WIBTA If I locked my own room just so my roommate’s parents can’t stay in the apartment?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Imagine a college student, knee-deep in moving boxes, juggling finals stress while their roommate’s parents play puppet master from afar. For one 19-year-old, this apartment move-in has been a chaotic ride, with their roommate’s parents nixing every plan—from lease timing to furniture picks—like overzealous judges on a reality show. The student’s frustration simmers as their carefully laid plans unravel under parental vetoes, leaving them with an empty apartment and mounting tension.

Now, the real kicker: these parents plan to crash in the student’s bedroom for six weeks over the summer. Feeling like their space is under siege, the student plots to lock their door, a move that could cost them their best friend. It’s a juicy saga of boundaries and bold moves that’s got Reddit buzzing. Can they protect their space without torching their friendship?

‘WIBTA If I locked my own room just so my roommate’s parents can’t stay in the apartment?’

During the moving process of finding an apartment, my roommate's parents were single-handedly the most difficult people to deal with. The following events all took place in chronological order.  I originally wanted to move in April in order to avoid having to move during finals.

His parents shot down the idea and told him that he was not allowed to sign the lease until May. We prepared a complete list of furniture together without our parents' involvement. (Keep in mind that we are both 19. My parents who live abroad simply gave me a budget and told me to sort it out myself).

My roommate's parents vetoed the list of furniture and told us that everything had to be cheaper. Ok no worries, I proceed to sit on my own and recreate an entire list of furniture and then send it again. For a second time, It was rejected because the “couch was too expensive for no reason” (Keep in mind this couch is being bought used).

Sensing an approach to the move in date and the fact that I still was not given the ok to buy the furniture. I tell my roommate that I need to buy the furniture because he is leaving for summer and I do not want to be stuck building it all on my own. For an entire week, my roommate then avoids me completely telling me that he has finals and not to bother him.

 His parents refuse to allow me to purchase the furniture and tell me to wait. (It is now May 1st, I have the keys to the apartment and no furniture I managed to convince my dorm to allow me to stay a couple of extra days).  Since the delivery date of the furniture would now be after he leaves I asked him if his parents would be willing to split the assembly fee so that I would not have to build everything on my own. His parents said no.

They would not pay for someone to come assemble the furniture because it would be an extra 100$. May 3rd I receive a call from my dad. My dad has always been more of the strict type, he berated me on the phone for not having been organized enough to sort out buying furniture for an apartment as a 19-year-old.

I was told to just buy whatever furniture I want out of my pocket rather than wait on my roommate to respond. My mom had also forced my dad to buy a plane ticket to fly 18 hours to come to assist me in moving. After my dad flew 18 hours to come to assist me and my roommate in moving,

and building all of the furniture my roommate told me that his parents were coming to our city for the summer and that they wanted to stay in the apartment for a month and a half. He wanted them to sleep in my room. After my roommate left I hired a carpenter and installed a key lock on the door of my bedroom.

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ince I paid for the TV, Couch, and pretty much 60% of all the furniture my dad wanted me to put the couch and tv in storage. I decided that the best medium would be to leave everything but to lock my bedroom door. My mother warned me that if I go through with this I could potentially lose my best friend. WIBTA if I locked my door for the summer?

This roommate fiasco is a masterclass in boundary battles, where a young adult’s independence slams headfirst into parental overreach. The student’s exasperation is understandable—having every decision, from couches to move-in dates, shot down by their roommate’s parents feels like living in a dictatorship. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes in The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work , “Healthy boundaries are built on mutual respect and clear communication.” The student’s urge to lock their room is a desperate bid to reclaim control after being sidelined.

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The conflict underscores a common issue: navigating external influences in shared living. A 2024 Rent.com report found 58% of young renters struggle with roommate-related family interference, often escalating tensions. The parents’ refusal to split assembly costs or respect the student’s contributions shows a lack of regard for their role as an equal tenant.

