WIBTA if i met daddy’s do over baby against his wishes?

A woman’s long-buried family history resurfaced when her 18-year-old half-sister, raised across the Atlantic, reached out to meet her. Their father, who dismissed the woman as a youthful “mistake” and never supported her, opposes the reunion, claiming it could derail his younger daughter’s college plans.

Raised in poverty while her father lived in wealth, the woman is intrigued by her half-sister’s curiosity, sparked by a surprise inheritance from their late grandmother. His objection, rooted in outdated assumptions about her life, has turned a potential sibling connection into a delicate standoff.

‘WIBTA if i met daddy’s do over baby against his wishes?’

I, 36f have never had a relationship with my dad. The one time i met him he flat out told that I am nothing more than a mistake he made at age 19. He lived a very affluent life while I was raised in abject poverty, ( he never made financial contributions to my well being).

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Recently, his mother passed away. I have no idea how she found out about me because he hid the fact that I existed from his entire family. She left me, a not insubstantial amount of money in her will( now sitting in a college fund for my daughter). This led several members of the family to question who I was and why she had left me money, forcing dad to confess.

His do over baby has contacted me and wants to fly over to meet . They live in the UK and I live in the U.S. My dad has made it clear that he is against this because it will derail her college bound path (she's just turned 18).. I must admit I am curious as to what she's like. Wibta if i met her despite dad's objections.. ​

The woman’s desire to meet her half-sister clashes with her father’s controlling stance, rooted in his fear of her influence. His dismissal of her as a “mistake” and lack of support reveal a pattern of neglect, making his objections seem more about self-preservation than genuine concern for his younger daughter.

This situation reflects broader issues in estranged family dynamics. A 2020 study by the Journal of Family Psychology found that 27% of adults experience family estrangement, often due to unresolved conflicts or abandonment. The father’s assumptions about the woman’s life—likening it to a chaotic “Cops” episode—underscore his disconnect, ignoring her stability and achievements.

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Family therapist Dr. Joshua Coleman notes, “Reconnecting with estranged siblings can foster healing, but only if both parties approach it with openness”. The woman’s curiosity and her half-sister’s initiative suggest potential for a meaningful bond, independent of their father’s bias. His attempt to control their meeting disregards their autonomy as adults.

To move forward, the woman could arrange a low-pressure meeting, perhaps virtually at first, to build trust and sidestep her father’s objections. Readers facing similar family tensions should prioritize their own emotional needs and set boundaries with controlling relatives, fostering connections that honor mutual respect and curiosity.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit users firmly supported the woman, asserting that both she and her half-sister, as adults, have the right to meet without their father’s interference. They criticized his controlling behavior and neglect, viewing his objections as baseless and self-serving.

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The community encouraged the woman to embrace the connection, noting that her father’s fears about derailing college plans were unfounded. They saw the meeting as a chance for both sisters to reclaim their narrative from his dismissive legacy.

LEGOPASTA2 − NTA - Your dad sucks and his other child can do whatever she likes, she is 18 years old. If it means she ends up resenting your dad for the way he treated you then that'll be the bed he made.

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drukqsx − NTA at all. Youre both adults and can do as you please. No need to cater to the wishes of someone who isnt even a part of your life.

Raptorscars − NTA. You and your sister are adults, you can do whatever you want. Your sperm donor gets absolutely zero votes about anything to do with you and your life.

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filkerdave − NTA, nor is your sperm donor's other daughter. And she has free will to do what she wishes; it's not on you.. Your 'father' is TA

[Reddit User] − NTA. You're both adults. Your abusive father cannot control you anymore.. because it will derail her college bound path. WTF. How does meeting someone make them drop out of college?

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IKnowFewThings − NTA. You're both adults. Do whatever you're legally allowed to do.. INFO: How will you two meeting 'derail her college bound path'?

ArchyDWolf − Reddit's using all our posts and data to train AI's, so, I just deleted mine.

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TH13TEENGHOST − “Do over baby” is a terrible way to refer to someone who’s not responsible for your sperm donors behavior. Anyway NTA you’re both legal adults that wanna meet each other he doesn’t have a say.

hideaway367 − NTA please tell that girl everything. She needs to know

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RighteousVengeance − NTA. You're an adult. She's an adult. If you want to meet each other, you can. And Daddy Dearest can take a flying leap. You owe him absolutely no consideration.

Obviously, he did not inherit his mother's sense of responsibility and fairness. I'm so happy for you that she remembered you and tried to make up for what your dad cheated you out of.

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This tale of estrangement and reconnection highlights the power of forging bonds despite past pain. The woman’s choice to meet her half-sister could redefine their family story, defying their father’s control. How would you navigate a reunion with a long-lost sibling? Share your thoughts below!

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