I tell my mother I don’t go to costco with her because she’s a Karen?

The fluorescent lights of Costco buzzed overhead as a 22-year-old trailed behind their mother, watching her unleash a tirade on staff over a two-minute line and “melting” frozen goods. Her entitled outbursts—demanding employees’ names, threatening to call corporate, and berating workers during a pandemic—left her child mortified, whispering apologies to strangers. Vowing never to shop with her again, they’ve dodged her Costco invites for months, but now she’s pressing for answers. With a confrontation looming and their father urging silence to avoid her verbal abuse, the question looms: would calling out her behavior make them the bad guy?

This story of family tension and public embarrassment captures the struggle of living with a confrontational parent. Balancing honesty with household peace, their dilemma asks: when does speaking truth outweigh keeping the boat steady?

‘WIBTA if I tell my mother I don’t go to costco with her because she’s a Karen?’

This Costco clash is a raw snapshot of navigating a parent’s narcissistic behavior while trapped under the same roof. The mother’s public outbursts—screaming at staff, demanding names, and dismissing criticism—reflect traits of narcissistic personality disorder, which a 2021 study from the American Psychological Association links to low empathy and heightened entitlement, affecting 6% of the population. Her refusal to accept fault, even when confronted, and the family’s pattern of avoiding conflict to dodge verbal abuse align with dynamics often seen in households with such personalities.

Your past frustration with family members overstepping boundaries, like your sister’s irresponsible car use or your mother’s overbearing involvement in appointments, echoes here, highlighting your sensitivity to fairness and respect. The mother’s behavior isn’t just embarrassing—it’s harmful to staff and family alike. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a narcissism expert, notes in a Psychology Today article, “Confronting a narcissist often backfires without a strategic approach, especially if they’re in denial.” Given her history of rejecting therapy and lashing out, a direct confrontation risks escalating household tension, as your father fears.

Instead, consider a softer approach during the planned behavior talk, framing your feelings around how her actions affect you emotionally, like, “I feel embarrassed and stressed when there’s conflict with staff.” This avoids labeling her and might open a small window for dialogue. Documenting incidents, as suggested by Redditors, could help if you pursue professional intervention later. Long-term, moving out, as you’re planning, is key to setting boundaries, especially given the job market challenges you’ve faced, similar to your struggle to find work during COVID.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit crowd brought fire, cheering your stand while roasting your mother’s antics with a side of practical advice. From urging you to call out her behavior to suggesting creative ways to show her the mirror, the comments were a mix of support and strategy. Here’s the raw scoop:

These Redditors rallied behind your embarrassment, slamming your mother’s behavior while offering ways to navigate the fallout. But do their takes balance the need for honesty with the risk of escalation, or are they just fueling the fire?

This story of dodging Costco trips to avoid a mother’s entitled outbursts reveals the heavy toll of living with a narcissistic parent. Your refusal to join her is a quiet rebellion against her chaos, but the looming confrontation—especially with a behavior talk planned—could shift the family dynamic, for better or worse. It’s a reminder that truth can be a double-edged sword in a home where peace is fragile. How would you handle a parent whose public behavior makes you cringe? Share your experiences and insights below!