WIBTA if I reported a doctor for texting me?

In a routine doctor’s visit that stretched far beyond the usual rushed checkup, a woman found herself fielding a barrage of personal questions from a friendly physician. The appointment felt oddly intimate, but she brushed it off as a doctor taking extra care—until a text message the next day shattered that illusion. Using her private contact details from patient forms, the doctor crossed a line, sending a flirty message that left her uneasy and questioning his professionalism.

The woman’s discomfort grew as she reflected on the appointment’s casual probing into her relationship status, a detail that now seemed calculated. Her friend, who recommended the doctor, had a similar experience but didn’t receive such a text—perhaps because she’s not single. Caught between reluctance to derail a career and the need to address this breach of trust, her story unveils a troubling misuse of power in a space meant for care.

‘WIBTA if I reported a doctor for texting me?’

Earlier this week, I had a really strange doctor's appointment. I want to say up front that my doctor didn't harass me or make me feel uncomfortable during the appointment, but it was an unusually long appointment (almost an hour) where the doctor asked me a ton of questions about myself that didn't relate directly to my health.

I didn't really think much of it at the time, I just thought he was making small talk. I went to this doctor as a referral from a close friend of mine who had the same experience. Really long appointment, tons of questions, overall a very friendly guy.

My friend interpreted this as a doctor who actually cares about patients since most doctors will barely spend 15 minutes with you. The thing is, the day after this appointment I got a text from my doctor saying that he thought I was a beautiful and confident woman and he would love to go out with me sometime.

I never gave him my number, he must have got it from the forms I filled out before the appointment. I haven't replied to him but this feels really sketchy to me. I have no idea if this is legal or not but it definitely feels unprofessional. I have a feeling he texted me and not my friend because he asked my relationship status in a casual way.

It didn't really register at the time but now it feels really manipulative. He did the same thing to my friend, and she's not single. I don't want to ruin this guy's career, but I do think it should be known that he's invading his patient's privacy like this for personal reasons.. WIBTA if I skipped confronting him directly and went straight to reporting him?

EDIT: Thanks everyone for weighing in. I'm going to report him to the state medical board tomorrow. I haven't responded to his text and I won't communicate with him at all going forward. I was hesitant to report him because I didn't feel victimized or traumatized by this.

I don't want to date him, but at the end of the day all that happened to me was an unwanted text and a weird appointment. I realize now that it's really not about me or my feelings, it's about stopping someone from crossing very clear professional boundaries. If he's willing to do this, he might be willing to cross the line in other ways, too.

A doctor’s office is meantto be a sanctuary of trust, but this physician’s actions turned it into a stage for personal motives. The woman’s experience—facing a flirty text from her doctor, who accessed her number from patient forms—highlights a blatant breach of professional boundaries. His lengthy appointment, filled with personal questions, now appears as a calculated move to gauge her availability, exploiting the power imbalance inherent in a doctor-patient relationship.

This incident isn’t just about one text; it raises alarms about privacy and consent. The doctor’s use of confidential information for personal gain violates medical ethics, potentially affecting other patients. His behavior suggests a pattern, especially since the woman’s friend faced similar questioning, though spared the follow-up due to her relationship status.

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Dr. Leana Wen, a public health expert, wrote in a 2023 Washington Post article, “Physicians must maintain strict professional boundaries to preserve trust; any personal outreach, especially romantic, is a serious ethical violation.” This underscores the gravity of the doctor’s actions—his text wasn’t a harmless gesture but a misuse of authority that undermines patient safety.

Reporting him to the medical board, as the woman plans, is a critical step to protect others. Counseling could help her process the discomfort, while systemic changes, like stricter oversight on patient data use, are needed.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit community united in outrage, condemning the doctor’s actions as a gross misuse of patient information. They see his text as a clear violation of trust, with many urging the woman to report him to prevent further breaches.

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rolz63 - NTA. I'd report him right away.. He's abusing his position to gain access to confidential information about his clients.. Most likely, he's done this before or will do it again.

hamburger666666 - YWNBTA, you should actually ruin his career, this is wildly illegal. he's using his position of power to take advantage of women. report him in as many ways as you can.

ET318 - NTA. That sounds hella creepy and he shouldn’t be doing that. Texts checking up about health are one thing. Asking a patient out is concerning.

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stent_girl - NTA he should be reported. It is inappropriate behaviour. I am a doctor and this is way out of line! Report him!

WhatWouldScoobyDoo2 - Yikes. If not illegal SUPER unethical. NTA at all for reporting him- he's ruining his own career, you're saving the wellbeing future patients.

[Reddit User] - If he's willing to breach confidentiality forms to get at you he most likely has done it to others, for the safety of other women you should report him.

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SometimesFar - the day after this appointment I got a text from my doctor saying that he thought I was a beautiful and confident woman and he would love to go out with me sometime. Yikes on bikes.. This doctor is behaving incredibly unethically and unprofessionally. You need to report him. You are 100% NTA.

Saosin_ - YWNBTA.. Report him.

bshoe1992 - NTA, report him. right now.

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[Reddit User] - NTA - you have to report this. he deserves to have his career ruined, he has been trained and knows this is misconduct. you are not the first person this has happened to and you will not be the last.

Commenters, including a fellow doctor, labeled the behavior unethical and potentially illegal, emphasizing that such actions reflect a dangerous pattern. They applaud the woman’s decision to act, noting that protecting future patients outweighs any hesitation to disrupt the doctor’s career.

This woman’s story exposes the unsettling reality of a doctor crossing ethical lines, turning a space of care into one of discomfort. It’s a stark reminder that professional boundaries exist to protect patients, and breaching them carries consequences. How would you handle a trusted professional stepping over the line in such a personal way? Share your thoughts and experiences below.

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