Gottman’s advice—open, honest dialogue—could help. The student should calmly tell their roommate that their parents’ stay feels invasive, especially after the move-in ordeal. Suggesting alternatives, like the parents using the roommate’s room or a hotel, keeps things fair. Documenting agreements, like a lease clause on guest stays, can prevent future clashes. This approach builds respect without sparking a feud, turning a tense apartment into a cooperative home.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit jumped into this drama like it’s a blockbuster showdown, dishing out support and shade in equal measure. From calling the parents “nightmares” to suggesting lease checks, the community brought the heat. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

Chrysoptera − NTA. This roommate is a total nightmare. ETA: Tell your landlord about the illegal subletters (his parents) because that kind of thing is against the terms of most leases.

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[Reddit User] − Nta. If your story is correct f**k his parents. Not to mention they aren't entitled to your room anyways. If its going to be a big friendship ending fight you may want to consider an alternative though, maybe make them pay your portion of the rent if they want to stay in your room

Finn_Finite − NTA, but why don't you just talk to your roommate and set boundaries? It sounds like they've grown up being squashed by their parents on everything, and they need to learn how to draw lines, too. 'Hey, roommate. I know you talked about your parents coming to visit. I just wanted to let you know they aren't welcome in my room at all, ever.

They aren't my parents and I'm not particularly fond of them, so I see no reason to invite them into my private space.' Also double check your lease - most places won't allow visitors for an entire summer anyway. That would give you good leverage to get them put away at a hotel somewhere instead.

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AleKx29 − Thank you all so much for your comments. I now have a huge problem. After talking with my roommate about what happened he revealed to me that his father was given a 10-month notice that his job is going to be terminated.

My mom is telling me to let it go and let them stay in the apartment however my dad is standing his ground and saying it does not excuse their lack of concern for me sleeping on the floor and their difficulty in every step of moving in. I still believe I should lock the door however I will most likely give them notice beforehand.

CulturalHunter − NTA. What the hell? You could have just skipped the whole furniture thing and the answer would still be the same. It is YOUR ROOM. If you're up to day on your rent, and paying your bills as you should NO ONE has the right to stay in your room. Period.

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partyrockerdj − NTA. Tbh your roommate sounds attached at the hip to his parents who are not good people. If installing a lock is the boiling point that blows your friendship, I suggest you take note of every event that has led up to this point.

Your boundaries and input was shot down at every step for the wants of people who will not be living full time in your apartment.. I would see if there is any penalty for breaking the lease and try to get a different roommate

teresajs − NTA. Lock your door AND put your furnishings in storage if you're going to be gone for summer. Also, check your lease... It probably says something about 'no long term visitors'. In other words, his parenys staying for weeks almost certainly violates your lease.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Lock your door. If they are paying rent, with your soon to be roommate’s consent, they are entitled to use his space and the furniture/things he/they bought. They sound like they have more financial constraints, but are also entitled. On the other hand, your parents sound awesome!

pdpablo86 − Yikes, I do not miss having roommates, this takes me right back to college. NTA, at all. In fact, I agree with your father that you should have put the things you paid for in storage. Sorry to say though, I don't think there's a way around this being an enormous fight. Good luck

[Reddit User] − NTA. You're paying half the rent, that room is yours. Your roommate should offer his bed to them and take the couch - the couch that his parents were so controlling over.

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This sounds like a nightmare if this is a 100% accurate description of what went on. I'd find another roommate next year, one that doesn't have parents that not only control their adult son, but also try to control their son's roommate.. You should talk to him and tell him, though.

These Redditors backed the student’s lock-the-door plan, tossing in witty jabs at the parents’ entitlement. But do their spicy takes nail the full story, or are they just fanning the flames?

This saga of furniture fights and locked doors captures the messy reality of shared living, where personal space becomes a battleground. The student’s plan to lock their room is a bold stand, but it risks fracturing a friendship already strained by parental meddling. Balancing respect for their roommate with their own needs is a tightrope walk many can relate to. What would you do if your space was invaded by unexpected guests? Share your thoughts and experiences below—how would you handle this roommate roulette?

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