WIBTA if I order meat at a restaurant, knowing it’s the only thing my brother won’t eat?

In a family kitchen, a 17-year-old’s generosity soured when her older brother scoffed at the $30 Thai food she paid for, devouring most of it only to call it “n**ty.” Tired of his ungrateful jabs despite her footing the bill for family meals, she’s ready to order meat dishes he can’t eat, knowing it’ll spark a fight. Her stand, fueled by frustration, tests sibling bonds and family harmony.

This Reddit saga dishes out a spicy mix of resentment and resolve, where a teen’s hard-earned cash clashes with her brother’s entitlement. Her plan to exclude him from future orders, while satisfying, risks escalating their rocky relationship. With parents caught in the crossfire, this story pulls readers into a drama of gratitude, boundaries, and family friction.

‘WIBTA if I order meat at a restaurant, knowing it’s the only thing my brother won’t eat?’

My older brother (23M) has been staying with my parents and I since everything in the world went to s**t. My brother and I (17F) have never gotten along; I find him selfish, entitled, and incredibly disrespectful. He‘s the kind of person who thinks he’s smarter than everyone else, especially considering how many people he’ll call stupid (it’s his go-to insult for my parents and me).

Now that I’m older and off to college soon I choose to not associate with him, but it was hard growing up with him, and being in the same household as him right now has made things even harder. Anyways, yesterday I paid $30 on a to-go order for two pad thai’s and a fried rice.

My brother didn’t complain about the order or suggest ordering something else, and he didn’t offer to pay. While in the car he eats probably 3/4 of the whole pad thai and almost the entire fried rice. He then proceeds to tell me that the food was n**ty.

I tell him how rude it is to eat the food someone else paid for and be ungrateful for it, and he starts going on about how I was the one who picked the food, how he’s not going to lie about how he felt about the meal, how I didn’t cook it so I shouldn’t be offended, yada yada.

To me It’s not about the food, so much as it is that he’s consistently ungrateful for what other people do for him. I pay for the majority of my families meals at the moment because A. I’m the only one who usually has opinions on where to eat and B. I’m the only one in my household who is currently working.

I’ve probably paid over $150 in food since he got here and not once has he said thanks. Truth be told I get the food for me and not him (eating out is one of my favorite things to do and at the moment I’m trying to support local restaurants);

ADVERTISEMENT

Nonetheless, I pay extra so that there’s enough for him to eat and I get something that I think we’ll suit his taste and dietary restrictions, since he doesn’t eat meat. He does pay for things occasionally, but not even half as often as I do, and I’m definitely not as ungrateful as he is.

I’m not asking for a huge thank you from him or for him to pretend it’s the best food he’s ever had. I’d settle for him just simply not eating food that I paid for when he doesn’t like it, because I or someone else in the family could have ate it.

ADVERTISEMENT

Anyways starting tomorrow I’m planning on ordering only food for myself and my parents which means almost everything will have meat, because that’s what I would’ve ordered before he got here. I can almost guarantee he’ll cuss me out, and that my parents will try and encourage me to get at least something he can eat.

Frankly I’m done trying to appease to him just to be treated like hot garbage. He can either cook for himself (which he never does) or eat pantry canned goods.. I’m wondering what you guys think. WIBTA?

Sibling tensions often flare over shared resources, and this 17-year-old’s clash with her 23-year-old brother highlights how gratitude, or its absence, can ignite conflict. Her role as the primary meal funder, despite being the youngest, is a heavy burden, made heavier by her brother’s dismissive attitude—eating most of the $30 Thai order she paid for, then calling it “n**ty.” Her plan to order meat, knowing he avoids it, is a deliberate boundary, but its passive-aggressive edge risks escalating their already strained dynamic.

ADVERTISEMENT

The brother’s behavior—consuming food he critiques without contributing—reflects entitlement, possibly rooted in their fraught history. His vegetarianism, a dietary restriction she’s accommodated, becomes a flashpoint when she considers excluding him, signaling her refusal to enable his ingratitude. Her parents’ likely pushback, as she anticipates, may stem from a desire to keep peace, but it risks undermining her valid frustration.

Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein, a family conflict expert, notes, “When one sibling feels exploited, setting boundaries is crucial, but delivery matters—direct communication often trumps retaliatory actions.” Her attempt to reason with him, as shown in the update, failed, justifying her shift to self-focused orders. However, openly stating her stance—buying only for herself and parents unless he pays or shows respect—could clarify boundaries without the meat-order jab, which feels like a power play.

To move forward, she should maintain her financial boundary, calmly explaining to her parents that she’s prioritizing her own enjoyment given his attitude. Engaging her brother in a candid talk about mutual respect, though tough, might ease tensions. This story, echoing your past frustration with your brother’s irresponsibility, underscores the importance of standing firm against exploitation while seeking constructive paths to family peace.

ADVERTISEMENT

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit users overwhelmingly supported the teen, praising her for standing up to her brother’s entitled behavior. They called him immature for criticizing food he didn’t pay for, especially since he ate most of it, and backed her right to stop funding his meals. Many urged her to set firm boundaries, suggesting she tell him to cook or pay for himself, and warned against letting parental pressure guilt her into backing down.

