WIBTA if I stopped seeing someone because they wont tell me the name of their religion?

A promising new connection can quickly become confusing when unexpected topics come up during early dates. One person recently found themselves questioning whether to continue seeing someone after a conversation about religion took an unusual turn. During their second date, the person they were seeing mentioned belonging to a “spiritual community.”

Curious and open-minded, the poster asked about it, expecting to hear about a familiar belief system or spiritual tradition. Instead, the explanation included vague descriptions of nature retreats and sober gatherings—but one key detail remained missing. When asked directly, the date refused to reveal the group’s name, leaving the poster wondering if that secrecy was a warning sign.

‘WIBTA if I stopped seeing someone because they wont tell me the name of their religion?’

The poster begins by describing how the second date started off normally.

Everything was chill, the conversation was easy and fun, I was excited for date two. On date 2 they mentioned a "spiritual community" so I asked about it.

Then their date mentioned belonging to a mysterious spiritual community.

They gave me a whole spiel about camping, praying in nature, retreats that demand you be sober, that a lot of 12 step members are involved... I was expecting something...

But when the poster asked for the name of the religion, the response raised suspicion.

But they didn't say the name of the group. So I asked if the religion had a name and they said, "yes, but I dont want to disclose that right...

Early dating often involves discovering important aspects of another person’s life, including their values, beliefs, and lifestyle choices. Religious or spiritual affiliation can be a deeply personal topic, and some individuals prefer to discuss it gradually rather than revealing everything immediately. From that perspective, the date’s hesitation might reflect a desire for privacy rather than secrecy.

However, transparency plays an important role in building trust during the early stages of a relationship. When someone refuses to share even the name of a group they are involved in, it can naturally raise questions or concerns. The lack of clarity may lead others to imagine possibilities that feel uncomfortable, including the fear of being connected to an unfamiliar or controversial organization.

Ultimately, compatibility often depends on comfort with each other’s beliefs and openness. If uncertainty around a partner’s spiritual involvement causes persistent concern, it can become a legitimate reason to reconsider continuing the relationship. Personal boundaries and peace of mind are important factors when deciding whether to move forward with someone new.

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Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Many commenters felt the secrecy was suspicious and supported the poster’s concerns.

[Reddit User] − NAH - culty culty cult cult RUN.

Ragnrok − If I'm happy to tell people on the first date and I'm a Satanist, what the f__k could this person be hiding

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widefeetwelcome − NTA. Call your dad.

Ryinth − NTA - run.

BellaBlue06 − NTA sounds like a cult that they don’t want judgement about. I’m not a fan of organized religion and cults are a no go for me.

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Other commenters suggested there might be reasonable explanations for the secrecy.

Nighlah − NTA but they also might be in a 12 step program and not feel comfortable disclosing it so early

richardjreidii − NAH. It could be that their religion is a deeply personal thing for them. Or it could be a cult. If it's a deal breaker it's a deal...

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[Reddit User] − INFO - Did they confirm it's an actual religion? People who are in twelve step programs and really respect it do not tend to give out details...

If the person is in AA or something then they're just being respectful of how things work there; those types legitimately don't say the name of it or anyone else...

A few users reacted with humor about the mysterious situation.

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edirongo1 − NTA ..it’s Amway

looktowindward − NTA, but don't run so fast - you could be missing out on a really awesome cult initiation ceremony.

Black candles, robes, a goat, ceremonial anthame dagger, maybe some n__ed people dancing. Come on - you don't get to see that kind of crazy s__t every day, am I...

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The story highlights how early dating conversations can quickly raise unexpected questions about compatibility and trust. While some people prefer to keep personal beliefs private at first, others see openness as essential when getting to know someone.

Situations like this can leave people wondering where to draw the line between respecting privacy and recognizing potential red flags. Would you continue dating someone who refused to reveal the name of their religious group? Or would the mystery alone be enough to make you walk away?

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