WIBTA if I lock myself in my room until I leave for school next week because I’m sick of my family using my sisters BPD as an excuse for everything?

In a cozy suburban home, the hum of an 18-year-old’s college preparations is drowned out by a familiar family uproar. A morning spat, sparked by a sister’s outburst over a yoga class and an absurd soda-related accusation, has left the teen weary. Diagnosed with BPD and Histrionic Personality Disorder, the sister’s volatility casts a shadow over the household, and the teen, on the cusp of leaving for college, feels suffocated by the constant need to tiptoe around her.

With scholarships secured and a grandmother’s support in their pocket, the teen’s heart is set on Thursday’s departure—a gateway to independence. The sting of being blamed for their sister’s actions, coupled with their parents’ pleas for “family unity,” has pushed them to consider hiding in their room until escape. It’s a quiet act of defiance, born from years of feeling unheard, as they dream of a fresh start far from the chaos.

‘WIBTA if I lock myself in my room until I leave for school next week because I’m sick of my family using my sisters BPD as an excuse for everything?’

Family life can feel like a tightrope walk when mental health challenges like BPD enter the mix. The teen’s clash with their sister, Angie, over a yoga class and a bizarre soda related accusation reveals a household strained by imbalance. Angie’s BPD and Histrionic Personality Disorder drive her intense reactions, but as psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula explains, “Mental illness explains behavior, but it doesn’t excuse hurting others” . The teen’s frustration stems from being held accountable for Angie’s actions, like her 3L soda binge, which highlights a classic BPD trait: externalizing blame.

The parents’ approach—urging the teen to “work it out” while excusing Angie’s outburst—tilts the family dynamic heavily in one direction. This enabling, though rooted in love, risks perpetuating Angie’s unhealthy coping mechanisms. A 2020 Frontiers in Psychiatry study notes that family enabling can exacerbate BPD symptoms, delaying recovery . The teen’s desire to retreat reflects a need for self-preservation, as their feelings are consistently sidelined.

Dr. Durvasula’s insight underscores the importance of boundaries: “You can support someone with BPD without absorbing their chaos.” For the teen, setting boundaries might mean calmly disengaging from conflicts and prioritizing self-care, like attending their goodbye party. Writing a letter to their parents before leaving could express their feelings without sparking confrontation, fostering clarity while maintaining distance.

To navigate such dynamics, the teen could explore strategies like the “grey rock method,” where neutral responses defuse conflict without escalation . Engaging in mindfulness or journaling could also help process emotions before college. For families facing similar challenges, professional guidance, like family therapy, can balance support and accountability, ensuring no one’s needs are erased.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit’s community rallies behind the teen with empathy and sharp wit, seeing the family’s enabling as a trap. They encourage the teen to protect their mental health and set boundaries before college.

As the teen counts down to college, their room becomes a sanctuary from a family storm. It’s a subtle stand for self-preservation, proving love doesn’t mean enduring chaos. How do you handle family tensions when mental health shifts the balance? Share your stories below—let’s get the conversation going!