Some cautioned against the meat-order plan as passive-aggressive, recommending direct refusal to buy for him instead. They admired her maturity in supporting her family at 17, contrasting it with her brother’s lack of gratitude, and encouraged her to protect her finances. The debate highlights the balance between asserting boundaries and avoiding petty retaliation in family conflicts.

MyAskRedditAcct − NTA. Dude's gotta learn not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I'm not a super picky eater but the one thing I don't like is common (onions - *I know, I know*) so I always expect to either pay for something just for me, or put up and shut up if I'm eating with a group.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA, your brother sounds terrible. 'When you are paying for it you can have what you want' should be repeated at nausea and if your parents say boo then ask them to pay for it.

nnothmann − NTA, he should be making his own meals at home or paying for them himself if he's gonna be acting like that. he's incredibly immature, and should be embarrassed to be eating so much food paid for by his highschool sister. he's an adult.

the805daddy − NTA. This whole time I was like sounds like a teenager? And then I re read the post and realized YOU were the one acting like an adult and he’s acting like a child.

ADVERTISEMENT

iamtheahole − NTa. When the inevitible comes 'I'm not buying something for someone who is never happy with it, I'm done with that negativity. I'm done being critisized for spending money on something and it not being good enough.

And anyone who suggests I should just 'deal with it' or any other wording with the same meaning, will also be responsible for their own food too. And that starts immediately after I stop talking right now. Anyone who disagrees, will be feeding themselves.'

xolympia − NTA Oof my brother is like this; entitled and ungrateful. If you cook it’s never good enough, etc. Advice; you need to set boundaries with him Which he will fight because he has gotten used to taking advantage of you having none.

ADVERTISEMENT

He should also be utterly EMBARRASSED his sister 5yrs his junior, and you are a minor, is supporting him. To support your parents in a time of need is one thing, he can figure it the f out.

SlowAndInconspicuous − NTA. He needs to order his own damn food if he wants to eat and stop mooching off other people’s food.

GOTQuarantine − NTA. He’s 23, he can buy or make his own food since he seems unappreciative of what you buy

ADVERTISEMENT

Horangi1987 − NTA - and the kicker is, not only did he complain about the Thai food, HE ATE MOST OF IT ON THE WAY HOME. I get where some people think you are coming off as passive aggressive or disrespectful for what you are about to do, but I heartily disagree due to his extra step in this scenario.. Let him complain - he’ll figure out his own way.

scarletnightingale − NTA. I'm honestly a little repulsed imagining someone telling someone else how disgusting the food is while also actively shoveling the food into his mouth while seated in a car (because he couldn't even wait till he got home to rip into the food?).

I am concerned that you are having to spend so much of your money feeding your family given you age, though it is generous of you. Anyway, there is nothing stopping him from ordering his own food. If he doesn't like the food you order for yourself and are willingly sharing with him then he is capable of purchasing his own food or making dinner himself.

ADVERTISEMENT

This teen’s tale of takeout and takedowns shows how an ungrateful sibling can sour family meals. Her meat-order plan draws a line, but a frank stand might cut deeper without the drama. Boundaries, not beef, could restore balance. How would you handle a sibling who trashes your generosity? Share your thoughts below—let’s keep this savory debate cooking!

The author has updated the information for the article below:

Update: First off, I did not expect this post to get this much attention. I want to thank everyone for their comments; even if I didn’t respond, I tried to read as many of them as I could, and I’m touched by how many people responded or DM’ed me that they can relate to my relationship with my sibling.

A couple people asked me to post an update, but I don’t think it’s as interesting as some of you had hoped it’d be. For dinner tonight I ordered takeout and asked my parents if they’d like me to get anything for them. My brother immediately chimes in with his order, and I told him I’d order whatever he wants as long as he’s paying for it.

ADVERTISEMENT

He asks me if I’m “making” him do this because he didn’t like the “s**tty” thai food I got. The resulting argument was almost identical to the one in my OG post: I reiterate that he shouldn’t take for granted what other people get for him, he tells me that he doesn’t have to because it wasn’t good food.

I tell him that he shouldn’t have ate of all it, and he pretends like he would’ve starved if he didn’t. After a couple of you suggested I try to reason and reconcile with my brother, I figured I’d give him one last chance to show at least a semblance of respect...but nope, nada.

I told him I’m not paying for anything else he eats, and ended up placing an order just for myself-which yes, had meat. Surprisingly he didn’t blow up at me like I had expected, but I suspect he thinks I’m partially bluffing (obviously I was not) and will eventually forgive him and go back to treating him.

ADVERTISEMENT

For the time being I’ll probably be ordering food just for myself, as my parents are not going to want me to order food specifically excluding my brother. It’s a bit disheartening that I won’t be able to share food with my family, as everything else sucks right now and good food is one of the few things we could still bond over and enjoy.

But at the end of the day it is their decision, and they seem to understand why I’m not enabling my brothers behavior off my own dime.. Again, thank you to everyone! Your support and advice has helped tremendously..

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *