WIBTA If I kick my brother and his wife out even though I know they can’t support themselves and their newborn baby?

Picture a cramped living room, where a fold-out couch doubles as a makeshift home for a young couple and their newborn. The air’s thick with tension as promises of “just a few months” stretch into a year of excuses. This Reddit drama unfolds in a young couple’s home, where a 23-year-old man grapples with his brother’s freeloading ways. From jobless days to a cuss-filled outburst, the situation’s gone from generous hospitality to a ticking eviction clock.

What makes this tale sting is the newborn caught in the middle—a tiny life dependent on parents who can’t seem to step up. The OP’s frustration, shared by his fed-up wife, mirrors the exhaustion of anyone who’s opened their home only to feel taken for granted. As Reddit weighs in, this story begs us to ponder: where’s the line between helping family and protecting your own peace?

‘WIBTA If I kick my brother and his wife out even though I know they can’t support themselves and their newborn baby?’

Ok so this is complicated to me. So I(23m) am kicking my brother(25m) out at the start of the month. So a little backstory. My brother and his wife(23f) who was pregnant at the time were kicked out of her mom's house back in September of 2020. My brother asked if he could move in with my wife (22f) and me for a few months while he got another job and made enough to get a place for him and his family.

I was ok with it, so he moved in with his wife. I set them up in the living room on a fold out couch. As months went by he didn't find a job but kept saying he was looking for one and he had no way to get to any interviews. He and his wife refused to clean the house and make such a mess my wife was becoming increasingly frustrated with them. I offered to take him to work all I asked is find something anything.

Even the simple ones like fast food restaurants. A job is better than no job right. I kept reminding him that his baby is on the way get a job. Well my nephew was born in January and he still hadn't gotten a job. After I kept persisting did he actually make an attempt at finding one. After five months! He worked for a month with hardly any problems and was paying rent finally.

So when I asked him how much longer it would be till he was ready to move out he said he wasn't sure because he was buying a car. This did not bother me because he needed to get to work without me taking him it gave me a break. The problem really came when he got the car. He started to not go to work instead he would drive all day and night and sleep when when it was time to work.

I asked him what was going on and all he could say was 'don't worry I still have a job' and then shut me down everytime I persisted. Well a week ago I was at work and my wife called me on the phone saying I need to get home immediately because my brother cussed he out. I get home and my wife explained that she said she's worried that they aren't saving any money and he started cussing her out saying 'don't count my pockets'.

I told him I will count your pockets anytime I feel because I need to make sure he leaves like he said he would. He told me to go s**ew myself. If he doesn't want to let me know how much money he is saving back then he needs to set a date to leave and stick with it. He said give home till the end of the month, i agreed.

So he is scheduled to leave at the beging of the month but I know for a fact he will not have enough money to get into a place or take care of their newborn baby. So I guess what I'm asking is AITB if I kick my brother and his wife out even though I know they won't be able to support them selves and the baby.

Edit #1 My wife agreed to have them move in. She thought it would be ok to help. She views my brother as an older brother. We both slowly started to resent him and his behavior over time. She lost faith in them quicker than I did. I came to their defense longer than I should have.

Kicking out family is never a light decision, especially with a newborn in the mix. The OP’s saga screams of boundaries trampled by a brother who’s more comfortable coasting than contributing. His refusal to job-hunt diligently and his outburst at OP’s wife show a lack of respect for the roof over his head.

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This dynamic isn’t uncommon. A 2021 Census Bureau report notes 17% of young adults live with relatives due to financial instability, often straining family ties (source). Dr. John Townsend, a psychologist specializing in boundaries, says, “Helping family is noble, but enabling dependency harms everyone involved” (source). The brother’s car purchase over saving for a home suggests misplaced priorities, not progress.

OP’s wife faced verbal aggression, signaling a hostile environment. Dr. Townsend advises, “Clear deadlines and consequences protect your household’s well-being.” OP’s move-out date is a step toward accountability, though the baby’s welfare tugs at the heart. Suggesting social services or family mediation could ease the transition.

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The brother’s pattern—mirroring why his wife’s mother evicted them—hints at deeper issues, possibly addiction or irresponsibility, as Reddit speculates. OP could offer resources like job programs or low-income housing options (e.g., source). What’s your advice for navigating this family fallout?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit brought the heat, serving up a mix of righteous indignation and practical jabs. From calls to involve lawyers to suspicions of deeper issues, the community’s got OP’s back. Check out their unfiltered takes:

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Dandie24 - NTA, if you don’t kick them out they will NEVER, and I mean never leave. They’ll always have an excuse. Don’t feel bad for wanting them to move out. You were generous enough to let them stay for a few months , and now their time is up. Also, they decided to have a child, so now they need to step up and be responsible adults.

Appropriate-Energy - NTA, but your brother absolutely is for putting his family in this situation. This is entirely on him. It makes me wonder why they were kicked out of their last place and if there are mental health or addiction issues at play.. You set the boundaries you need to. You are not in the wrong.

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dusktildawn9 - NTA I’d say contact a lawyer so you can make sure they leave. They aren’t going to go without legal interference.

salukiqueen - Sounds like your brother left his legit job to deal drugs. NTA and honestly reading your post all I could think was “and now we know why they were kicked out of her mom’s”.

Amythist35 - NTA He is making your home unsafe for your wife, and needs to leave. He is not helping his situation and he is actively making your home hostile. He needs to go.

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[Reddit User] - NTA. There's a prevailing trend in this group and I absolutely can't stand it. It's this idea that the existence of a baby makes despicable actions suddenly something to be tolerated. A person in your brother's situation shouldn't even be thinking about having a baby in the first place. But, to his credit, it doesn't sound like he's trying to protect himself from the consequences of his actions by protesting,

'But I have a baby! You can't kick me out!'. Although that strategy might be used as the deadline date approaches. Your brother has been taking advantage of your hospitality for far too long. He should have been out months ago.. If you're concerned about the baby, then call CPS. They will find a foster home for the child.

G_F_Y_Plz - Do it.. I've extended myself for my little brother about five times. It has never worked out. Never again.

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babybella92 - NTA. You're not a charity and they're adults.. They want to be parents, they should start acting responsibily

[Reddit User] - NTA and his wifes mother most likely kicked them out for the exact same reason, and they still haven't learned a thing. I am curious about one thing though, you've talked about your brothers behaviour, but whats his wife like?

RenaxTM - NTA, If you're scared to kick out a newborn then don't, just kick out the adults.... They'll never leave him but also can't blame you for kicking him out. Hopefully your brother can sell the car for something to afford a nice enaugh place to stay for his family...

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These Reddit roasts hit hard, but do they capture the full complexity—or just fan the flames of frustration?

This tale of overstayed welcomes and a newborn’s uncertain future leaves us wrestling with tough questions. OP’s patience stretched thin, but his brother’s recklessness tests the limits of family loyalty. With a baby in the equation, the stakes feel sky-high. Reddit’s rallying cry for boundaries resonates, but the path forward isn’t simple. Have you ever had to draw a hard line with family? What would you do if a loved one’s choices put their child at risk? Share your thoughts below!

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